(no subject)
so he called me. he finally called and it wasn't good. it wasn't what i had been hoping for these past two months. it wasn't him saying he made a mistake, and he wants to come back and make everything better...i knew that phone call was never going to come. it was, however, generic and all "how's the weather?". the lack of emotion in his voice was so obvious it was like being punched in the stomach repeatedly for 20 minutes.
i was okay these past two months. i was doing fine, i had Andy, and i have the situation with Ricky, and things were good. it sucked to think about him, but i was actually moving on. i saw the light at the end of the tunnel, and i was almost fucking there. i hate that a fucking phone call can just knock the wind right out of you. i don't want to sit around and feel sorry for myself and think about what we had, and how it's over. i hate that part. before today, his laugh was a distant memory that i was holding onto and now it's just a scab ripped open.
on top of everything else, i haven't slept all day because i was doing my mother a favor by waiting on the floor guy to come, and around noon i was like fuck it, i called her and told her i was going to bed. i finally start dozing off, and the asshole calls and he's all "will you be around between 1pm and 3pm?" so i said yeah, sure. now i have three more fucking hours to wait on this asshole. i'm going to get four hours of sleep tonight before i have to be at Melanie's. this whole day has turned into one giant shit-fest. at least i can look forward to PK's tonight with my girls, Big D, and Lunchbox (aka my tiny dancer)
i was okay these past two months. i was doing fine, i had Andy, and i have the situation with Ricky, and things were good. it sucked to think about him, but i was actually moving on. i saw the light at the end of the tunnel, and i was almost fucking there. i hate that a fucking phone call can just knock the wind right out of you. i don't want to sit around and feel sorry for myself and think about what we had, and how it's over. i hate that part. before today, his laugh was a distant memory that i was holding onto and now it's just a scab ripped open.
on top of everything else, i haven't slept all day because i was doing my mother a favor by waiting on the floor guy to come, and around noon i was like fuck it, i called her and told her i was going to bed. i finally start dozing off, and the asshole calls and he's all "will you be around between 1pm and 3pm?" so i said yeah, sure. now i have three more fucking hours to wait on this asshole. i'm going to get four hours of sleep tonight before i have to be at Melanie's. this whole day has turned into one giant shit-fest. at least i can look forward to PK's tonight with my girls, Big D, and Lunchbox (aka my tiny dancer)