Even relaxing needs learning :)
Its Christmas afternoon here in Phuket. And I just finished watching "Eat Pray Love" by myself.
It's all very calm here, sitting quietly alone in the pavilion watching the sun set beyond the horizon and having my second cup of cappuccino. I hear my mum going about her usual motherly business we call 'nagging'(at us to keep the plates in the sink); my dad's pouring me a cup of tea, as always; and my brothers are jostling about in our private jacuzzi. It's all very peaceful and calm.
I love feeling the sun's warm golden rays on my shoulders and neck - it makes you feel less alone, somehow, in it's own magical way. I love hearing noise around me - the waves lapping it up against the shore, the cars zooming across on the roads above, the silent drone of the jetski motors far away in the distance, the boys' laughing like how boys do.. It makes me feel less alone.
Over the course of the month that I have given myself to 'obliviate' (forget the things that are not good remembering), I've come to learn that while I'm still the same old me from a year ago, I'm not really the same anymore. I've learnt that I'm really a loner - I love being alone and by myself. But I don't feel lonely. I'm not lonely. And when you realise that, it's a goddamn wonderful feeling :)
If I had my way, I'll go off to somewhere all by myself to look for that inner peace I lost along the way. But I learnt that maybe you don't have to go off to go anywhere; you could be here at the very same spot as you were when you wanted to run away, and you can still be find the new, or old you, back :)
Time to do my 2010 reflections when I get back home then :) I can't wait for 2011 and the new excitements and opportunities it will bring!
<3, TYL in Phuket :)
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