She's my best friend and I feel bad
Nothing went wrong it's just she really is my best friend and I'm glad, but I feel bad when I remember the times I was jealous of her. Also because I based one my characters on her. About three weeks ago Bethany told me Erika told her she basically doesn't want her at her wedding. Of course she was hurt and upset. Now that Erika is married she sent messages asking me and Bethany to look at her wedding pictures. I didn't say anything to Erika about them because I kind of don't care and because we haven't talked. But Bethany sent her message telling her that she was mad at her for making it clear she didn't want her there and how she just wasn't being a good friend. She also asked her to not be in her wedding. They went back and forth and Bethany told me that I was the only one out of that group that has stayed friends with her and hasn't screwed her over. I told her she was a good friend to me too and I didn't expect us to be friends for this long, but what she doesn't know is I used to be (and still a little bit) jealous of her. It wasn't because she had a boyfriend, or because she's engaged. After Josh broke up with me he would flirt with Bethany right in front of me. It wasn't just him it was a lot of guys. They all gravitate to her and don't see me. She stayed away from Josh because he wasn't her type and because she's my best friend. She turns other guys away because, well she's engaged. It's not her fault, it's just the way she looks and the way she carries herself. I know that's why they see her and not me. But just with this whole thing with her and Erika, and her having me to talk to about it, just made me feel bad that I was always jealous of her. I never told her and don't plan on it. I don't think she'd get mad but I think she might feel bad, and I don't want her to, because she doesn't mean it. You know how some girls have friends they can't trust to have around their boyfriends because they steal 'em? Well for me and Bethany it's the other way around. I'll never really want my boyfriends to meet Bethany because I'll always feel they'll like her better than me. That's sad because you want your friends to meet your boyfriend. I guess the good thing is I don't have one right now anyway and don't have to worry about it. But when the time comes I might worry about it.