oh, you know, just freaking OUT...
argh! academic stuff SCARES ME TO DEATH. in one of my TEE mock exams i had to go to the friggen emergency because i kept throwing up (actually it was the last time i threw up, weird :/), and waiting for a letter of offer is seriously no better.
so much stuff could go wrong!
i can deal with stress usually, i'm cool, i'm with it, but when it's academic/school/uni-related i just CAN'T DEAL WITH IT! i'm crazy to the point of obsessive on this issue. frankly, study has always taken up a VAST amount of my brain and i can't ever seem to relax because it's always there at the back of my mind taunting me, telling me i'm going to fail everything if i don't study 24/7 or if i don't constantly follow up progress on my application and just reminding me of things that go drastically wrong when you're not paying attention. blah i say.
actually, before today i was pretty fine with it. but the thing that weirdly tipped me over the edge was that i e-mailed the school of nursing yesterday to enquire when the letters of offers would be released. sure enough i had a reply in my uni inbox today with the subject RE: letters of offers - and they told me that i should know by the end of this month. THE END OF THIS MONTH! this somehow set me completely on edge and i can't seem to shake this sense of impending doom. that my application stuffed up somewhere and they won't even notice that i applied in the first place.
and then what do i do? go back to wank 211? after i though so hard about maybe giving nursing, my first pref in high school, my all? i'm just..... really freaking out about the whole ordeal. i know it's probably just nerves. and i'm so excited to finally be doing something i want for a career that i can't deal with the though of me getting rejected. i really can't...
louise needs some sleepytime and possibly a mallet to the head.
shouldn't have even ASKED about the letter of offer; having a date for it seems to triple the anxiety. *sticks fingers in ears and pretends there is no date*
went to the gym today. t'was good. worked on my legs. would not have a clue how to use the equipment if it wasn't for the ever-helpful and lovely superstar boyfriend.
oh, and i got my L's...... again. let's make it count this time.
- end transmission.
so much stuff could go wrong!
i can deal with stress usually, i'm cool, i'm with it, but when it's academic/school/uni-related i just CAN'T DEAL WITH IT! i'm crazy to the point of obsessive on this issue. frankly, study has always taken up a VAST amount of my brain and i can't ever seem to relax because it's always there at the back of my mind taunting me, telling me i'm going to fail everything if i don't study 24/7 or if i don't constantly follow up progress on my application and just reminding me of things that go drastically wrong when you're not paying attention. blah i say.
actually, before today i was pretty fine with it. but the thing that weirdly tipped me over the edge was that i e-mailed the school of nursing yesterday to enquire when the letters of offers would be released. sure enough i had a reply in my uni inbox today with the subject RE: letters of offers - and they told me that i should know by the end of this month. THE END OF THIS MONTH! this somehow set me completely on edge and i can't seem to shake this sense of impending doom. that my application stuffed up somewhere and they won't even notice that i applied in the first place.
and then what do i do? go back to wank 211? after i though so hard about maybe giving nursing, my first pref in high school, my all? i'm just..... really freaking out about the whole ordeal. i know it's probably just nerves. and i'm so excited to finally be doing something i want for a career that i can't deal with the though of me getting rejected. i really can't...
louise needs some sleepytime and possibly a mallet to the head.
shouldn't have even ASKED about the letter of offer; having a date for it seems to triple the anxiety. *sticks fingers in ears and pretends there is no date*
went to the gym today. t'was good. worked on my legs. would not have a clue how to use the equipment if it wasn't for the ever-helpful and lovely superstar boyfriend.
oh, and i got my L's...... again. let's make it count this time.
- end transmission.