(no subject)
fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck. i hate myself. i fucking hate myself. so im finally talking to ryan again...and we were all awesome like usual. but now, fuck i dont know. we are talking on the comp. right now and we have nothing to say to each other. nothing.nothing.nothing. and its like we want to talk but then we dont. i swear if i fuck this up like usual then im going to fucking...i dont know. do something. i fucking hate myself. goddamnit now im crying. fuck fuck fuck fuck i never cry.
he just said bye and then logged off. and got on his other name and he isnt saying anything. i fucking swear im going to...damnit i dont even know. im such a fucking wimp. goddamnit!!!!