=(
So I'm at work right now( I sit behind a desk at one of the dorms at school) and I'm lonely and like always no one is around none of the students try and talk to me when I try to make conversation because they have better things to do then talk to me. I ask a friend if she wants to come over and hang out. (She asked me earlier if I wanted to hang out with her but I had school stuff to do.) And she said she's "too lazy."
Really? That's an answer. Too lazy to make a 2, maybe 3 minute drive on the other side of campus to see me because you're "too lazy"? Does that make any sense to anyone else or am I over reacting?
Now I'm crying and I'm messing up my makeup and I was going to order food but I guess I won't now because my stomach to hurt.
I'm just so god damn lonely. It's not just today, I felt so lonely for the past few months. And I've been in this funk of "I suck. Everything I do sucks. I let people down, all I ever do is disappoint people. I never do anything right. " Normally when I get like this it last a day or two but lately it's been off and on since August and now I've been like this since Tuesday night. And with expection of last night I've cried everynight since Tuesday.
I can't focus on anything. Nothing. I haven't updated or written anything in months. I'm tired all the time. I'm fed up with everything. I'm a horrible LJ friend, I've barely been commenting on anyone's journal the past month. My grades are awful this year. Awful for me anyway. I'm used to making A's and B's but this semester it's B's, C's, and D's. I have had only several A's all semester.
I don't know what's going on with me. This year has just been shit and I'm just ready for a new year. I just want things to get better. I've been wanting this to get better since....May? June? And they haven't. They just HAVEN'T.
And I really need to stop crying now or else people are going to wonder what's going on.
Really? That's an answer. Too lazy to make a 2, maybe 3 minute drive on the other side of campus to see me because you're "too lazy"? Does that make any sense to anyone else or am I over reacting?
Now I'm crying and I'm messing up my makeup and I was going to order food but I guess I won't now because my stomach to hurt.
I'm just so god damn lonely. It's not just today, I felt so lonely for the past few months. And I've been in this funk of "I suck. Everything I do sucks. I let people down, all I ever do is disappoint people. I never do anything right. " Normally when I get like this it last a day or two but lately it's been off and on since August and now I've been like this since Tuesday night. And with expection of last night I've cried everynight since Tuesday.
I can't focus on anything. Nothing. I haven't updated or written anything in months. I'm tired all the time. I'm fed up with everything. I'm a horrible LJ friend, I've barely been commenting on anyone's journal the past month. My grades are awful this year. Awful for me anyway. I'm used to making A's and B's but this semester it's B's, C's, and D's. I have had only several A's all semester.
I don't know what's going on with me. This year has just been shit and I'm just ready for a new year. I just want things to get better. I've been wanting this to get better since....May? June? And they haven't. They just HAVEN'T.
And I really need to stop crying now or else people are going to wonder what's going on.