Should I have children ?
For once I felt like making an entry that wasn't a fic. It's just that I got really scary/funny thoughts in my mind and I wondered if there was someone out there able and willing to put my fears at rest.
First, I should probably explain how those weird thoughts came to be. Due to some recent family news, I was thinking about babies which to be honest isn't an altogether new occurrence for me anyway. I was also thinking about yaoi like ever and at that point my mind wandered which is more often than not a very bad thing. You should also bear in mind that I got quite drunk on red wine with my honey-bunny last night celebrating Valentine's day. I had little sleep and I'm mildly hungover. That might explain that.
Anyways, out of nowhere I came to picture my teenager son, 16 years old or so (it's an imaginary son, I am yet without child) shyly and nervously confessing he was gay. There was a pause, very short and I clearly heard my answer in my mind's eye, delivered in a flippant tone I didn't know I could pull off. That sounded something like: "Really? Are you sure? That's weird, I didn't get any vibes from you. My gaydar must be off. Can I slash you?" -_-
The real me (not the mom!me living only in my head) giggled out loud for a while before getting stone cold. Seriously, talk about dysfunctional mothering!!! That's something to be cool about your child's homosexuality but pulling off something like that is begging to have the poor kid in therapy for years. Of course you'd say that was just my imagination working overdrive and that in real life, I would never have such a reaction. Well that's all nice and dandy but I'm not all that sure myself. So I began to wonder: should I even plan to have children when I have such an inkling that I'm gonna be a terribly irresponsible mother? That's depressing.
First, I should probably explain how those weird thoughts came to be. Due to some recent family news, I was thinking about babies which to be honest isn't an altogether new occurrence for me anyway. I was also thinking about yaoi like ever and at that point my mind wandered which is more often than not a very bad thing. You should also bear in mind that I got quite drunk on red wine with my honey-bunny last night celebrating Valentine's day. I had little sleep and I'm mildly hungover. That might explain that.
Anyways, out of nowhere I came to picture my teenager son, 16 years old or so (it's an imaginary son, I am yet without child) shyly and nervously confessing he was gay. There was a pause, very short and I clearly heard my answer in my mind's eye, delivered in a flippant tone I didn't know I could pull off. That sounded something like: "Really? Are you sure? That's weird, I didn't get any vibes from you. My gaydar must be off. Can I slash you?" -_-
The real me (not the mom!me living only in my head) giggled out loud for a while before getting stone cold. Seriously, talk about dysfunctional mothering!!! That's something to be cool about your child's homosexuality but pulling off something like that is begging to have the poor kid in therapy for years. Of course you'd say that was just my imagination working overdrive and that in real life, I would never have such a reaction. Well that's all nice and dandy but I'm not all that sure myself. So I began to wonder: should I even plan to have children when I have such an inkling that I'm gonna be a terribly irresponsible mother? That's depressing.