Firsts.
Last Saturday, I celebrated my first anniversary with my first boyfriend. You know, two years ago, I never believed I'd make it this far with someone. Well yeah, mayyyyybe someday far off in the future when I'm in the working world. But before him, I loved my single life too much. Single life was good. Really good. Life with someone else felt so... leceh. You gotta consider that someone in every decision you make, you gotta talk to him everyday, you gotta check your phone once every hour or so, you gotta make time for him every few days, at least. You couldn't just run off with another guy, and that was a big problem for me. In short, in my mind, being in a relationship was like being in a cage.
I was young, single, and fortunate enough to be exploring the world. I was happy that way.
What most people didn't know was that I had this belief, that I wasn't meant for anyone. In retrospect, maybe it was a naive thought, because I was still only in my teens, I probably just haven't met the right people. But there were so many factors that led me to think that I would be much better off alone. So I built walls, and prepared myself for a #foreveralone life. I would be that woman who travel around the world and do good things for the world and its people, but never get married. The kind who goes everywhere under the pretense of wanting new experiences but in reality just don't want to stay home because there was no reason for her to.
And then I had a dream.
That dream felt so... real. But there was a small probability it would actually happen, so I buried it somewhere deep in my heart and continued with life. Somehow I had faith in it, but I didn't take action. It was a nice feeling, to feel like you could actually be with someone.
That someone started talking to me about a month later. And the next month, we took the plunge and officially got together. I don't know what he was thinking, but for the first time, I didn't analyze much before doing it. I was happy with him, I felt that we would be good together, and that dream gave me faith in my relationship with him.
Sure, after some months, I started to think, was it a bad decision, to rush into a relationship? We were fighting a lot then. The future seemed bleak, it seemed like there was no light at the end of the tunnel. But I held on to what we had, and he held on (a lot more strongly) to what we had, and then the storm passed. Sometimes the clouds loomed again, but they cleared after a while, and we came out stronger than before.
I met you. You met me. I liked you, and you liked me back. Then I fought with you, you fought with me. But I stuck by you, and you stuck by me. And then we turned one.
In that one year, there was so much that I Iearned, so much that I wouldn't know had I not taken the plunge. Being in a relationship is not a cage; it is freedom. Freedom from always having to look presentable so that you wouldn't scare away potential flings. Freedom from analyzing potential partners. Freedom from wondering whether that guy likes you enough to want your number. Freedom from wondering whether you made a fool of yourself in front of that guy. Because when you're in a relationship, even if you make a lame joke, or don't feel like wearing make-up after a long tiring day, or fart beside him, or wake up with horrible hair and that person happens to see it because you couldn't be bothered to look into the mirror before meeting him, that person will love you anyway.
Life with someone else isn't troublesome, it is lovely. You don't have to call him everyday, but you want to because you love the sound of his voice. You don't have to check your phone every other hour, but you want to, because he is constantly on your mind and you want to know whether you are on his, too. You don't have to meet him every few days, but you want to, because everytime you're with him, happiness fills your heart. And you don't have to consider him in every decision you make, but you still do anyway, because you want him to be happy, too. Life with someone else is a roller-coaster ride, but it is a pretty damn amazing ride.
Life is especially amazing with you, love. Happy first. (:
I was young, single, and fortunate enough to be exploring the world. I was happy that way.
What most people didn't know was that I had this belief, that I wasn't meant for anyone. In retrospect, maybe it was a naive thought, because I was still only in my teens, I probably just haven't met the right people. But there were so many factors that led me to think that I would be much better off alone. So I built walls, and prepared myself for a #foreveralone life. I would be that woman who travel around the world and do good things for the world and its people, but never get married. The kind who goes everywhere under the pretense of wanting new experiences but in reality just don't want to stay home because there was no reason for her to.
And then I had a dream.
That dream felt so... real. But there was a small probability it would actually happen, so I buried it somewhere deep in my heart and continued with life. Somehow I had faith in it, but I didn't take action. It was a nice feeling, to feel like you could actually be with someone.
That someone started talking to me about a month later. And the next month, we took the plunge and officially got together. I don't know what he was thinking, but for the first time, I didn't analyze much before doing it. I was happy with him, I felt that we would be good together, and that dream gave me faith in my relationship with him.
Sure, after some months, I started to think, was it a bad decision, to rush into a relationship? We were fighting a lot then. The future seemed bleak, it seemed like there was no light at the end of the tunnel. But I held on to what we had, and he held on (a lot more strongly) to what we had, and then the storm passed. Sometimes the clouds loomed again, but they cleared after a while, and we came out stronger than before.
I met you. You met me. I liked you, and you liked me back. Then I fought with you, you fought with me. But I stuck by you, and you stuck by me. And then we turned one.
In that one year, there was so much that I Iearned, so much that I wouldn't know had I not taken the plunge. Being in a relationship is not a cage; it is freedom. Freedom from always having to look presentable so that you wouldn't scare away potential flings. Freedom from analyzing potential partners. Freedom from wondering whether that guy likes you enough to want your number. Freedom from wondering whether you made a fool of yourself in front of that guy. Because when you're in a relationship, even if you make a lame joke, or don't feel like wearing make-up after a long tiring day, or fart beside him, or wake up with horrible hair and that person happens to see it because you couldn't be bothered to look into the mirror before meeting him, that person will love you anyway.
Life with someone else isn't troublesome, it is lovely. You don't have to call him everyday, but you want to because you love the sound of his voice. You don't have to check your phone every other hour, but you want to, because he is constantly on your mind and you want to know whether you are on his, too. You don't have to meet him every few days, but you want to, because everytime you're with him, happiness fills your heart. And you don't have to consider him in every decision you make, but you still do anyway, because you want him to be happy, too. Life with someone else is a roller-coaster ride, but it is a pretty damn amazing ride.
Life is especially amazing with you, love. Happy first. (: