(no subject)
ok so i havent even looked at this thing in forever. courtney asked for an update so here it is.
we havent had school in 2 weeks thanks to hurricane wilma. the first week started out bad bc i didnt have any human contact other then my parents. then i finally got out of the house. finally saw richie. had a really fun day. actually got to sleep out at jackies. and everything was awesome. went canoeing. got drunk off of really good red wine with richie and jerry. made amens with jerry. took care of a tiny little kitten named gizmo. almost watched its death. but save it with jackie and courtney. ate a lot of chinses food with richie.and shit like that.
but then the call finally came. magnolia was reopening. so since last sat ive been working everyday. today i finally had a day off but of course we had a meeting and i had to wake up at 8am anyways. so my second week was spent working. the only person that ive seen outside of work is richie and even that was only like twice. we saw saw 2 which by the way was awesome and a lot better then the first one.
so yeah. basically my life sucks right now. ive been thinking about a million things and i feel lost with everything. i feel like i have so much to do and so many decisions to make but im like too stupid or something to figure shit out. and its literally with every aspect of my life. ive also come to the conclusion that i hate people.. even tho ive always felt that way.. i really feel it now. right now the only person that i feel like they actually give a damn about me is richie. and him and the whole deciding on a college is sucking right now. hes the only reason why id want to stay here and obviously one reason to stay and about a million reasons to leave seems easy but he is more important to me then those million reasons to leave so im stuck and like its a relationship so anything can happen and not knowing whats going to happen makes it harder. and yeah im lost and confused. obviously. so yeah thats just one of the many things that are bothering me right now.
but anyways.. to leave off on a good note.. richie finally said what ive been waiting to hear for the loooongest time. i really didnt think it would happen. and even tho i doubt he'll ever say it again.. its ok bc he said it once and i didnt even expect that much. next thursday(nov10.05) will be our 18 months.. exactly a year and a half <33