(no subject)
just because you're paranoid
dont mean theyre not after you.
im staying with my uncle and i only just got to look at my journal. i missed two weeks of school i think. i like my uncle, he listens to black sabbath and he lets me drink every day. my dad was an only child and apart from me and my brother he has no family theyre all dead. my mum has seven brothers and sisters and her family is realy fucked up. her dad was an alcoholic to and he died because of it. the uncle that i like best is a drug addict. he has no money and i like to be with him, just sitting in silence with him is comfortable. he has a chainsaw by his bed, he showed me. he was raped when he was little. i like the uncle im staying with to. he started to notice that i dont eat and he tried to make me, i didnt like it. he took me to see the batman movie, it was alright. when we walked home i noticed that he was holding my hand.
i speak, to hear, my voice.
i felt bad because i told kadan i'd go to his after school but i didnt i went to maths and then i asked for a note to say im sick and then i walked to the station and called steve and when i got there he was waiting and i told him i cant see you for a while because i have to stay with my uncle and i told him i was sad because of it and he told me it was okay. i kept the note that says im sick. i told him i was going to kill myself and he said thats okay and he made me promise to call him just before i kill myself and then he will kill himself as well. i think if i died i'd leave my guitar to phil because he was always saying how beautiful it was and i'd only want someone like him to ever play on it. i'd leave everything of mine thats black to zara, i have more of that now. i'd leave all my fhm's for katie. i'd give anna my conversers even though they wouldnt fit, i know she likes them. she wrote my name nine times in one entry of her journal.
you cant fire me because i quit
throw me in the fire, and i wont throw a fit
i always remembered anna as pretty and when i saw her she was prettier. is she pretty on the inside is she pretty from the back. i want to see her when i get back home but i never ever want to get back home. i'd leave johnny my big box of sparklers because he loves fire. last time i saw him his hair was so matted it was nearly in dreadlocks, and he was smiling and talking all the time like he always is. he says it is okay to doubt everything, and he says im special because im not just another brick in the wall and when he said it i thought of a song by pink floyd. and once i asked him why are you always talking and he said to many things are unsaid. he says feeling bad is against his religion and he is scared of falling asleep in case he never wakes up. once we missed a day of school and spent it sitting together in a skip, smoking and talking. it is stealing if you take something out of a skip. amy told me when we took some cardboard boxes out of one for a fire we had in someones garden.
sometimes i like to shut my eyes realy tight and watch all the shapes and colours.
once me and katie where watching tv and she was sitting next to me and she started moving her hand up my leg and i didnt realy want her to so i put my hand on hers to stop her moving it any further and she held my hand. i liked that because i like katie's hands. she has red curly hair. once we sat on a bench in school and drank vodka and ribena. i think i had a crush on her even though i didnt realy like it when she sat close and just stared into my eyes i felt akward. but i think she did that to a lot of people, some people were scared of her.
the best way to get hold of syringes is to buy insulin and then ask for syringes with it and they think you are diabetic.
my mum was teasing me about my black eye. i havent had one since i was little when another kid hit me. when i was nine i tried to kill myself with painkillers but i didnt take enough, no-one knows about it. a few weeks ago i was looking for painkillers in my dads room to kill myself with and i didnt find any. he has 5 bottles of liquer under his bed. i would never drink from them because i know how much he needs them, i only ever steal drink from my mum. she says bad things about my dad that i dont like to hear. she wants to send him back to rehab to make him better but i dont think theres anything wrong with him. im worried because my english teacher said theyd get someone to talk to me about my black eye and i dont want to tell them. when i went to school in the morning it looked okay but i could feel it getting worse and i knew it was bad when kadan kept asking if i was okay. i dont want to go back to school.
you can swallow ice to make yourself less hungry.
i hate eating on front of people and i hate watching people eat. my mum always gets angry and she says why dont you eat with us at the table like normal people
beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me
i want to jump this isnt right she laughs about it.
i think im happy staying with my uncle. he gave me some black vodka and it tastes just like normal vodka. i had to speak to my mum though, and i didnt like it. she told me she was out of work because of me and she had to sell her house and buy a cheaper one and her car was being taken away. i think shes lying because shes told me that before. and she always says its because of me. i have decided that i that money. zaras real name is zara-jade. i dont like ultraviolet lights for some reason.
bruise violet bruise violet
i was thinking about kurt and courtney and this is what i have decided that
kurt was the gifted one and even though there are things about courtney that i think are cool i also think that she played tricks on his mind. but i like that she made him happy sometimes.
all in all your just another brick in the wall
johnny has a black t-shirt that says on the front do not disturb and on the back it says already disturbed. i want to die young, with steve. we should inject ourseleves with to much heroin together, i'd like that. i got myself a vampirefreaks thing on the internet
http://vampirefreaks.com/profile.php?user=cherrybomb669
dont mean theyre not after you.
im staying with my uncle and i only just got to look at my journal. i missed two weeks of school i think. i like my uncle, he listens to black sabbath and he lets me drink every day. my dad was an only child and apart from me and my brother he has no family theyre all dead. my mum has seven brothers and sisters and her family is realy fucked up. her dad was an alcoholic to and he died because of it. the uncle that i like best is a drug addict. he has no money and i like to be with him, just sitting in silence with him is comfortable. he has a chainsaw by his bed, he showed me. he was raped when he was little. i like the uncle im staying with to. he started to notice that i dont eat and he tried to make me, i didnt like it. he took me to see the batman movie, it was alright. when we walked home i noticed that he was holding my hand.
i speak, to hear, my voice.
i felt bad because i told kadan i'd go to his after school but i didnt i went to maths and then i asked for a note to say im sick and then i walked to the station and called steve and when i got there he was waiting and i told him i cant see you for a while because i have to stay with my uncle and i told him i was sad because of it and he told me it was okay. i kept the note that says im sick. i told him i was going to kill myself and he said thats okay and he made me promise to call him just before i kill myself and then he will kill himself as well. i think if i died i'd leave my guitar to phil because he was always saying how beautiful it was and i'd only want someone like him to ever play on it. i'd leave everything of mine thats black to zara, i have more of that now. i'd leave all my fhm's for katie. i'd give anna my conversers even though they wouldnt fit, i know she likes them. she wrote my name nine times in one entry of her journal.
you cant fire me because i quit
throw me in the fire, and i wont throw a fit
i always remembered anna as pretty and when i saw her she was prettier. is she pretty on the inside is she pretty from the back. i want to see her when i get back home but i never ever want to get back home. i'd leave johnny my big box of sparklers because he loves fire. last time i saw him his hair was so matted it was nearly in dreadlocks, and he was smiling and talking all the time like he always is. he says it is okay to doubt everything, and he says im special because im not just another brick in the wall and when he said it i thought of a song by pink floyd. and once i asked him why are you always talking and he said to many things are unsaid. he says feeling bad is against his religion and he is scared of falling asleep in case he never wakes up. once we missed a day of school and spent it sitting together in a skip, smoking and talking. it is stealing if you take something out of a skip. amy told me when we took some cardboard boxes out of one for a fire we had in someones garden.
sometimes i like to shut my eyes realy tight and watch all the shapes and colours.
once me and katie where watching tv and she was sitting next to me and she started moving her hand up my leg and i didnt realy want her to so i put my hand on hers to stop her moving it any further and she held my hand. i liked that because i like katie's hands. she has red curly hair. once we sat on a bench in school and drank vodka and ribena. i think i had a crush on her even though i didnt realy like it when she sat close and just stared into my eyes i felt akward. but i think she did that to a lot of people, some people were scared of her.
the best way to get hold of syringes is to buy insulin and then ask for syringes with it and they think you are diabetic.
my mum was teasing me about my black eye. i havent had one since i was little when another kid hit me. when i was nine i tried to kill myself with painkillers but i didnt take enough, no-one knows about it. a few weeks ago i was looking for painkillers in my dads room to kill myself with and i didnt find any. he has 5 bottles of liquer under his bed. i would never drink from them because i know how much he needs them, i only ever steal drink from my mum. she says bad things about my dad that i dont like to hear. she wants to send him back to rehab to make him better but i dont think theres anything wrong with him. im worried because my english teacher said theyd get someone to talk to me about my black eye and i dont want to tell them. when i went to school in the morning it looked okay but i could feel it getting worse and i knew it was bad when kadan kept asking if i was okay. i dont want to go back to school.
you can swallow ice to make yourself less hungry.
i hate eating on front of people and i hate watching people eat. my mum always gets angry and she says why dont you eat with us at the table like normal people
beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me beat me out of me
i want to jump this isnt right she laughs about it.
i think im happy staying with my uncle. he gave me some black vodka and it tastes just like normal vodka. i had to speak to my mum though, and i didnt like it. she told me she was out of work because of me and she had to sell her house and buy a cheaper one and her car was being taken away. i think shes lying because shes told me that before. and she always says its because of me. i have decided that i that money. zaras real name is zara-jade. i dont like ultraviolet lights for some reason.
bruise violet bruise violet
i was thinking about kurt and courtney and this is what i have decided that
kurt was the gifted one and even though there are things about courtney that i think are cool i also think that she played tricks on his mind. but i like that she made him happy sometimes.
all in all your just another brick in the wall
johnny has a black t-shirt that says on the front do not disturb and on the back it says already disturbed. i want to die young, with steve. we should inject ourseleves with to much heroin together, i'd like that. i got myself a vampirefreaks thing on the internet
http://vampirefreaks.com/profile.php?user=cherrybomb669