(no subject)
OK I know this is super childish, selfish and really lame of me but but I always feel let down by my birthdays... I know you hear this every year but in all seriousness idk... it's just the selfish side of me...
I love doing things for others and when they're birthday comes around... I usually try to get involved somehow... Prime example... Last year for Kaleigh's 19th birthday I planned my whole road-trip so I would be home for her birthday and I planned on spending the whole day with her but I ended up with a fever and throwing up but I slept the whole day and sucked it up and went to dinner with her even though I felt crappy but totally hid it and for her 20th I helped Ashley plan a Boston get together and gave all her guest a ride there and usually I'm the first or one of the first to text/call/message/whatever for her and she used to be for me but last year I didn't get anything from her until... 430pm ish? and later I found out she had ashley come visit her for the weekend... she didn't even try to come see me... it was my birthday and I told everyone the thing I wanted most was to have my best friend there.
I dont do these things for praise or because I really expect anything back... but idk... i feel like no one cares and it's one sided...
So that leads me to this year... Everyone at work thought I was crazy because I'm going to take a tylenol pm soon and go to bed probably... they kept telling me i should go out at midnight and get "that" drink and blah super bowl blah blah... but idk that doesn't really matter i rather go out to breakfast :-) but that's not going to happen either... i'll be surprised if anything happens... other than what I planned... for myself
I know I've taught myself to get used to the idea that nothing ever just happens for me... If I want something I need to do it myself... especially if I want it done somewhat right
I know I'm skipping my Tuesday morning class... and I'm thinking about skipping my monday and having a me day... but idk... im kinda excited for that class... so i guess i may as well go
I love doing things for others and when they're birthday comes around... I usually try to get involved somehow... Prime example... Last year for Kaleigh's 19th birthday I planned my whole road-trip so I would be home for her birthday and I planned on spending the whole day with her but I ended up with a fever and throwing up but I slept the whole day and sucked it up and went to dinner with her even though I felt crappy but totally hid it and for her 20th I helped Ashley plan a Boston get together and gave all her guest a ride there and usually I'm the first or one of the first to text/call/message/whatever for her and she used to be for me but last year I didn't get anything from her until... 430pm ish? and later I found out she had ashley come visit her for the weekend... she didn't even try to come see me... it was my birthday and I told everyone the thing I wanted most was to have my best friend there.
I dont do these things for praise or because I really expect anything back... but idk... i feel like no one cares and it's one sided...
So that leads me to this year... Everyone at work thought I was crazy because I'm going to take a tylenol pm soon and go to bed probably... they kept telling me i should go out at midnight and get "that" drink and blah super bowl blah blah... but idk that doesn't really matter i rather go out to breakfast :-) but that's not going to happen either... i'll be surprised if anything happens... other than what I planned... for myself
I know I've taught myself to get used to the idea that nothing ever just happens for me... If I want something I need to do it myself... especially if I want it done somewhat right
I know I'm skipping my Tuesday morning class... and I'm thinking about skipping my monday and having a me day... but idk... im kinda excited for that class... so i guess i may as well go