Thoughts

[cherry_girl03]

Do you every have one of those days where you just think about everything and you just cant stop! I have had one of those days and it sucks! Ive stayed in my room all day and just thought about life and what i want out of it and is life really gonna turn out the way that i hope it is?!? I am 18 years old so does that mean that i really dont know what i want, or does it mean that i am just thinking of what i want right now! Im in love but am i sure its gonna last... yeah i hope it does but no one knows! I hate being away from him and i hate talking to him on the phone sometimes bc the only thing that i wanna do is be by his side and have him look at me in the middle of a convo with one of his friends and just give me that look.. the look where you know he loves you and you know that your the only thing he thinks about! But what if he cheats on you and he still gives you that look.. does it mean that he was just having sex with the girl or does he think he is with the wrong girl! But than he does everything right and tells you he loves you and makes sure that you know it! He went and bought a cingular phone so i can talk to him whenever i need him and now i can check up on him ( not that i would ever do that )! I still trust him and i hate that some people dont belive in me and in the decision that i am making! I want to go back and make everything right! I want to be by his side cause than i know its the right thing but when im away it scares me so bad... i just lay in my bed talking to him or talking to friends and wishing that he was with me and wishing that got to spend the days with him! We are like little kids when we are together! I know he loves me for me and i know that he wants to be with me.. but sometimes i feel like he just wants to be with me bc im the thing thats always been there and im the girl that hes never been able to push away but at the same time im the good girl the one that looks after him and the one that takes care of him! God non of this is making sense and im sry!!

i hope that you do not take offense to this but i dont know how else to say anything!! I love you baby!!