teenage lust melodrama
I need to stop being so fucking paranoid and down on myself, honestly.
/Shannon slaps self/ I cut today, after 6 days! GRR. And, ok, it was REALLY REALLY small and hardly bled, but thats not what i'm worked up about. I'm over the cutting part of today.
So I'm in my car, driving to practice, and I decide to call Jon, which is cool cause he gave me his number anyway, and he never called me. So we talked for awhile, till I almost got to school for practice and he told me to call him tommorow after 1, which is cool. And, ok, if he asked me to call him then I shouldn't be feeling all PARANOID. THEN WHY THE FUCK DO I?! I honestly piss myself off, I mean, I like him, and from what I can tell (from my meager knowledge of relationships) he likes me too. I dunno, I guess paranoia is a part of me, but I wish it weren't. I can't shake this feeling that he doesn't like me, or that i'm not good enough. And I tell myself over and over again that it's not true, and it just doesn't work. *sigh* Ya know, I mean, I haven't liked someone like this since I went out with Cory, and I really really like this giddy, butterfly in the stomach feeling, I just wish I could shake the damn paranoid feeling.
To do list
-Start trusting people(they aren't out to get me)
-Stop being so damned paranoid(They aren't out to get me)
-Let myself have some emotion...good emotion.
/Shannon slaps self/ I sound like a whiny-lust struck-teenager. Lord help us all.
"Maybe I'm scared to say I'm falling for you."
-Weezer
/Shannon slaps self/ I cut today, after 6 days! GRR. And, ok, it was REALLY REALLY small and hardly bled, but thats not what i'm worked up about. I'm over the cutting part of today.
So I'm in my car, driving to practice, and I decide to call Jon, which is cool cause he gave me his number anyway, and he never called me. So we talked for awhile, till I almost got to school for practice and he told me to call him tommorow after 1, which is cool. And, ok, if he asked me to call him then I shouldn't be feeling all PARANOID. THEN WHY THE FUCK DO I?! I honestly piss myself off, I mean, I like him, and from what I can tell (from my meager knowledge of relationships) he likes me too. I dunno, I guess paranoia is a part of me, but I wish it weren't. I can't shake this feeling that he doesn't like me, or that i'm not good enough. And I tell myself over and over again that it's not true, and it just doesn't work. *sigh* Ya know, I mean, I haven't liked someone like this since I went out with Cory, and I really really like this giddy, butterfly in the stomach feeling, I just wish I could shake the damn paranoid feeling.
To do list
-Start trusting people(they aren't out to get me)
-Stop being so damned paranoid(They aren't out to get me)
-Let myself have some emotion...good emotion.
/Shannon slaps self/ I sound like a whiny-lust struck-teenager. Lord help us all.
"Maybe I'm scared to say I'm falling for you."
-Weezer