Mid week clarity....and an adventure
I spent a few days in Phoenix, wanting to get away from Flagstaff for a few days before I start to settle back into the 40 hour work week again and continue to be a little confused constantly about my life. Some big things happened in the 3 days I was in Phoenix. I came to a realization about two very big things in my life...my relationship and my career.
There was something that happened or didn't happen while I was in Phoenix...and I dont' feel I need to go into it, the details aren't important, the important thing is the conclusion that I came to after these chain of events occured. I think Tanner and I came to a new level in our relationship and it really does feel great. I think that one of the very things that I loved most about him in the very beginning was something that was really straining our relationship. That thing being one of the biggest differences in our personality...I love the unexpected, spontaneity and all things related....he likes security and know what to expect. Thing is neither of us was compromising for the other one. Basically we agreed on "I'll let him be a hermit as long as he goes out with my from time to time" AND also that it's okay with him for me to feed that side of me that is so different from him...whether it be appeased by taking off to Phx for the weekend or....the next big realization, turning my life inside out.
I came to the conclusion that I am not going to get anywhere with figuring out what I want to do with my life by working at a job that is for the money. I don't want to say what it is I'm planning, because chances are it's going to take a couple months for it to work out if it is going to work out....lots of things to consider, but I can't really do anything right now. I'm just playing the waiting game. I really really really REALLY hope this works out for me, because I need to do this, I need to experience what my life would be like if I do this. And I need to get my life on some track or at least rule out something...whatever the case may be. Right now, all I know is that this is what I want...and I'm going to do my best to get it.
And lastly, my adventure on the way home. I am only about 1/2 an hour out of Phoenix and one of my back tires starts shaking like crazy, so I slow down and then *boom*, back tire blows out. I'm fishtailing on the highway, hanging on to the steering wheel...it was scary. I made it to the side of the road. I sat on the guard rail for a minute cause my heart was racing...and after that, I got up, pulled the spare tire and jack out of the trunk and changed my tire. So self sufficient :) I'm glad I learned to change my tire last year :) If you don't know how...you need to learn, it's a good thing to know.
There was something that happened or didn't happen while I was in Phoenix...and I dont' feel I need to go into it, the details aren't important, the important thing is the conclusion that I came to after these chain of events occured. I think Tanner and I came to a new level in our relationship and it really does feel great. I think that one of the very things that I loved most about him in the very beginning was something that was really straining our relationship. That thing being one of the biggest differences in our personality...I love the unexpected, spontaneity and all things related....he likes security and know what to expect. Thing is neither of us was compromising for the other one. Basically we agreed on "I'll let him be a hermit as long as he goes out with my from time to time" AND also that it's okay with him for me to feed that side of me that is so different from him...whether it be appeased by taking off to Phx for the weekend or....the next big realization, turning my life inside out.
I came to the conclusion that I am not going to get anywhere with figuring out what I want to do with my life by working at a job that is for the money. I don't want to say what it is I'm planning, because chances are it's going to take a couple months for it to work out if it is going to work out....lots of things to consider, but I can't really do anything right now. I'm just playing the waiting game. I really really really REALLY hope this works out for me, because I need to do this, I need to experience what my life would be like if I do this. And I need to get my life on some track or at least rule out something...whatever the case may be. Right now, all I know is that this is what I want...and I'm going to do my best to get it.
And lastly, my adventure on the way home. I am only about 1/2 an hour out of Phoenix and one of my back tires starts shaking like crazy, so I slow down and then *boom*, back tire blows out. I'm fishtailing on the highway, hanging on to the steering wheel...it was scary. I made it to the side of the road. I sat on the guard rail for a minute cause my heart was racing...and after that, I got up, pulled the spare tire and jack out of the trunk and changed my tire. So self sufficient :) I'm glad I learned to change my tire last year :) If you don't know how...you need to learn, it's a good thing to know.