Reminisce -chapter 6-
Title: Reminisce
Author: kame_kiyumi
Pairing: Akame
Rating: PG13
Genre: Romance, angst, friendship
Disclaim: Only the plot as this is based on real life experience. I don’t own the boys sadly to say… :(
Summary: Their love journey has been through a lot of ups and downs stretched through the years. Broke-up, getting back together, leaving again to only return with regrets, just how many ups and downs should they encounter in total to attain the real happiness?
Chapter 6:
Bang!
A furious, loud banging of the door that swung solidly at the wall was heard clearly, resonating across the whole silent apartment.
Kame jumped in shock from it and was jerked out instantly from his slumber. He rubbed his eyes sleepily using the back of his hand and mumbled, “Jin?”
Anxious, heavy footsteps were heard next then the sight of a frustrated, disheveled Jin came into view.
“Jin?” Kame called out again. He stood up from his position and faced Jin. “You’re ba-”
“What had you been doing just now?” Jin barked out.
“Huh? Pardon?” Kame got confused as his mind still had not focused fully.
“I said, who the hell did you sent text messages to, just now!?” Jin shouted as his voice became louder this time.
Kame flinched from Jin’s unreasonable yelling. “Y-yamapi. Is there anything wrong?”
‘Is there something I missed out?’
“Is there anything wrong…?” Jin replicated. “Why the hell of all people, did you text him for?”
“Jin… be reasonable, will you? I was not the first one to initiate sending text message. He was the one.” Kame answered bluntly, feeling bad at being accused. ‘I was waiting for your message, for God’s sake but you didn’t even send one!’
“Can’t you ignore him then?” Jin demanded selfishly.
‘Well, I did think of that. It’s just that I couldn’t bring myself to do it, Pi is afterall our best friend.’
“I…” Kame looked down at the white-tiled floor, thinking of how he should explain with suitable words to avoid angering Jin more.
“You what!? Don’t you even think of trying to tell stupid lies to me, you know it won’t work!”
“I don’t think it was a good idea to do that, so I replied.” Kame hesitated before speaking out in a small voice.
‘Damn you.’ This thought flashed across Jin’s mind almost immediately when that sentence left Kame’s lips.
Jin felt suffocated. He had enough. He wanted a breakthrough. He wanted to break free from this suffocating, stuffy thing. So, unconsciously, Jin blurted out a hurtful sentence to Kame.
“I had enough of you and him! You stupid shit!” Jin yelled out uncontrollably.
Kame’s eyes went wide with utter disbelief. Did he hear right?
“Excuse me?” He raised his head to stare at Jin, eyes still full of disbelief.
“I said I had enough of you two! Both of you have been cheating on me behind my back since how long ago, huh?” Jin screamed irately. “Since Nobuta, isn’t it!?”
“I must have been blind to come back to you, get back together and let myself get hurt for the second time! I should have known!” Jin continued his furious ranting, totally ignoring how Kame’s heart was cracking up bit by bit from his malicious words.
Multiple drops of crystal clear water droplets had already flowed out from Kame’s glassy orbs by then. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard. From Jin of all people. What had just happened? He held up both of his hands to his temples and knocked hard on it a multiple times.
Till that moment, he could still clearly retain those beautiful memories between these few months he and Jin have got back together, in his mind. Those memories flashed by in his mind like playing a full film before his eyes.
Those heartwarming and fun moments during the shooting and making for their second single, SIGNAL promotion video when Jin always initiated others to call him ‘Kame’, teasing him. Though he was showing a grumpy look but he was actually very touched and sweetened up in his heart. Despite having enough of the ‘Kame’ teasing from all the members, despite all those whining and the last warning he gave out like he’s going to get real mad if they were to call him just one more time, but when Jin was the one who kicked off the lead to tease him with the ‘Kame’ calling all over again, he felt all glowing and sugared yet again. Feeling that fluffy feeling in his heart, Kame could only smile at that ministration, that piece of memory and teased Jin back at a failed attempt for he couldn’t find any good reason to get mad with Jin, no valid reason to ignore or rejected Jin.
Furthermore, that touching confession he received from Jin in front of millions of people which only he and Jin understood the content, at the 24hours TV show.
And… the secret they owned together for wearing the turtle earring on their left ear-hole.
And… the connotation behind that pair of pinky rings…
And…
Those were the all so simple and lovable gestures between them.
But… What? What happened? What now?
He looked up at Jin through his overfilled, glassy eyes who continued to leash out all his frustrations like there’s no tomorrow. “You even went to show your support when he was performing his solo at Music Station that time! God! Why am I that foolish to not realize that you two have been hooking up behind me all along then!? STUPID SHIT!”
“That was decided last minute by Johnny-san, Jin! You knew it too!” Kame retorted, trying to save back something. He doesn’t know what that would be. But he just wanted to retain something, at least a truthful fact.
“I know doesn’t mean that I will believe!” Jin yelled deafeningly again.
“Jin, please… let me… give me just one chance to explain…” Kame pleaded.
“I don’t need your fucking explanation! They are no longer effective!”
Kame remained silent after that flare-up of Jin’s. He’s got speechless. What else should he retort Jin with? His mind gradually paled out and faded into a clean blankness as he listened to Jin’s continuous livid ranting.
‘No longer effective… my words no longer mean anything to you… they are no longer effective…’
“I can’t believe you! You actually hooked up with Pi of all people out there? He’s my best friend, damn you! Are you trying to drive me to my grave!? Huh!?” Jin yelled out in aggravation, panting hard after his enraged outburst. He kicked hard at the couch beside him and screamed painfully.
“Jin…” Kame reached out a trembling hand to tug on Jin’s arms timidly, hoping to calm him down. He doesn’t know how, he just knew that he wanted Jin to calm down and at least listened to him.
Jin shrugged off Kame’s hand roughly and glared at him coldly. “Who knows, probably he has taken you too!”
That’s the limit.
Kame’s voice disappeared magically within him. His life left his body in an instant. His breathing stopped immediately. His heart broke into millions of tiny pieces, no longer amendable. Tears flowed endlessly just like opening a tap. But… still, no comforting came. No more love transmitted to him, from Jin.
A few moments of silence ruled over the place, tension still high in place.
“No one… touches me… but only you. And… it will… always… only be… you.” Kame finally was able to stammer out; breathing became an extremely hard thing for him to do.
“Stop that! I hate liars. You should know it. Why didn’t you tell me the truth instead of weaving lies again and again?”
He forced himself to look at Jin and stared intensely into Jin’s still furious eyes.
“I… did not.” Kame replied in a low, broken voice but still determined. “Jin… Please, listen to me… just once. Things are… really not like what you thought. At least… have trust in me.” Kame pleaded quietly.
“Listen to you? Listen to all your goddamn lies again? I’m not that gullible, Kamenashi! Save it! And have you ever heard this saying before? ‘Sometimes the person you trust the most will be the person who will eventually betrays you’! Much more asking me to trust you!”
That’s it. With that tone of Jin’s, everything seemed to be broken, leaving no traces behind at all.
Their bond? What a joke. From that moment on wards, Kame knew it. There’s no more their bond. They don’t belong to one another anymore. He could almost expect what’s going to emerge from Jin’s lips next. Just that, by listening to it personally, would hurt him to the utmost.
“We’re through.”
Again, this had to happen.
Two simple words meant that hurtful, stupid meaning.
You are free to do anything you want, go to anywhere you wish, stay with anyone you like.
Kame swallowed hard once. It’s really hard to ignore the reality that his heart was dying on him little by little. His breathing, his heartbeat, his life… all left him the moment Jin left him.
“Jin, I don’t know what triggered off your furious rage. And honestly, up till this very moment, I still don’t know what I did wrong and where I went wrong. All the more I don’t know what Yamapi had told you. I don’t understand this whole thing at all. But…” Kame inhaled a deep breathe, trying to keep more of his tears from flowing out. “… I will respect your decision. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I did to make you this angry. Jin, please. Don’t be angry. If you want us to break up, I will accept it. If you don’t want to see me again, I can leave. I will leave.” Kame wiped his mass of tears off silently.
Although he felt that he had been wronged, he doesn’t want Jin to be any more upset than he was now.
Tell me straight if one day you realize your heart no longer wants me, I will leave quietly, willingly. I won’t want to delay you in finding your rightful happiness.
“But there’s one thing you have to know, that is I have never betray you. I will never, never in my whole life. And never doubt my love for you. My love and feelings for you will not change by all means.”
Jin, upon witnessing those hurtful tears pouring out from his lover’s beautiful orbs and hearing that truthful confession, couldn’t help but felt guilty. He saw for himself how that pair of wonderful, beautiful eyes turned into a pair of lifeless, blank eyes in an instant right in front of him. And to top it off, he was the one responsible for this hideous change.
He seriously doesn’t know what had gone wrong with him too. All he knew is he hate to see Kame with Yamapi. He hated that. And this time, his selfish rage overpowered him yet again; making him do something that he knew he would regret it instantly. He wanted to apologize but the stubborn apology just wouldn’t come out from his lips. It’s not easy.
I know you are still upset, I know you still loves me; I know it’s my fault, it’s all my fault.
And now I understand, breaking up with you means that I am losing another half of myself too.
“I’m really sorry.” He heard Kame’s soft, shaky voice for the last time.
History has been repeating itself. I felt jaded by these.
Now even if we were to compromise for our love, we are still unable to rewrite our story.
You have made your last decision and I was forced to hide in my own world.
With that, Kame inhaled a deep breathe and went somberly into their room, packing hastily a few pieces of clothes into a small duffel bag and left the apartment quietly, leaving Jin still standing rooted to the same place in the living room.
He brought along grief, hurt and memories with him. Till the moment he stepped out of their apartment, Jin still did not speak up. And Kame couldn’t understand any better of why were they leaving each other again, over… a fact that doesn’t even exist.
‘Jin, you didn’t even bother to hear my explanation and worst, you accused me of things I will never ever do to you. There’s really nothing going on between Yamapi and me, why wouldn’t you hear me out? What do you want me to do to prove my innocence? Do I mean so little in your heart? You hate me now, isn’t it? But… I still love you.’
And, I still wanted to believe in us…
~*~
A/N: YAY~ I got this up in time! I thought I couldn’t finish it but yay, I did it! ^^ and this time, the chapter is slightly longer than all previous ones… hope you will like it! As usual, comments will be loved and treasured~ peace~