(no subject)
it's to dying in another arm's why i had to try it. i knew it would end eventually, but i had to try. i had to keep going. i woke up at five in the morning and i couldn't stop thinking about you. i wanted to call you and just cry on the phone, but i couldn't do that. my mind tells me that i'll be alright eventually, but my body hurts so much. i start to get hot and cramped and i can't stop kicking. i want to scream and let it all out, but i'm scared. i'm still scared of so many things, but i was never scared to love you. i still love you. it's so easy to not type those three words to you anymore, but i still say it in my mind. i'll never stop caring because caring about you has become so natural. i have these moments where i'm alright. and then my eyes just start to well up because i see something or just because. your pictures are still on the wall. your stuffed animals still sit on my bed. your blanket still keeps me warm at night. it was easy when you were younger, you can put it back together. and i know i still have a year and half left in high school, but when i look back on my four years, it'll be you i think of. i had the most amazing times with you. tomorrow is our two years and two months anniversary. i hope you take a piece of me with you. i'll still sleep with your blanket every night and i hope you still sleep with my pillow. and every song that you have ever played for me or sung for me, i will remember those times when i hear them. we started to make each other more unhappy than happy. but we were the only things that made each other happy. but sometimes love isn't enough. people say that all you need is love, but it takes more than love to last forever. it's just too hard to live two separate lives and try to intertwine them. i don't regret anything and you will always be my first love. i just want you to be happy again. and you can tell everybody this is your song.