(no subject)
So Eric's cool and all, but he's not Jay. God, I don't understand this. Why is he doing this to me? Why am I letting him do this to me????????? He's clearly, without a shadow of a doubt, seeing someone else. But then again, so am I. I wonder if he sits there and compares me and her the way I do with him and Eric. Eric has so much more going for him... he's in school, he's responsible with his money, he's ambitious. Jay was such a wonderful person though. Sure, he didn't have the college education, but I could care less!!!!! Money honestly isn't that important to me. There's so much more to life than just that. We were so good together. What changed his mind?? Why did he do this? How is he so positive that this is the "right thing to do?" God I'm trying so hard. He's ruining it though, he's ruining our beauty. I just text messaged him. I know I shouldn't have. Tonight has just been so hard, I'm not sure why. I wrote "I'm trying so hard to forget. Why are you doing this to us????" Man, if someone wrote that to me, I wouldn't know what to respond with, so I guess I'm almost certain that he's just not going to respond, like he hasn't been for the past 2 weeks. Unbelieveable. I wish I just had to strength to leave him alone. God, I wish I had the strength.
I just started crying tonight, I'm not sure why. I just miss him so much. I love him so much. It's not the sex, it's the relationship. It's the comfort. It's the friendship. The laughs, the crys, the everything. He quit his job... I wonder who was there for him through that tough time. Jason, Amanda, the new girl. Whatever. No one will ever love him or put up with his bullshit like I did for a year and a half.
So I've been writing this entry for the past 10 minutes, basically since I just sent that message. No response. How bothersome. I just want some answers. God please help me. Comfort me. Restore me.
I just started crying tonight, I'm not sure why. I just miss him so much. I love him so much. It's not the sex, it's the relationship. It's the comfort. It's the friendship. The laughs, the crys, the everything. He quit his job... I wonder who was there for him through that tough time. Jason, Amanda, the new girl. Whatever. No one will ever love him or put up with his bullshit like I did for a year and a half.
So I've been writing this entry for the past 10 minutes, basically since I just sent that message. No response. How bothersome. I just want some answers. God please help me. Comfort me. Restore me.