You have lived before you loved, and you will therefore live after you've loved.
Ever heard of breakup stories, which turned couples into friends, and into couples, and into friends, and finally strangers? I guess it is true that couples broken up can never find that friendship they had before. It just doesn't work that way. And it is such a sad sad thing. Because you know that what you had before was wonderful. The friendship before relationships are thought to be the best ones. At that point in time, you are best friends. You know little details of each other and even secrets you wouldn't even tell your boyfriends/girlfriends (at that point in time). And when the time comes, your relationship develop into something more. Something deep.
You start to think "I've never see you that way before". Kinda like the relationship between Ross and Rachel. It can start single sidedly, or you can both fall for each other at the same time. The thing is, it comes unexpectedly. You might be shocked, or happy. Or even want to run away. But deep down you know that once the relationship starts, there is no turning back. Turning back doesn't turn you into friends again, much less best friends. The start of the relationship between best friends, can be the best thing that has ever happened, or it could be the start of a ticking timebomb. A timebomb till the end of a wonderful friendship.
The subsequent phase after the breakup usually encompasses the ticking urge to ask, "how have you been?" or "have you been ok?" All in the hopes of hearing the words "i miss you too". Your mind starts to wonder into the possibilities of a reconciliation, but you hold back. It could be many reasons. A cheating Ex, an abusing relationship, or simply knowing that he is not the one. Whatever the reason may be, you start to realise that friendship was the best thing that you had with him, and to go back to where you once were, is a road ladden with unimaginable distance.
At the end of it all, is also the start of the emotional distance between two people. Attempts to bring these two people closer, from either side, is futile. Whether he did you wrong, or you did him wrong, it doesn't matter. The basic trust between two people has ceased to exist. What is left, is the remnants of past hurt, and memories.
There is no one way of overcoming a breakup. Different people deal with breakups differently. Some use mellow measures like distraction, while others can be quite extreme. Whichever the case, the journey is different, and the subsequent result will also be different.
In the process of healing, you meet new people. New eligible candidates you may want to date, or just eyecandy, or just you know, flirt and have fun with. But to find something more, something more substantial than 'just another guy', is a daunting task, and it better be. Who would want a relationship that comes by easy? Your eyes meet in a bar, and the next moment, you have your hands on his lap, and his hands are all over you. Where is the depth in that? You see a tall figure across the dancefloor. You squrim through the massive sea of dancing people, only to meet with his tall build, but deep inside you know is empty. There is no attachment in meetings of such nature. It usually ends when the music stops, when the highness from alchololic influence wears off, and when you get slapped awake by the harshness of reality, that he was 'just another guy' you met at the bar.
When you come back from all those wild nights, and weekly advantures, you come home, and wind up in bed thinking, is there all to it? The emptiness you experience within surges right up, and it creeps deep into your bones. This is when you must realise that the only way to overcome the pain and emptiness, is to be able to stand on your two feet again, on your own.
As the quote says, "You have lived before you loved, and you will therefore live after you've loved."
Love teaches wonderful lessons to those who are willing to learn. Such is the wonders of experience. You grow wiser and stronger with age, and so will your heart. It will never be an easy road to recovery, but the willingness to acknowledge the pain and regret will put you where you need to be, where you can finally stand up tall and strong, and tell the world that you can be happy. As for the friendship you had with the one person you want to cherish, there is no use crying over spilt milk, or rather, the train has passed. With every person whom exited your life, new ones will enter, and in this I assure you, that even if the person who came into your life is not 'like him', believe me, its because he is better.
You start to think "I've never see you that way before". Kinda like the relationship between Ross and Rachel. It can start single sidedly, or you can both fall for each other at the same time. The thing is, it comes unexpectedly. You might be shocked, or happy. Or even want to run away. But deep down you know that once the relationship starts, there is no turning back. Turning back doesn't turn you into friends again, much less best friends. The start of the relationship between best friends, can be the best thing that has ever happened, or it could be the start of a ticking timebomb. A timebomb till the end of a wonderful friendship.
The subsequent phase after the breakup usually encompasses the ticking urge to ask, "how have you been?" or "have you been ok?" All in the hopes of hearing the words "i miss you too". Your mind starts to wonder into the possibilities of a reconciliation, but you hold back. It could be many reasons. A cheating Ex, an abusing relationship, or simply knowing that he is not the one. Whatever the reason may be, you start to realise that friendship was the best thing that you had with him, and to go back to where you once were, is a road ladden with unimaginable distance.
At the end of it all, is also the start of the emotional distance between two people. Attempts to bring these two people closer, from either side, is futile. Whether he did you wrong, or you did him wrong, it doesn't matter. The basic trust between two people has ceased to exist. What is left, is the remnants of past hurt, and memories.
There is no one way of overcoming a breakup. Different people deal with breakups differently. Some use mellow measures like distraction, while others can be quite extreme. Whichever the case, the journey is different, and the subsequent result will also be different.
In the process of healing, you meet new people. New eligible candidates you may want to date, or just eyecandy, or just you know, flirt and have fun with. But to find something more, something more substantial than 'just another guy', is a daunting task, and it better be. Who would want a relationship that comes by easy? Your eyes meet in a bar, and the next moment, you have your hands on his lap, and his hands are all over you. Where is the depth in that? You see a tall figure across the dancefloor. You squrim through the massive sea of dancing people, only to meet with his tall build, but deep inside you know is empty. There is no attachment in meetings of such nature. It usually ends when the music stops, when the highness from alchololic influence wears off, and when you get slapped awake by the harshness of reality, that he was 'just another guy' you met at the bar.
When you come back from all those wild nights, and weekly advantures, you come home, and wind up in bed thinking, is there all to it? The emptiness you experience within surges right up, and it creeps deep into your bones. This is when you must realise that the only way to overcome the pain and emptiness, is to be able to stand on your two feet again, on your own.
As the quote says, "You have lived before you loved, and you will therefore live after you've loved."
Love teaches wonderful lessons to those who are willing to learn. Such is the wonders of experience. You grow wiser and stronger with age, and so will your heart. It will never be an easy road to recovery, but the willingness to acknowledge the pain and regret will put you where you need to be, where you can finally stand up tall and strong, and tell the world that you can be happy. As for the friendship you had with the one person you want to cherish, there is no use crying over spilt milk, or rather, the train has passed. With every person whom exited your life, new ones will enter, and in this I assure you, that even if the person who came into your life is not 'like him', believe me, its because he is better.