Unsure...........
How did I get to this point? How did I let myself get here? I can't get a grip on all of this, I don't even know why I don't feel right ALL the time. I can't put my finger on it and how are you supposed to solve a problem when you don't know what's causing it? I don't feel like I get excited about anything, I'm just in this state of mind all the time. I've been on the brink of crying for the past few days. This mental fogginess and feeling tired all the time and just generally "out of it" all the time is not nearly as bad as not being to concentrate on anything and having panic attacks and not being able to sleep through the whole night. It's better, tons better but I'm still not myself. I don't feel like I did prior to this whole mess that happened in November. I just feel like I'm a burden. I can just imagine how sick everyone must be of me, of listening to me.....I know I'm pretty sick of me. I don't feel like I have the energy I normally would or the mental clarity. Like everyone says I'm pretty positive that there is nothing physiologically wrong with me and that this is "all in my head". AND I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm reaching the end of my rapidly fraying rope and hanging myself with it is looking mighty attractive right now. I can't figure it out...I can't make myself feel better....I'm trying so much not to be melodramatic about the whole thing but I'm running out of ideas. Everyday this just takes another piece out of me...eating away at me and I'm just letting it happen. I don't want to feed this again by going to doctors, but I can do it on my own. I'm really really tired of this