(no subject)
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away, you'd give anything up to make them feel the same? Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart, but you don't know what to say & you don't know where to start? That's it. I think I'm smitten. lol I've had crushed before but this is different. I love the way he makes me feel, I love the way he makes me laugh and I love who he is as a person. I wouldn't change anything, which is odd for me because there's usually one thing I can find in any person that I don't like if I look hard enough. I don't know if it's that he is truly flawless or if it's simply that I like him so much that he seems flawless to me. When we talk, I usually have a smile on my face. He's the sweetest person there is and he chooses to talk to me until 6 in the morning. Is he crazy? Have you ever found the one you dreamed of all your life, do just about anything to look into their eyes? Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to, only to find that one won't give their heart to you? I can't scream out to everyone everything about him, but I don't mind. I know what I feel, how I feel and I know he's there for me. Maybe things aren't exactly the way I would like, but things like this do take time. I save conversations, I get on my phone and look at old text messages, and I think about him all day long. Is this normal? Have you ever needed something so bad you can't sleep at night? Have you ever tried to find the words but they just don't come out? Have you ever? I honestly don't recall crushes being like this. My more recent dilemma was that if I found a guy was interested in me, I wasn't interested in him. It was just the way my luck was. They just didn't strike me as interesting. I was seriously considering not talking to any more guys. I've known this one for quite sometime, but I never could tell him until a month ago how I felt and things are going good so far. Some of my friends notice I'm happier than I used to be, some of them see through my acting cool and know how I feel and some just have no idea.
So on to other things before I annoy people lol...I finally got my results. I'm cancer free & happy about it. I did get a nice doctors bill that I am going to fight having to pay since I didn't even know they were going to do a second opinion and so on. I just can't afford it, really. My new job...sucks. I don't know what to say. I don't know if it's secure so I still haven't quit my other job which could lead to more problems but I'm working my ass off to make this new job secure. I just don't know what's so wrong with me. My family is going crazy...lol but that's expected. I wish I could go into more detail than this right now but oh well. I'm moving next week, so don't expect to hear from me too soon. That's really it.