comments are awesome!! [public post]

[cherisheddreams]

February 8, 2006.
I saw this on capturedxfaith, and thought it was pretty cool.
I wanna see how many comments I can get on this entry.

This post is always going to be on top. It is going to stay public, so that anyone can comment and tell me about their lives, talk about whatever you want. Tell me how your day went, or what you are doing right now. Have a

Comments

an anonymous comment about a boy i love to hate/hate to love

[anonymous]

i wish there wasn't such a thing as love. i wish i wasn't in love with this one boy who breaks my heart and doesn't even realize it. over and over and over again. but i can't be mad. i let him do it. i hate how he fucked me up so bad that i feel sorry for anyone that tries to steal my heart away again. they shouldn't even bother. i'll never get it back. i let this boy make me feel worthless. i let him make me feel like i'll never be good enough when HE'S the one that has issues. he has a drug problem. he'll talk to me when he's high. and sometimes drunk. and the hardest thing for me to do is to want to walk away so bad...but he'll beg me not to leave him and then of course...i can't. we've been dating on and off for 3 years. i've never lost the slightest feeling for him. i think our relationship is BIPOLAR itself. we can be so great...so in love...so good to one another, having fun...smilling, he makes me shake; then we'll be the opposite of that in less than 5 minutes. yelling, screaming, saying how we're totally different from each other, jealousy...it drives me nuts. throughout this relationship...i've experienced more emotion...both good and bad...than i've ever experienced in my life. i'm only 17 but i know he's the one. that sounds CRAZY, i know. believe me. if i heard anyone else say that i'd prolly slap them and tell them to come back down to earth but i really am in love with this boy and he means everything to me. i'm STUCK though. gosh i prolly sound like a loon but i hate this boy yet love i love him dearly. last novemeber we got into a huge fight. for the billionth time we swore up and down that we would never speak again. no calls, no letters, no anything. yet last night before he left we both said "i love you". we always come back to each other. and everytime we do...i feel a little more guilt. how can something so right be so wrong? i tried and tried to let go of this boy. to move on. but everywhere i go, everyone i meet...doesn't measure up to half of him. the way he makes me feel when i'm around him...good Lord. i feel lucky! but then i'm back to picking up his pieces and trying to put him back together. he's fucked his life up and i want to save him but he doesn't know i need to be saved too. i'd want nothing more than to just hear the words that he'd never cheat again or that...i'm the one for him. he's so afraid to let his feelings show. like if he says it...and something goes wrong...that's another regret/promise down the drain. i don't know what to do. he knows how i feel. i've stopped holding back. but he's just hurt so much...that i almost start to feel like there's nothing i can do. i hate it. i hate feeling helpless.

Re: an anonymous comment about a boy i love to hate/hate to love

[anonymous]

...a big part of me wants to give up but i feel like i literally can't. i can't sleep if i don't know he's okay. =[ i'm not nuts, i promise lol but noone quite gets everything i feel inside. i can't put it into words. i wish it was one way or the other with him. not leaning one way...then right back to the middle. i even used to judge people. like when one of my friends would tell me they are oh so in love with so and so...to their face i would show excitement...care; they would say how they boyfriend or girlfriend treats them so good...but i just can't help but think to myself that they have no idea what being in love is. like you don't know what it is until you're playing your song non stop on the radio...or actually saying aloud that that person is your bad habit...or in the bathroom crying your heart out with the water running so noone could hear you cause it hurts THAT much..........or waiting 24/7...and hoping...and sometimes not even wanting to live if it meant you couldn't be with them. that's what i thought love was. but now i'm thinking our relationship is just some fucked up addictive thing. but it's not like i haven't tried to be happy with other guys...it feels like i won't ever feel the way i feel with him with anybody else. now i'll always be comparing. i wish i could remember how i felt when i first knew i was in love with him. i wish i could take back everything that ever happened between us sometimes. every moment we share is bittersweet. i walk on eggshells around him. i'm starting to think that that isn't healthy and that it was just some stupid teenage thing. but if it was...why am i writing this to a person i don't even know? =\ why am i on this stupid computer waiting for him to sign on AIM? why do i cry when i miss him? or when i can't help ease his pain? ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhlaksdjalksdjlaskdjalsdjasd. so this was your anonymous comment. not what you expected, i'm sure. i hope you reach your goal! =]