(no subject)
i can't sleep, my mom gave me sleeping pills but they dont work for very long. i keep crying, i guess because... of what happened and how i didnt get to ask anything and i really dont know much, and i feel like i never will.
i believed he loved me, because he told me so many times he did, but i guess he lied?
i mean its not fair because i have stuff sitting in my driveway that can prove i did no wrong, but... he will never see that.
maybe he was mad because of where he was, and he blamed it all on me so he gave up. maybe he didnt give up, i dont even know if hes home, i just DONT KNOW. and thats whats killing me, seriously.
i mean for 8 months i LOVED him more than ANYTHING and then just all of a sudden its over, i mean i honestly didnt think we were about to break up, and i know i am making myself look weak because he will more than likely read this, but its just how i feel.
i guess he just wanted me to be another one of the girls that he TORE THEIR HEART IN PIECES, just another one on his list, but i dont want to be another one on his list, because i KNOW he was INLOVE with me, and i know he wasnt in love with many other people, i just dont know what to do or how to feel.
all i do is cry, because i never thought HE would be the one to hurt me SO much. i guess i had it coming, after all, he did tell me what he did to other girls.
i mean i shared stuff with him that no one knows, and i did things with him that i have never done, for ONCE i was COMPLETELY comfortable with someone, and now they are... gone.
i believed he loved me, because he told me so many times he did, but i guess he lied?
i mean its not fair because i have stuff sitting in my driveway that can prove i did no wrong, but... he will never see that.
maybe he was mad because of where he was, and he blamed it all on me so he gave up. maybe he didnt give up, i dont even know if hes home, i just DONT KNOW. and thats whats killing me, seriously.
i mean for 8 months i LOVED him more than ANYTHING and then just all of a sudden its over, i mean i honestly didnt think we were about to break up, and i know i am making myself look weak because he will more than likely read this, but its just how i feel.
i guess he just wanted me to be another one of the girls that he TORE THEIR HEART IN PIECES, just another one on his list, but i dont want to be another one on his list, because i KNOW he was INLOVE with me, and i know he wasnt in love with many other people, i just dont know what to do or how to feel.
all i do is cry, because i never thought HE would be the one to hurt me SO much. i guess i had it coming, after all, he did tell me what he did to other girls.
i mean i shared stuff with him that no one knows, and i did things with him that i have never done, for ONCE i was COMPLETELY comfortable with someone, and now they are... gone.