Reminisce -chapter 9-
Title: Reminisce
Author: kame_kiyumi
Pairing: Akame
Rating: PG13
Genre: Romance, angst, friendship
Disclaim: Only the plot as this is based on real life experience. I don’t own the boys sadly to say… :(
Summary: Their love journey has been through a lot of ups and downs stretched through the years. Broke-up, getting back together, leaving again to only return with regrets, just how many ups and downs should they encounter in total to attain the real happiness?
Chapter 9:
It’s already in the mid April, which six months had gone by, when Jin finally returned to Japan, returned to the position of ‘A’ in KAT-TUN.
The first impression Kame had got from Jin when he stepped into their KAT-TUN’s room was Jin had changed so much.
Somehow, Jin had changed. Definitely, his appearance had changed since his hair got so much longer and his body build got slightly bulkier, perhaps due to the massive consumption of Western food for half a year, nevertheless Jin really looked so much healthier and refreshed than before. But… these were not what Kame truly felt. As for what it was, Kame couldn’t really point his finger at. Probably… it’s Jin’s attitude? Or… was it Jin’s aura?
Kame decided to settle on the change of aura as his answer because he felt that there’s a kind of aura surrounding Jin that made him different by some means. But what Kame failed to realize was, like him, Jin was putting on a colorful façade too. Jin had been doing that all these time too. Both of them were putting their excellent acting skills to a good use.
“Hey everyone, I'm back!” Jin shouted happily the moment the other five members came into view.
“Jin!” Nakamaru and Koki ran up to him and gave him a big friendly hug.
Jin grinned and saluted lazily to Ueda next. “Yo.”
Junno's dramatic voice resounded through the whole room when Ueda released Jin from his hug. “Akanishi-kun~~”
“What?” Jin snapped jokingly. “I don’t miss you, Junno. Don’t come near me.”
“Akanishi! You are mean!” Junno halted in front of Jin and pouted, in which Jin laughed out and pulled the taller man into a hug.
“Welcome back, Ji-Akanishi.” Kame corrected himself immediately and forced a fake, dazzling smile.
I've started to accept that I have a past which will never be healed.
Jin turned towards Kame. He stared a few moments at the smaller man. He did not miss out the formality addressed by the younger man.
‘Did he just call me Akanishi? Why is he being so distant? Kazu… Look at me; I’m finally back now…’
Jin tried to shrug and offered his arms out bigheartedly. Kame seemed a bit surprised by Jin's action but went into his embrace nevertheless. How he had missed that feeling, that warmth.
Jin thought that he ought to be cool about everything. He couldn’t let his effort of hiding his misery to go to a waste. But when Kame was in his arms, he could do nothing but to only tighten his hold. He had missed this afterall. He nuzzled his face into the crook of Kame's neck and inhaled the charming honey scent released from the younger man.
It hurts to know that you being so close yet I could never have you again.
Kame hesitated to wrap his arms around the waist of Jin's at first but when he felt that Jin tightened his hold, Kame slowly brought his arms up and wrapped them around the place he had once been familiar with.
‘I miss you.’
“I’m back. How have you been?” Jin asked Kame in a deep, husky voice. ‘You know, since the day I left... you.’
“I-I’m fine... how about you?” Kame answered.
The smile that I haven’t been practicing for so long, perhaps you had already forgotten all about it.
He got to be strong. He had to stay strong. He could see that Kame had been getting on well. He had heard a lot from Yamapi, Ryo, Ueda and Nakamaru about how Kame had been getting on ever since he left. Kame was fine without him. He was living well with Yamapi by his side at the moment. Thus, Jin couldn’t afford to let Kame find out how much he had actually missed the younger man and regretted things he had said and done while living alone in a foreign country for so long.
If only you are still beside me, do you think we are able to walk till the end? Do you think we can choose again and don’t give up this time?
“Excellent.” Jin smiled against Kame’s neck.
Kame swallowed hard upon hearing Jin’s answer.
‘I seemed to be the only fool here... Kamenashi Kazuya, you are really a big, stupid fool in this whole world. Jin has already moved on, so why can’t you? Quit being such a wishy-washy dumbass!’
They broke the hug when they heard their members clearing their throats purposely a few times.
“Why was Kame’s hug longer than any of us? You are not being fair, Jin!” Koki whined.
“Shut up. Because he was the only one who welcomed me back.” Jin muttered.
Jin continued to bicker with Koki and Junno who decided to stand by Koki’s side and defended his poor friend.
Kame stood there motionlessly and stared at Jin forlornly.
Ever since the day you left me, I’m being imprisoned to a room that is the furthest away from happiness. I spent the confinement by myself, only loneliness enclosing me.
‘I wish for nothing but only your happiness. Since your happiness doesn’t lie with me, I ought to let you go, isn’t it? So even if eventually, I was the only one who’s being bonded by our memories, I am willing to let you go. So long you are feeling happy; I am willing to do anything for you. Because, that is the rule.’
You always love to weave lies in which I am responsible for going with the flow.
~*~
Just like this, everyone were thinking that Kame and Jin were finally being all cool again with their friendship, going back to their ‘best friends’ state, even after the torturous break-up they shared.
So in order not to ‘disappoint’ them and not to allow his emotions to leak out, Kame continued to put on his wonderful mask and lived his already meaningless life. Basically, he’s somewhere near the area of being declared as dead.
His face no longer showed those sweet expressions which all people loves; his face no longer displayed those colorful memories he had. Because it simply hurt him whenever he knew he could no longer draw Jin near to him. It hurt to identify that Jin, really had overlooked the past between them, even after Ryo had told him something not so long ago. But what he did not noticed well enough was that Jin had been trying his best to put his acting skills into good use as well.
But Kame assumed Jin had… got over everything. Every chance.
So Kame thought that’s the end of their story. He thought that he managed to fool everyone, especially Jin and kept them away from his secret cave. Or so, he thought. But there was just this one person who loved to wreck his foolproof dream. Yamapi.
Yamapi was the only one who saw the turmoil Kame was still undergoing. He felt exasperated. But that was also the time when… Kame thought he should wake up and strived forward to his goal irregardless of the hardship that he was going to go through. Kame felt determined to get Jin back! However, that said one particular friend just loved to pour cold water on him and messed up his plan…
“How long are you going to keep up with that facade?” Yamapi questioned while sitting on the chair situated in Kame’s kitchen.
“I beg your pardon?” Kame was busying himself with the preparation of dinner for Yamapi and himself.
“Jin. I am referring to Jin. How long more?” Yamapi snapped.
“I don’t understand your question. Pi, why are you being so snappy now?” Kame tried to change the topic.
“Quit showing me that mask. I am not that easy to fool.” Yamapi snapped again.
Kame gave out a sigh and turned his face towards Yamapi. “Pi.”
“What? I am the one asking you question now, Kame-chan.”
“Just... stop it. I am not going to answer anything.” Kame’s mood was now dampened. He just wished to throw all the food down to the rubbish bin and threw them out of the house. He felt nauseous.
“Why? Don’t you think you owe yourself an explanation?” Yamapi insisted.
“What explanation, Pi?” Kame tried to answer in his best tone, controlling his rage.
“Don’t you think it’s time for you to move on, Kame-chan? You have suffered enough. Hell, even that Bakanishi too! At least he has moved on! He’s living his life well now, can’t you see? So why can’t you do the same?”
“Pi, I...”
‘I didn’t change. After such a long period of waiting and hurting, I still haven’t change. I am waiting for Jin. I know… probably he has been waiting for me too…’
“Pi, I... I have moved on.” Kame let out in an almost inaudible whisper.
“Liar!” Yamapi shouted, not getting Kame’s true intention from the words.
Now, Kame felt that his patience had run out too so he started to shout. “I am not! I am telling you the truth! I am telling this to you only. I have moved on! I have decided to give Jin and myself a last chance. I want to get him back!” Kame shouted his decision firmly.
I made a mistake when I let go of your hand, let you out of my sight. But now, I want to amend for it and correct my mistake.
“W-what!? Damn! Why are you such a stubborn person!? You are really stupid to waste your precious time on Jin! He’s not going to have you back!”
“He will!”
“He will not, you damn stubborn turtle!”
“He will, I know he will! Ryo told me that!”
“RYO? What the hell did Ryo tell you about!?” Yamapi yelled out, now demanding to know.
A/N: Yay… I got this out. =) Is it better in this chap? *hides behind a pillar and waited* I just realized that I seems to have been using present tense for the previous chaps all along… omg. Hahaha.. I am so sorry, these was supposed to be a recollection of past. So I think I will be going back to all the previous chaps and edit them… T.T Anyway, comments are loved and will be treasured~ :D