Muhammed BETTER appreciate this..
I was so scared..
It was that feeling, all over again. That dark, empty loneliness. I thought I lost my Life back there.
..I forgot I was wearing kevlar. Heh..
Had a good cry while the medics were yelling at me once we got back to Yeis. How was I supposed to know I was going to get shot? I mean, seriously. The probability of actually getting shot by these poorly trained bastards is truthfully pretty slim.
But that was a close enough call for me to go home.. All the times we -weren't- in kevlar, we were lucky to be in it this time.
Think I'm through with this anyway.. But I don't WANT to go home.. Back to Terk, back to the kids.. I miss them. I miss them, I just.. Not sure I'm ready to give up like that. Give up what life was like. Running, shooting, surviving.. always knowing where the front of this war was. Now I won't know until Ja calls me.
And he better fucking call me often.
..What is with the boys getting shot through the leg? Shiro, Ja, and now it's David's turn. That must suck.. a lot. Oh well. I don't pity him a whole lot. Apparently he can handle the pain.
*One big loopy scrawl, as she sighs*
Should I try one more mission?
..No..
Do I want to..? ..Of course..
Maybe I should find Ja.. wait a bit. I don't exactly want to go home with this bruise. Terk will -never- let me come back.. Then we'll have a fight, he'll threaten to leave, I'll threaten to shoot him again.. ..It'll just get ugly in general..
Then again, maybe that's what I need.. Why I keep him around. ..To keep me from doing stupid, self-destructive, love-blind bullshit that will eventually get myself and my loved ones killed.
*SCRAWL SCRAWL*
I'm going home..
I don't want to be here when and if Denise wakes up, anyway.
It was that feeling, all over again. That dark, empty loneliness. I thought I lost my Life back there.
..I forgot I was wearing kevlar. Heh..
Had a good cry while the medics were yelling at me once we got back to Yeis. How was I supposed to know I was going to get shot? I mean, seriously. The probability of actually getting shot by these poorly trained bastards is truthfully pretty slim.
But that was a close enough call for me to go home.. All the times we -weren't- in kevlar, we were lucky to be in it this time.
Think I'm through with this anyway.. But I don't WANT to go home.. Back to Terk, back to the kids.. I miss them. I miss them, I just.. Not sure I'm ready to give up like that. Give up what life was like. Running, shooting, surviving.. always knowing where the front of this war was. Now I won't know until Ja calls me.
And he better fucking call me often.
..What is with the boys getting shot through the leg? Shiro, Ja, and now it's David's turn. That must suck.. a lot. Oh well. I don't pity him a whole lot. Apparently he can handle the pain.
*One big loopy scrawl, as she sighs*
Should I try one more mission?
..No..
Do I want to..? ..Of course..
Maybe I should find Ja.. wait a bit. I don't exactly want to go home with this bruise. Terk will -never- let me come back.. Then we'll have a fight, he'll threaten to leave, I'll threaten to shoot him again.. ..It'll just get ugly in general..
Then again, maybe that's what I need.. Why I keep him around. ..To keep me from doing stupid, self-destructive, love-blind bullshit that will eventually get myself and my loved ones killed.
*SCRAWL SCRAWL*
I'm going home..
I don't want to be here when and if Denise wakes up, anyway.