(no subject)

[cherrytwiggy]

Everything I let you see
is nothing that truly belongs to me
I keep this retainer to hold open the cavity in my chest
hoping someday
someone
can see past this bitter mess
Everything I push away
comes back again three-fold
Everything I have ever wanted
turns away
grows old
fades
Its so easy to pretend there’s something here
look so closely things begin to blur
and I see four eyes instead of two
yet they are all looking past me
I make it obvious
so painfully
I forgive you
I’m sorry
goodbye
story of my life
Trying to tear apart the first draft
rewrite every paragraph
hoping to find a fairytale
fingers cramping every time I look into his eyes
knowing I cannot write him out of the story just yet
bitter plotting
savage endings
a trilogy with no substance
The one thing that makes me numb
will kill me
make me stronger
put words into my mouth
and you’ll pretend
to listen