Red Light district
Well scene one worked. James reacted better than I could have even guessed. He acted all young, dumb and horney for me. Something I haven’t seen in a while. So I am setting a scene again today just to see if it works. Maybe I just haven’t been putting enough energy into James and I’s marriage and maybe this little bit of extra work will help. So I got up this morning and put a cute pair of Light pink cordoroy pants that I haven’t worn in nearly a year. I finally lost about 17 pounds and even though they are still really tight, I can atleast move around comfortably in them. I put on a cute white tank and this see through embroidered shirt that I also haven’t warn in months. I put my new Red hair up in pigtails and then braided them, and then I actually took some time to do some makeup work on myself.
I am trying to look and feel young, instead of giving into my feelings of being old and frumpy and slowly dying.
We are heading into Boone in just a bit, to Go to the library, hopefully send these off to you, and maybe even stop and have some lunch, I know we gotta hit the dollar store so it depends how much money we have left. We really should try to pay all of rent today but if we do it leaves us $50 to live on all week and I don’t think that is going to work. So I am just not gonna fret, send him all we can at the end of the day and let it be that. I am just tired of working myself to death and it never being enough. I just can’t keep stressing myself into panic attacks.
Ohhh yeah, I actually took a shower in the house by myself yesterday. That’s a really big deal for me. Something about not being able to see out of the shower and not having anyone here to protect me, usually ends up with me in tears on the floor if I try. But I wanted to get my hair colored before James came home, so bad that I made myself do it.