(no subject)
lately i've been feeling overly sentimental and sappy. i didn't particularly notice this recent rash of retard until i was knee deep in it. originally i just pinpointed it to me squeezing out a couple tears when i watched MTV’s made, and me getting slightly teary eyed over the prospect of my aunt buying diet coke for the family get together even though she knows I am the only one who drinks it. however, it is far worse than i had initially bargained for.
fact: did you know that when the body is cremated it is sometimes embalmed? i guess they do that to make the dead broad or dude get stiff. and we're not talking about dead bodies with sweatpants boners and potential necrophiliacs, we're talking about making the entire corpse lay flat, because otherwise when you slide that body in the oven, (which burns up to an impressive 680 degrees, or something) the dead guy comes to a boil and sits straight up! kind of like, HALLELUJAH it's fucking hot in this joint! break me outta here, let's bake a pizza in this thing instead! or something.
what freaks me out: is the fact that if i was working at one of those places, i would probably assume i had killed the second coming of christ or a vampire. either would be cool, i think.
fact: did you know that when the body is cremated it is sometimes embalmed? i guess they do that to make the dead broad or dude get stiff. and we're not talking about dead bodies with sweatpants boners and potential necrophiliacs, we're talking about making the entire corpse lay flat, because otherwise when you slide that body in the oven, (which burns up to an impressive 680 degrees, or something) the dead guy comes to a boil and sits straight up! kind of like, HALLELUJAH it's fucking hot in this joint! break me outta here, let's bake a pizza in this thing instead! or something.
what freaks me out: is the fact that if i was working at one of those places, i would probably assume i had killed the second coming of christ or a vampire. either would be cool, i think.