Fallen Angel 1/1
Title: Fallen Angel
Author: cherry916
Beta: moviegeek03
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: This is in no way true. Nope notta none. though I wish it was
Warnings: Schmoop, angst, character death (not the boys)
Summary: Jensen and Jared go to be with Jensen's Dad in his hour of need and Jared comes to some realizations.
A/N: After ten years it feels like I finally finished this little piece. Sorry it took so long writer's block sucks but I really like how this one turned out and would love any and all feedback. This is part of my Poison!Verse all previous installments can be found here. It is preferred you read them first.
But you know you got
to stick to your guns
when it all comes down
'Cause sometimes you can't choose
It's like heads they win
tails you're gonna lose
“Mom?”
Jared took a swift intake of breath and was immediately alert and up to stand next to his boyfriend to offer support. Jared knows that Jensen’s parents are a touchy subject for him.
“Mom how did you get this number?” Jensen questioned or more like demanded. First of all she interrupted sex and that’s just something you don’t do man. Second of all his Mom hasn’t talked to him in years. Jensen didn’t even know if she knew where he lived much less his phone number.
When he felt Jared’s hand rest on his shoulder he wouldn’t admit it aloud-cause hey he has a reputation to keep up-but it calmed him down enough to take a deep breath and think clearly.
“Jensen my dear I hope you’re doing well?”
Jensen gritted his teeth and took a deep breath to keep from saying yeah no thanks to you he didn’t need to get in another arguing match with his mom.
“Cut the crap Mom why did you call me? For money again? To set me up with more girls?” Jensen angrily listed. This wasn’t the first time his Mom had called acting like she was worried about Jensen but really she needed money in her pockets to waste or trying to set him up with countless girls. It was always the same with her.
Jared squeezed Jensen shoulder in warning. To let him know he was losing it again.
“I see living on your own hasn’t helped your manners much. No, if you really want to know your father’s sick. They don’t think he’s going to make it and I was just calling you to let you know. You know where I’ll be I just hope you make the right choice son cause God knows you fucked it up in the past. Goodbye Jensen.”
Then she hung up leaving Jensen a mix of emotions.
Jensen was still tightly clinging to the phone even after she hung up. So many emotions were going through his head anger, guilt, sadness, fear. It was beginning to become too much to handle that’s why he let Jared pry the phone from his hands and lead him to the couch to sit down.
Jared lead Jensen to the living room sitting him on the couch, he quickly ran to the kitchen and filled a glass of water for him.
He handed Jensen the glass and watched as he downed it on one go. Jared sat next to him waiting silently for Jensen to tell him what was up.
“That was my mom she said my dad’s sick and he might not make it.” Jensen whispered brokenly.
Jared gasped in shock and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Baby,” Jared whispered his voice broken as well. “I’m sorry.”
Jensen sniffed miserably fighting back tears that were trying to make themselves known. He wished he could just outright hate them. It would make everything easier so that he wouldn’t get this emotional over them. God why can’t I just hate them?
“Are you going to go see him?” Jared asked quietly while rubbing soothing circles in his boyfriends back.
“I have to he’s my dad. I haven’t seen him in years and-” Jensen’s voice cracked and he couldn’t finish that last sentence. And I don’t want him to die thinking I hate him. I forgave him a long time ago.
“It’s alright you don’t have to finish. So when will you be leaving?” Jared asked curiously.
“Tomorrow but baby will you come with me, please?” Jensen pleaded.
“Of course I will.” Jared said softly. He then brought his hand to the back of Jensen’s head and pulled him in for a comforting kiss. Soon all thoughts of sex were forgotten and Jared and Jensen soon made arrangements to fly to Dallas to see Jensen’s dad.
Soon enough by 7:00 am Sunday they were on a flight out to Dallas. Jared tried to remember the last time he’s been back to Texas, back to see his family and some of his old friends but he comes up blank.
Last time he was in Texas him and-Jared stops before he could even think his name. He doesn’t want to talk about him doesn’t want to remember. Too many bad memories came with his name.
Looking over at his boyfriend passed out in the chair next to him Jared had to smile. Jensen made him forget, made him feel special and loved. Something Jared’s ex never did.
Jared felt his nerves start to loosen and his muscles relax. Settling back down into the chair Jared closed his eyes hoping that when he opened them again they would be in Dallas.
“Baby,” Jensen whispered softly while shaking Jared’s shoulder gently.
Jensen loved how adorable Jared looks when he’s asleep. It makes Jensen want to lie in bed and cuddle for hours. Geez how much of a pussy has he actually became?
Jared’s eyes fluttered and he squinted at the face that was in front of him. “Jen..?”
Jensen smiled. “Were here.”
Being in Dallas again was weird for Jensen. The last time he was here he had just been asked to be apart of the Evangelist after that that was adios.
Nothing really has changed much apart from buildings looking more worn down and some new office buildings. Jensen rolled his eyes. He always said that all the good working farmers of Dallas would be pushed out for pencil pushers.
“Wow!” Jared exclaimed excitedly. It’s been so long since he’s been in Texas that all the changes were new and exciting to him.
Jensen chuckled at his boyfriends enthusiasm. Sometimes Jared was like a kid in a candy store, he was always so amazed by new things. “Come on baby I already got us a rental.”
They made their way into the rental car with Jensen driving sense Jensen knew exactly where to go. The drive their was silent and actually comfortable a lot more than Jensen would have imagined a day ago.
Sometime during the way there Jared’s hand found itself on Jensen’s thigh resting comfortably and offering silent support.
Jensen loved his boyfriend so much it was really hard not to profess his love atop the highest buildings. Highest buildings? Geez Jensen get a hold of yourself you’re turning into a pussy. Shaking his head he stepped on the gas wanting to get to the hospital as fast as he can.
Pulling up to Dallas Memorial sent a weird chill up Jared’s spine. He didn’t know why but hospital’s always seemed to creep him out and being a clumsy kid he was always in them. But Jared knew deep down that wasn’t the reason he knew what the reason was but ashamedly he wasn’t ready yet to admit it to himself and definitely wasn’t ready yet to admit it to Jensen.
Shaking himself out of his daze he unlocked his seat belt and got out of the car.
Hand in hand Jared and Jensen made their way into the hospital both feeling leery and uncomfortable for different reasons.
The automatic door opened and Jensen stepped past it Jared in hand. He didn’t know what to be feeling at the moment. He wasn’t sure he would have come unless he had Jared. Stopping for the moment he tugged Jared to a halt and smiled at the confused look on his face.
“What?” Jared confusedly asked. When Jensen got that weird look on his face Jared never knew what he was thinking usually though it comes with some form of dirty thoughts and then leads to sex. Jared felt himself blush at even the thought of it.
“Nothing I just am so glad that you’re here with me. I wouldn’t have been able to do this if I were on my own.”
Jared smiled relieved that at least it wasn’t something dirty. Cause if someone had a dirty mind it was Jensen Ross Ackles. “Aw babe you know I’ll be here for you always.” Jared said in a voice laced with fondness.
Jensen grabbed his face with two big hands and kissed him deeply.
Jared let his hands settle on Jensen’s waist not having a care in the world. Jensen always made him forget, made him feel special and always made him feel all these indescribable emotions he could never feel with previous ex’s.
Jared startled when he heard someone clear their throat behind them.
A blush crept up his face to paint his ears when he noticed it was an elderly lady that could have been at least 80 years old.
“The hospital is no place for that young men.” Her reference to them kissing as that clearly showed that at least some things haven’t changed. People were still homophobic assholes.
Jensen was about to tell her what she could do with this hospital when he felt a hand dig painfully into his side.
Grimacing he turned to Jared who was clearly very embarrassed about the whole situation.
“I’m sorry m’am we were on our way weren’t we Jensen?” Jared asked in a stern filled voice.
The hand dug deeper and Jensen had to hold back a pained whimper. “Y-ess” he stuttered.
The hand was then released and he breathed a sigh of relief but he was soon being pulled away by Jared’s strong arms.
Once they were in a quiet spot by the information desk Jensen stared daggers at Jared while holding his bruised side. “Baby that hurt!”
Jared smiled sweetly showing he wasn’t about to apologize. “Just think of it this way,” Jared huskily replied dipping his head lower so only Jensen could hear what he was going to say next. “It would have hurt much more if you would have told that granny off cause I would have withheld sex for a week.”
Jensen gave a startled gasp and let go of his injured side. “You know what I think my side feels much better now.”
Jared laughed. “Seriously though I’m sorry if I hurt you but I know your temper and I wasn’t going to let you curse out an 80 year old granny.”
Jensen laughed as well feeling all his previous nervousness drain out of him. Jared had that way with him. When he was tense, worried or nervous Jared always knew how to cheer him up and make those feelings disappear in a heartbeat.
Soon though his new found happiness was squashed by just one voice.
“Jensen!”
Jensen flinched and pulled Jared closer to him. “Hello Mom.”
Donna walked powerfully down the hall her heels clacking against the floor and making a loud sound as she went that obviously disturbed others. Of course his Mom was nothing but humble and like the old Ackles attitude she didn’t really give a shit.
“I knew you would make the right choice Jensen. You may be as dumb as a bag of rocks but you made the right choice when it counts thank God.”
Jared felt himself growing mad at the way Donna talked about her son. Her own son for God sakes.
Donna seemingly noticing that Jensen wasn’t alone stared pointedly at Jared giving him an icy look.
Jared actually felt himself shiver under that cold look.
Jensen squeezed Jared closer worried that he was cold. He rubbed his hand up and down his back soothingly hoping to warm him up some.
“May I ask who you are? Jensen did you pick up another hooker or something? Geez I can’t believe you would bring him here! This is a private moment.” Donna rambled on not even realizing that she wasn’t even letting her son answer the questions.
“Mom!” Jensen growled stopping his Mother’s rambling. “Jared is not a hooker he’s my boyfriend so treat him with more respect!”
Jared gulped and watched as Donna and Jensen started each other down. It was like an intense starring contest seeing who would back down first.
Donna pursued her lips and nodded sternly.
“Very well,” She sniffed and started walking down the hall.
Jared was left mouth agape. What a bitch!
Jensen squeezed Jared’s arm and smiled weekly. “Sorry Baby about my Mother she can be a total bitch.”
Jared just nodded still in shock over the whole confrontation.
“Come on,” Jensen urged. “We should follow her.”
Jared and Jensen followed Donna down the hallway to the very last room. It was quiet and not a lot of orderlies were around. Jared liked the spot though it gave him a bad feeling.
“Your father is in there Jensen and talk to him with respect. He’s deteriorated since I’ve called and his Doctor said it’s not if anymore it’s when.” Donna responded quietly in that same powerful I don’t give a shit attitude.
Jared didn’t know how the lady could be so cold while her Husband was on death’s door. He wasn’t letting that trouble him though cause after that she was gone already talking animatedly on her cell phone.
“Jensen I’ll wait outside if you want me too I don-”
Jensen stopped him before he could even finish. “No please come with me I would like to introduce you.”
Jared quietly nodded seeing as Jensen’s eyes were misting up with tears Jared knew Jensen would never shed.
Jared followed Jensen quietly into the room. It was a little dark sense the shades were drawn but he couldn’t miss the fragile man that laid on the bed.
He was hooked up to an oxygen machine and the monitors and stuff that usually beeped out readings were shut off. It was a sign that this man-Alan Ackles-really was going to die soon.
Spotting two chairs he watched as Jensen lowered himself into one and pulled him down into the other.
Alan began to move almost immediately as if sensing someone was in the room. His eyes began to flutter and Jared watched as Jensen unconsciously took the man’s hand in his own offering support.
“Dad…” Jensen whispered softly. “Can you hear me?”
“Jensen..” Alan breathed out slowly.
“Yeah it’s me.” Jensen said in a shaky, wet sounding laugh. Jared knew it was taking a lot for Jensen not to start crying.
“I didn’t think…..” Alan stopped and breathed in deeply again a dry cough spouting out after his exhale but he didn’t stop him from getting out what he wanted to say. “I’d ever see you again.”
Jared felt his own eyes watering. Watering for Jensen who so dearly loved his Dad but just never got on good terms with, for Alan who clearly loved his son even if they fought over the past and in some part for himself for not being able to get to know this man sooner.
“Why would you think that? I love you Dad I always have nothing would ever change that.” Jensen replied in a disbelieving voice.
Alan coughed again this time it was more wet sounding and Jared felt Jensen’s fingers tighten in his own.
“Dad….” Jensen replied crestfallen.
“I have to say this Jensen I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life.” Another painful sounding cough. “The worst was driving you away. I was scared and worried about how this new information would effect your life. I wasn’t thinking straight what I should have been thinking about was you.”
“Dad it’s ok.”
“I’m sorry Jensen I’ve never forgiven myself but one day I hope you can forgive me.”
Jared was shocked to feel wetness on his face. He was crying and this wasn’t even his own Dad but he was touched by the small admission. He was storing this moment in his head so he can remember it forever.
“Already have Dad already have.”
After that even though Jared was sure Alan wasn’t paying much attention Jensen introduced them and Jared felt himself relax as he lounged against Jensen sitting up with Alan all throughout the night. He died at 3:45 but Jared could tell that Jensen was glad at least they cleared the air and he was more at peace than he would have been if he received the information through a phone call or email.
Jared was so touched by the small scene that he decided when they got home Jensen deserved to know what happened with Jared’s whole fiasco with his ex. Though it would mean admitting things that he hasn’t even admitted openly to himself. He was ready and his only wish was Jensen would understand.
And oh yeah not beat the living hell out of his ex.
TBC
Author: cherry916
Beta: moviegeek03
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: This is in no way true. Nope notta none. though I wish it was
Warnings: Schmoop, angst, character death (not the boys)
Summary: Jensen and Jared go to be with Jensen's Dad in his hour of need and Jared comes to some realizations.
A/N: After ten years it feels like I finally finished this little piece. Sorry it took so long writer's block sucks but I really like how this one turned out and would love any and all feedback. This is part of my Poison!Verse all previous installments can be found here. It is preferred you read them first.
But you know you got
to stick to your guns
when it all comes down
'Cause sometimes you can't choose
It's like heads they win
tails you're gonna lose
“Mom?”
Jared took a swift intake of breath and was immediately alert and up to stand next to his boyfriend to offer support. Jared knows that Jensen’s parents are a touchy subject for him.
“Mom how did you get this number?” Jensen questioned or more like demanded. First of all she interrupted sex and that’s just something you don’t do man. Second of all his Mom hasn’t talked to him in years. Jensen didn’t even know if she knew where he lived much less his phone number.
When he felt Jared’s hand rest on his shoulder he wouldn’t admit it aloud-cause hey he has a reputation to keep up-but it calmed him down enough to take a deep breath and think clearly.
“Jensen my dear I hope you’re doing well?”
Jensen gritted his teeth and took a deep breath to keep from saying yeah no thanks to you he didn’t need to get in another arguing match with his mom.
“Cut the crap Mom why did you call me? For money again? To set me up with more girls?” Jensen angrily listed. This wasn’t the first time his Mom had called acting like she was worried about Jensen but really she needed money in her pockets to waste or trying to set him up with countless girls. It was always the same with her.
Jared squeezed Jensen shoulder in warning. To let him know he was losing it again.
“I see living on your own hasn’t helped your manners much. No, if you really want to know your father’s sick. They don’t think he’s going to make it and I was just calling you to let you know. You know where I’ll be I just hope you make the right choice son cause God knows you fucked it up in the past. Goodbye Jensen.”
Then she hung up leaving Jensen a mix of emotions.
Jensen was still tightly clinging to the phone even after she hung up. So many emotions were going through his head anger, guilt, sadness, fear. It was beginning to become too much to handle that’s why he let Jared pry the phone from his hands and lead him to the couch to sit down.
Jared lead Jensen to the living room sitting him on the couch, he quickly ran to the kitchen and filled a glass of water for him.
He handed Jensen the glass and watched as he downed it on one go. Jared sat next to him waiting silently for Jensen to tell him what was up.
“That was my mom she said my dad’s sick and he might not make it.” Jensen whispered brokenly.
Jared gasped in shock and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Baby,” Jared whispered his voice broken as well. “I’m sorry.”
Jensen sniffed miserably fighting back tears that were trying to make themselves known. He wished he could just outright hate them. It would make everything easier so that he wouldn’t get this emotional over them. God why can’t I just hate them?
“Are you going to go see him?” Jared asked quietly while rubbing soothing circles in his boyfriends back.
“I have to he’s my dad. I haven’t seen him in years and-” Jensen’s voice cracked and he couldn’t finish that last sentence. And I don’t want him to die thinking I hate him. I forgave him a long time ago.
“It’s alright you don’t have to finish. So when will you be leaving?” Jared asked curiously.
“Tomorrow but baby will you come with me, please?” Jensen pleaded.
“Of course I will.” Jared said softly. He then brought his hand to the back of Jensen’s head and pulled him in for a comforting kiss. Soon all thoughts of sex were forgotten and Jared and Jensen soon made arrangements to fly to Dallas to see Jensen’s dad.
Soon enough by 7:00 am Sunday they were on a flight out to Dallas. Jared tried to remember the last time he’s been back to Texas, back to see his family and some of his old friends but he comes up blank.
Last time he was in Texas him and-Jared stops before he could even think his name. He doesn’t want to talk about him doesn’t want to remember. Too many bad memories came with his name.
Looking over at his boyfriend passed out in the chair next to him Jared had to smile. Jensen made him forget, made him feel special and loved. Something Jared’s ex never did.
Jared felt his nerves start to loosen and his muscles relax. Settling back down into the chair Jared closed his eyes hoping that when he opened them again they would be in Dallas.
“Baby,” Jensen whispered softly while shaking Jared’s shoulder gently.
Jensen loved how adorable Jared looks when he’s asleep. It makes Jensen want to lie in bed and cuddle for hours. Geez how much of a pussy has he actually became?
Jared’s eyes fluttered and he squinted at the face that was in front of him. “Jen..?”
Jensen smiled. “Were here.”
Being in Dallas again was weird for Jensen. The last time he was here he had just been asked to be apart of the Evangelist after that that was adios.
Nothing really has changed much apart from buildings looking more worn down and some new office buildings. Jensen rolled his eyes. He always said that all the good working farmers of Dallas would be pushed out for pencil pushers.
“Wow!” Jared exclaimed excitedly. It’s been so long since he’s been in Texas that all the changes were new and exciting to him.
Jensen chuckled at his boyfriends enthusiasm. Sometimes Jared was like a kid in a candy store, he was always so amazed by new things. “Come on baby I already got us a rental.”
They made their way into the rental car with Jensen driving sense Jensen knew exactly where to go. The drive their was silent and actually comfortable a lot more than Jensen would have imagined a day ago.
Sometime during the way there Jared’s hand found itself on Jensen’s thigh resting comfortably and offering silent support.
Jensen loved his boyfriend so much it was really hard not to profess his love atop the highest buildings. Highest buildings? Geez Jensen get a hold of yourself you’re turning into a pussy. Shaking his head he stepped on the gas wanting to get to the hospital as fast as he can.
Pulling up to Dallas Memorial sent a weird chill up Jared’s spine. He didn’t know why but hospital’s always seemed to creep him out and being a clumsy kid he was always in them. But Jared knew deep down that wasn’t the reason he knew what the reason was but ashamedly he wasn’t ready yet to admit it to himself and definitely wasn’t ready yet to admit it to Jensen.
Shaking himself out of his daze he unlocked his seat belt and got out of the car.
Hand in hand Jared and Jensen made their way into the hospital both feeling leery and uncomfortable for different reasons.
The automatic door opened and Jensen stepped past it Jared in hand. He didn’t know what to be feeling at the moment. He wasn’t sure he would have come unless he had Jared. Stopping for the moment he tugged Jared to a halt and smiled at the confused look on his face.
“What?” Jared confusedly asked. When Jensen got that weird look on his face Jared never knew what he was thinking usually though it comes with some form of dirty thoughts and then leads to sex. Jared felt himself blush at even the thought of it.
“Nothing I just am so glad that you’re here with me. I wouldn’t have been able to do this if I were on my own.”
Jared smiled relieved that at least it wasn’t something dirty. Cause if someone had a dirty mind it was Jensen Ross Ackles. “Aw babe you know I’ll be here for you always.” Jared said in a voice laced with fondness.
Jensen grabbed his face with two big hands and kissed him deeply.
Jared let his hands settle on Jensen’s waist not having a care in the world. Jensen always made him forget, made him feel special and always made him feel all these indescribable emotions he could never feel with previous ex’s.
Jared startled when he heard someone clear their throat behind them.
A blush crept up his face to paint his ears when he noticed it was an elderly lady that could have been at least 80 years old.
“The hospital is no place for that young men.” Her reference to them kissing as that clearly showed that at least some things haven’t changed. People were still homophobic assholes.
Jensen was about to tell her what she could do with this hospital when he felt a hand dig painfully into his side.
Grimacing he turned to Jared who was clearly very embarrassed about the whole situation.
“I’m sorry m’am we were on our way weren’t we Jensen?” Jared asked in a stern filled voice.
The hand dug deeper and Jensen had to hold back a pained whimper. “Y-ess” he stuttered.
The hand was then released and he breathed a sigh of relief but he was soon being pulled away by Jared’s strong arms.
Once they were in a quiet spot by the information desk Jensen stared daggers at Jared while holding his bruised side. “Baby that hurt!”
Jared smiled sweetly showing he wasn’t about to apologize. “Just think of it this way,” Jared huskily replied dipping his head lower so only Jensen could hear what he was going to say next. “It would have hurt much more if you would have told that granny off cause I would have withheld sex for a week.”
Jensen gave a startled gasp and let go of his injured side. “You know what I think my side feels much better now.”
Jared laughed. “Seriously though I’m sorry if I hurt you but I know your temper and I wasn’t going to let you curse out an 80 year old granny.”
Jensen laughed as well feeling all his previous nervousness drain out of him. Jared had that way with him. When he was tense, worried or nervous Jared always knew how to cheer him up and make those feelings disappear in a heartbeat.
Soon though his new found happiness was squashed by just one voice.
“Jensen!”
Jensen flinched and pulled Jared closer to him. “Hello Mom.”
Donna walked powerfully down the hall her heels clacking against the floor and making a loud sound as she went that obviously disturbed others. Of course his Mom was nothing but humble and like the old Ackles attitude she didn’t really give a shit.
“I knew you would make the right choice Jensen. You may be as dumb as a bag of rocks but you made the right choice when it counts thank God.”
Jared felt himself growing mad at the way Donna talked about her son. Her own son for God sakes.
Donna seemingly noticing that Jensen wasn’t alone stared pointedly at Jared giving him an icy look.
Jared actually felt himself shiver under that cold look.
Jensen squeezed Jared closer worried that he was cold. He rubbed his hand up and down his back soothingly hoping to warm him up some.
“May I ask who you are? Jensen did you pick up another hooker or something? Geez I can’t believe you would bring him here! This is a private moment.” Donna rambled on not even realizing that she wasn’t even letting her son answer the questions.
“Mom!” Jensen growled stopping his Mother’s rambling. “Jared is not a hooker he’s my boyfriend so treat him with more respect!”
Jared gulped and watched as Donna and Jensen started each other down. It was like an intense starring contest seeing who would back down first.
Donna pursued her lips and nodded sternly.
“Very well,” She sniffed and started walking down the hall.
Jared was left mouth agape. What a bitch!
Jensen squeezed Jared’s arm and smiled weekly. “Sorry Baby about my Mother she can be a total bitch.”
Jared just nodded still in shock over the whole confrontation.
“Come on,” Jensen urged. “We should follow her.”
Jared and Jensen followed Donna down the hallway to the very last room. It was quiet and not a lot of orderlies were around. Jared liked the spot though it gave him a bad feeling.
“Your father is in there Jensen and talk to him with respect. He’s deteriorated since I’ve called and his Doctor said it’s not if anymore it’s when.” Donna responded quietly in that same powerful I don’t give a shit attitude.
Jared didn’t know how the lady could be so cold while her Husband was on death’s door. He wasn’t letting that trouble him though cause after that she was gone already talking animatedly on her cell phone.
“Jensen I’ll wait outside if you want me too I don-”
Jensen stopped him before he could even finish. “No please come with me I would like to introduce you.”
Jared quietly nodded seeing as Jensen’s eyes were misting up with tears Jared knew Jensen would never shed.
Jared followed Jensen quietly into the room. It was a little dark sense the shades were drawn but he couldn’t miss the fragile man that laid on the bed.
He was hooked up to an oxygen machine and the monitors and stuff that usually beeped out readings were shut off. It was a sign that this man-Alan Ackles-really was going to die soon.
Spotting two chairs he watched as Jensen lowered himself into one and pulled him down into the other.
Alan began to move almost immediately as if sensing someone was in the room. His eyes began to flutter and Jared watched as Jensen unconsciously took the man’s hand in his own offering support.
“Dad…” Jensen whispered softly. “Can you hear me?”
“Jensen..” Alan breathed out slowly.
“Yeah it’s me.” Jensen said in a shaky, wet sounding laugh. Jared knew it was taking a lot for Jensen not to start crying.
“I didn’t think…..” Alan stopped and breathed in deeply again a dry cough spouting out after his exhale but he didn’t stop him from getting out what he wanted to say. “I’d ever see you again.”
Jared felt his own eyes watering. Watering for Jensen who so dearly loved his Dad but just never got on good terms with, for Alan who clearly loved his son even if they fought over the past and in some part for himself for not being able to get to know this man sooner.
“Why would you think that? I love you Dad I always have nothing would ever change that.” Jensen replied in a disbelieving voice.
Alan coughed again this time it was more wet sounding and Jared felt Jensen’s fingers tighten in his own.
“Dad….” Jensen replied crestfallen.
“I have to say this Jensen I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life.” Another painful sounding cough. “The worst was driving you away. I was scared and worried about how this new information would effect your life. I wasn’t thinking straight what I should have been thinking about was you.”
“Dad it’s ok.”
“I’m sorry Jensen I’ve never forgiven myself but one day I hope you can forgive me.”
Jared was shocked to feel wetness on his face. He was crying and this wasn’t even his own Dad but he was touched by the small admission. He was storing this moment in his head so he can remember it forever.
“Already have Dad already have.”
After that even though Jared was sure Alan wasn’t paying much attention Jensen introduced them and Jared felt himself relax as he lounged against Jensen sitting up with Alan all throughout the night. He died at 3:45 but Jared could tell that Jensen was glad at least they cleared the air and he was more at peace than he would have been if he received the information through a phone call or email.
Jared was so touched by the small scene that he decided when they got home Jensen deserved to know what happened with Jared’s whole fiasco with his ex. Though it would mean admitting things that he hasn’t even admitted openly to himself. He was ready and his only wish was Jensen would understand.
And oh yeah not beat the living hell out of his ex.
TBC