"Your car should drive, not be a little bitch."
Sorry this is late, guys. I'm really sick, so it might not be the funniest and it looks like fandom liked this episode way more than I did, which is not to say I hated it, but I am just going to warn you before you end up in the middle of it that this is not 100% squee.
Two and a Half Men Squee Post
Do you still ship it? I kind of do, too.
Dear Recap, please don't show me that hug. It actually makes me uncomfortable. Don't touch me there.
Jensen, you looked delicious this episode. I love that he looks younger now than he has for like two seasons--it makes perfect sense for the character, even if it doesn't make much sense for the Jensen.
They made Ben move again! Dude, the kid just moved. That's so sad.
Sammy, it makes me happy to see you in your "playing a fed" outfit with your hair blowing everywhere. I miss you, kid :(
HAHAHAHHA--WHO CAUGHT HOW GAY DEAN'S HAND MOTION WAS ON "YOU KEEP THE CHANGE"? That pizza guy was like, "OMG, he's flaming. DOES HE LIKE MEEEE??"
Lisssssssaaaaa. This man is not safe to have around your childdddd.
SAM, NO HAVING THE "IT'S NOT OUR KIND OF JOB" CONVERSATION WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT YOUR BROTHER.
It does actually matter if it's people or a shifter doing it, Samuel, because Sam knows Dean would not want him blowing holes in people. It's called having humanity. I would not expect you to understand.
"Am I boring you? You got some place to be?" - Yes, he has a brother to be with, actually.
"Sometimes I wonder about you, Sam."
"Sometimes I wonder about me, too."
Why is Sam Winchester letting this asshole bully him around? I would really like to know. Because even when he has doubts about himself, Sam Winchester does not roll over and ask people who are abusing him to keep at it. Remember John? Remember his actual character?
Samuel, stop complaining about research. You're not Dean. You're not cute. You're not even interesting as a plot point. You storyline is destroying this show.
Dean and Ben! Okay, for my part, I don't think Dean really blew up more than he should--the kid was playing with a gun and talking about being a hunter. I love Dean Winchester so much for his conviction that the kid will never be a hunter.
But I see why you are sad you blew up at him, Dean. I think you are realizing you are a better mommy than a daddy. It's okay. When you and Sam adopt a baby, he will definitely be the daddy.
OMG. This moment where Lisa and Dean are both realizing he doesn't belong here, with the "monsters in general" line? Breaking my heart. I mean, the poor guy just wants to settle down and make some people he cares about's lives easier, and he ends up scaring the crap out of them. Because he's that incapable of living like a normal person. TRAGEDY.
"I need you with me." - :( Sam, I kind of don't even believe that you feel that way, and you know I want to.
Ah, but as usual, top!Sam says jump, and Dean Winchester shows up in a field to go hunting with his little brother.
Gutenberg? Really Sam? Well, at least he still sucks at references. There's some character continuity.
He taught Lisa how to use a gun! That's kind of sad.
I love that she knows he wants to go. Lisa, you are so perfect and so sad. I mean, she still doesn't make sense to me, but I think it's the actress I have a complaint with, because her lines are perfect and would add up to a good character if they were played in a way that makes any sense.
LOLOLOL. She's gonna shoot him if he doesn't get out. Lissssaaaa! Let me tell you, there is something fundamentally wrong with the world when Lisa is the second most interesting character in an episode.
"Bet you're missing your ex right now? The boring one?" + The little goodbye kiss = OMG. DEAN AND LISA. WHY SO KIND OF ADORABLE?
I think that shot of her face was supposed to be an "I know I've lost him and I'm sad" look. Which is excellent, so I will pretend it was there instead of her just staring forward blankly. Bad acting, let me show you it.
"Your car should drive, not be a little bitch." - OMG. DEAN WINCHESTER. And Sam's car so totally would be a little bitch to him. This was perfect. I wish this moment had been 40 minutes long.
Okay, the entire fucking scene in the grocery store with the diaper shopping made my entire life happy. THEY WERE SUCH A GAY COUPLE. DO YOU PEOPLE SEE WHY I WANT SAM AND DEAN TO RAISE 800 black BABIES? I DON'T EVEN LIKE BABIES, BUT I NEED THEM TO HAVE A BABY. I CANNOT BELIEVE I WAS SEEING THAT. It was so cute. So cute.
"Everyone's staring at us like we're child abusers!" LOL
Dean's response to a crying baby is to cry back at it? ILU, BB.
Dean says Bobby, Sam says John. That could have been such a well-done character moment if they weren't banging us over the head with this shit the rest of the episodes.
Sam, don't you know your brother well enough to know he wouldn't tell a nice old lady he's going to stab her in the neck without a reason? I mean, really.
They worked so well together in this scene! Getaway car! <3_<3
I kept thinking the shifters had black eyes and were half-demons or something. Was it just me that thought they had black eyes? I guess so, they would have addressed that, I think.
"I'll pay you money if you sit still." and Sam's little laugh! He is in love with mommy!Dean for obvious reasons \:D/
He *actually* told his brother he was father material. Umm, guys...you wanna tell them, or should I?
Dean feels like Ben is hisssss. I feel that way, too, Dean.
How could Sam Winchester ever tell Dean that he is acting like John Winchester to his face? How? With all the problems he had with John and if he knew his brother (which he is supposed to do) and thre fact that Dean will never completely come to terms with what John did to them? Even had it been true (which it wasn't, this entire episode was about how Dean is not letting a kid be raised a hunter), HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT TO HIM? Who is this person wearing Sam's face? Because I love Sam Winchester's character a lot, and I find it offensive that I am supposed to pretend this unlikable person is him.
I get that you come back from Hell changed, but some of him has to be the same person, or why don't you change his name and stop slandering Sam Winchester with this pathetic attempt at characterization all together? We worked for 5 seasons to get the Sam Winchester we had at the end of Season 5, a Sam who made the ultimate sacrifice because he was a complete, strong person and could make hard decisions on his own. Dean was trusting him to. Sam is supposed to be a complete person who can make important and obvious decisions on his own. He is not supposed to need Dean to be his moral compass anymore. We earned that, and it was HARD EARNED. To fling THIS SAM at us after we worked so hard for that one? Is an insult to this entire show.
Dean does hard rock lullabies. Every fanfiction ever has just been Kripke'd.
Dude, I have decided Sam doesn't want Dean doing it differently because he's that in love with mommy!Dean.
Dean is Sam's housewife. Staying home with the kid! OH, I CANNOT HANDLE IT <3_<3
Annndddd...Dean is back on the bottle. Do you see what you've done to him, Sam? Do you see? I'm like 80% sure he was only slightly alcoholic before you showed up again. HE AND LISA MADE PROGRESS.
But OMG. HE GAVE THE BABY WHISKEY SAND THEN SAID "It's good, isn't it?" AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA--DEAN, ILU. DEAN IS STILL DEAN.
Sam's hair is stupid again. :DDDDDDDD
Hah, shapeshifter baby? I totally wrote season 6 only without the insufferable Sam.
Also, how much do I love that it turned into the little black baby from the diaper box? CLEVER. I WANT DEAN TO RAISE A CUTE BLACK BABY BECAUSE THEY ARE THE ONLY CUTE BABIES IN THE WORLD.
What's wrong, Dean? Magic fingers not doing it for you anymore? Maybe you need your brother's magic fingers instead.
"You think?" as he holds up the little black baby, oh man, I am dying. And when the shifter said he's the father and Dean goes "I'm not seeing the resemblance." I love him, he's so snarky and wonderful ^_^
Sam: I didn't even know shifters had babies. I thought they were freaks of nature.
Dean: It's not really a monster, it's still just a baby.
*sigh* No, really, I'll buy you a hammer and then you can just bang me over the head with that instead.
NO, SAM. SAMUEL WILL NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO. Good God, how are we supposed to believe he is this stupid? This guy went to Stanford. This guy did outrageously well on his LSATs. This guy has been smart for 5 seasons. And now I am just supposed to buy that he is idiotically joining a cult and letting them brain wash him because they're "family", as if Sam doesn't have a better definition of family by now? I'm sorry, but why would they even want to go this far out of their way to sabotage the character? How am I supposed to like this character? Because I REALLY like Sam Winchester. And this guy? I don't even not care about this guy--I straight up dislike him.
Yes, Sam, every hunter is a headcase. You once knew that, when you were a decent character.
Gwen, I really, really fucking hate you.
"You just stand there and think at me." - OMG, Dean. Thank you for saving this episode with your snark. I love you SO MUCH for not trusting them. So. Much.
Sam, dude, don't tell him it's okay. It's not okay. I swear you're smart enough to know that. You actually just took the baby from your brother knowing he would not refuse you and betrayed him by handing it right to the person Dean did not want holding it.
Did this guy actually just MAKE A JOKE about what happened to Dean in Hell? And Sam says nothing? And when Dean understandably gets upset, Sam says "take it easy, man, he's my brother" like Dean is retarded and Sam knows he's being stupid, but don't pick on him, he's just not very bright. Sam is being so condescending to Dean for the last two episodes, and now this? I don't even fucking ship it.
Dean, take the baby and runnnnnn.
Dude, the shifters killed a Campbell. TEAM BABY-NAPPING, MOTHER-KILLING SHIFTERS! It's like that.
"We're gonna box him up." - What are you starting a fucking monster zoo?
Sam shifter looks so yummy. OmnomJarednom. And it definitely looked like he and real!Sam were going to make out for a moment there. Relevant to mai interests!
Instant transformation!shifter! That is BAD. ASS.
NOOOOOOO, ALPHA SHIFTER. DON'T TAKE DEAN'S LITTLE BLACK BABY. :( Now you are on my shit list again.
I thought maybe the Sam at the end was shifter!Sam which explains why he's such an asshole, but then, no, probably not. Sam is kind of being that much of an asshole on his own. Using a baby as bait. Fuck you, not!Sam.
The "I Know What You Did Last Summer" episode explaining how Sam got to be this insufferable better be really fucking intense, because I am not seeing any way to fix this character assassination. I can understand why S3!Sam would turn to Ruby, I cannot understand how S5!Sam (or really any Sam) can be this fucking stupid.
Samuel and his OMGEVOL!11!phone conversation? I think I'm supposed to care who he's on the phone with. I don't. You know why Ruby was interesting? She was morally ambiguous for a long time there, we genuinely didn't know where to stand on her. This guy? Is not interesting, will never be interesting. I really need this storyline off my show.
Please be honest, Lisa. Because you're kind of perfect.
She told him to leave! Because she is SO RIGHT that she shouldn't have to put up with this every five minutes and Dean is always going to run back to Sam. I love how Lisa knows how much Dean loves Sam. Dean knows how much Dean loves Sam. And Sam is using it against him and not earning it at all. By "I love how..." I mean, "I'm going to kill myself."
I love the part about it not having to be one or the other with them. She's so wonderfully understanding. I cannot wait for Sam and Dean to be lovers again and Dean and Lisa to fizzle out, but for them to stay friendly and DEAN WILL TAKE THE KID TO FOOTBALL GAMES, and then one day, Sam and Dean will have their own kid(s).
"You come when you can, just come in one piece." - ♥ ♥ ♥
I would like to say his brother will keep him in one piece, but luckily Dean can take care of himself.
I kind of felt this was a little premature because I don't think Sam and Dean are at a place where they need to be together yet, but I can see why Lisa is kicking him out, because she knows where it's going and she really shouldn't have to put up with it.
HAHAHHA. GUYS. We are like lab rats with the conditioning. As soon as the music cue starts, we all know it's Impala time. And OMG, the CARPORN. MY GIRL IS BACK. SHE IS SO SEXY. SHE IS THE BEST CHARACTER IN THIS WHOLE SHOW. I WANT MY BABY GIRL, YESSS. AND DEAN'S FUCKING TINY SMILE LOOKING AT HOW SEXY HIS CAR IS AND GETTING TO HIT THE ROAD WITH HER AGAIN. ORGASM. Best part of the whole episode, even if it came earlier in the season than I think it should. It was beautiful. Jensen's acting was beautiful. I love how well he understands that fucking character.
I am v. intrigued by next episode, and excited to see what they do with the returning characters!
Off to crawl into bed and sneeze and be miserable. Or maybe write. Love you guys. <333
Two and a Half Men Squee Post
Do you still ship it? I kind of do, too.
Dear Recap, please don't show me that hug. It actually makes me uncomfortable. Don't touch me there.
Jensen, you looked delicious this episode. I love that he looks younger now than he has for like two seasons--it makes perfect sense for the character, even if it doesn't make much sense for the Jensen.
They made Ben move again! Dude, the kid just moved. That's so sad.
Sammy, it makes me happy to see you in your "playing a fed" outfit with your hair blowing everywhere. I miss you, kid :(
HAHAHAHHA--WHO CAUGHT HOW GAY DEAN'S HAND MOTION WAS ON "YOU KEEP THE CHANGE"? That pizza guy was like, "OMG, he's flaming. DOES HE LIKE MEEEE??"
Lisssssssaaaaa. This man is not safe to have around your childdddd.
SAM, NO HAVING THE "IT'S NOT OUR KIND OF JOB" CONVERSATION WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT YOUR BROTHER.
It does actually matter if it's people or a shifter doing it, Samuel, because Sam knows Dean would not want him blowing holes in people. It's called having humanity. I would not expect you to understand.
"Am I boring you? You got some place to be?" - Yes, he has a brother to be with, actually.
"Sometimes I wonder about you, Sam."
"Sometimes I wonder about me, too."
Why is Sam Winchester letting this asshole bully him around? I would really like to know. Because even when he has doubts about himself, Sam Winchester does not roll over and ask people who are abusing him to keep at it. Remember John? Remember his actual character?
Samuel, stop complaining about research. You're not Dean. You're not cute. You're not even interesting as a plot point. You storyline is destroying this show.
Dean and Ben! Okay, for my part, I don't think Dean really blew up more than he should--the kid was playing with a gun and talking about being a hunter. I love Dean Winchester so much for his conviction that the kid will never be a hunter.
But I see why you are sad you blew up at him, Dean. I think you are realizing you are a better mommy than a daddy. It's okay. When you and Sam adopt a baby, he will definitely be the daddy.
OMG. This moment where Lisa and Dean are both realizing he doesn't belong here, with the "monsters in general" line? Breaking my heart. I mean, the poor guy just wants to settle down and make some people he cares about's lives easier, and he ends up scaring the crap out of them. Because he's that incapable of living like a normal person. TRAGEDY.
"I need you with me." - :( Sam, I kind of don't even believe that you feel that way, and you know I want to.
Ah, but as usual, top!Sam says jump, and Dean Winchester shows up in a field to go hunting with his little brother.
Gutenberg? Really Sam? Well, at least he still sucks at references. There's some character continuity.
He taught Lisa how to use a gun! That's kind of sad.
I love that she knows he wants to go. Lisa, you are so perfect and so sad. I mean, she still doesn't make sense to me, but I think it's the actress I have a complaint with, because her lines are perfect and would add up to a good character if they were played in a way that makes any sense.
LOLOLOL. She's gonna shoot him if he doesn't get out. Lissssaaaa! Let me tell you, there is something fundamentally wrong with the world when Lisa is the second most interesting character in an episode.
"Bet you're missing your ex right now? The boring one?" + The little goodbye kiss = OMG. DEAN AND LISA. WHY SO KIND OF ADORABLE?
I think that shot of her face was supposed to be an "I know I've lost him and I'm sad" look. Which is excellent, so I will pretend it was there instead of her just staring forward blankly. Bad acting, let me show you it.
"Your car should drive, not be a little bitch." - OMG. DEAN WINCHESTER. And Sam's car so totally would be a little bitch to him. This was perfect. I wish this moment had been 40 minutes long.
Okay, the entire fucking scene in the grocery store with the diaper shopping made my entire life happy. THEY WERE SUCH A GAY COUPLE. DO YOU PEOPLE SEE WHY I WANT SAM AND DEAN TO RAISE 800 black BABIES? I DON'T EVEN LIKE BABIES, BUT I NEED THEM TO HAVE A BABY. I CANNOT BELIEVE I WAS SEEING THAT. It was so cute. So cute.
"Everyone's staring at us like we're child abusers!" LOL
Dean's response to a crying baby is to cry back at it? ILU, BB.
Dean says Bobby, Sam says John. That could have been such a well-done character moment if they weren't banging us over the head with this shit the rest of the episodes.
Sam, don't you know your brother well enough to know he wouldn't tell a nice old lady he's going to stab her in the neck without a reason? I mean, really.
They worked so well together in this scene! Getaway car! <3_<3
I kept thinking the shifters had black eyes and were half-demons or something. Was it just me that thought they had black eyes? I guess so, they would have addressed that, I think.
"I'll pay you money if you sit still." and Sam's little laugh! He is in love with mommy!Dean for obvious reasons \:D/
He *actually* told his brother he was father material. Umm, guys...you wanna tell them, or should I?
Dean feels like Ben is hisssss. I feel that way, too, Dean.
How could Sam Winchester ever tell Dean that he is acting like John Winchester to his face? How? With all the problems he had with John and if he knew his brother (which he is supposed to do) and thre fact that Dean will never completely come to terms with what John did to them? Even had it been true (which it wasn't, this entire episode was about how Dean is not letting a kid be raised a hunter), HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT TO HIM? Who is this person wearing Sam's face? Because I love Sam Winchester's character a lot, and I find it offensive that I am supposed to pretend this unlikable person is him.
I get that you come back from Hell changed, but some of him has to be the same person, or why don't you change his name and stop slandering Sam Winchester with this pathetic attempt at characterization all together? We worked for 5 seasons to get the Sam Winchester we had at the end of Season 5, a Sam who made the ultimate sacrifice because he was a complete, strong person and could make hard decisions on his own. Dean was trusting him to. Sam is supposed to be a complete person who can make important and obvious decisions on his own. He is not supposed to need Dean to be his moral compass anymore. We earned that, and it was HARD EARNED. To fling THIS SAM at us after we worked so hard for that one? Is an insult to this entire show.
Dean does hard rock lullabies. Every fanfiction ever has just been Kripke'd.
Dude, I have decided Sam doesn't want Dean doing it differently because he's that in love with mommy!Dean.
Dean is Sam's housewife. Staying home with the kid! OH, I CANNOT HANDLE IT <3_<3
Annndddd...Dean is back on the bottle. Do you see what you've done to him, Sam? Do you see? I'm like 80% sure he was only slightly alcoholic before you showed up again. HE AND LISA MADE PROGRESS.
But OMG. HE GAVE THE BABY WHISKEY SAND THEN SAID "It's good, isn't it?" AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA--DEAN, ILU. DEAN IS STILL DEAN.
Sam's hair is stupid again. :DDDDDDDD
Hah, shapeshifter baby? I totally wrote season 6 only without the insufferable Sam.
Also, how much do I love that it turned into the little black baby from the diaper box? CLEVER. I WANT DEAN TO RAISE A CUTE BLACK BABY BECAUSE THEY ARE THE ONLY CUTE BABIES IN THE WORLD.
What's wrong, Dean? Magic fingers not doing it for you anymore? Maybe you need your brother's magic fingers instead.
"You think?" as he holds up the little black baby, oh man, I am dying. And when the shifter said he's the father and Dean goes "I'm not seeing the resemblance." I love him, he's so snarky and wonderful ^_^
Sam: I didn't even know shifters had babies. I thought they were freaks of nature.
Dean: It's not really a monster, it's still just a baby.
*sigh* No, really, I'll buy you a hammer and then you can just bang me over the head with that instead.
NO, SAM. SAMUEL WILL NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO. Good God, how are we supposed to believe he is this stupid? This guy went to Stanford. This guy did outrageously well on his LSATs. This guy has been smart for 5 seasons. And now I am just supposed to buy that he is idiotically joining a cult and letting them brain wash him because they're "family", as if Sam doesn't have a better definition of family by now? I'm sorry, but why would they even want to go this far out of their way to sabotage the character? How am I supposed to like this character? Because I REALLY like Sam Winchester. And this guy? I don't even not care about this guy--I straight up dislike him.
Yes, Sam, every hunter is a headcase. You once knew that, when you were a decent character.
Gwen, I really, really fucking hate you.
"You just stand there and think at me." - OMG, Dean. Thank you for saving this episode with your snark. I love you SO MUCH for not trusting them. So. Much.
Sam, dude, don't tell him it's okay. It's not okay. I swear you're smart enough to know that. You actually just took the baby from your brother knowing he would not refuse you and betrayed him by handing it right to the person Dean did not want holding it.
Did this guy actually just MAKE A JOKE about what happened to Dean in Hell? And Sam says nothing? And when Dean understandably gets upset, Sam says "take it easy, man, he's my brother" like Dean is retarded and Sam knows he's being stupid, but don't pick on him, he's just not very bright. Sam is being so condescending to Dean for the last two episodes, and now this? I don't even fucking ship it.
Dean, take the baby and runnnnnn.
Dude, the shifters killed a Campbell. TEAM BABY-NAPPING, MOTHER-KILLING SHIFTERS! It's like that.
"We're gonna box him up." - What are you starting a fucking monster zoo?
Sam shifter looks so yummy. OmnomJarednom. And it definitely looked like he and real!Sam were going to make out for a moment there. Relevant to mai interests!
Instant transformation!shifter! That is BAD. ASS.
NOOOOOOO, ALPHA SHIFTER. DON'T TAKE DEAN'S LITTLE BLACK BABY. :( Now you are on my shit list again.
I thought maybe the Sam at the end was shifter!Sam which explains why he's such an asshole, but then, no, probably not. Sam is kind of being that much of an asshole on his own. Using a baby as bait. Fuck you, not!Sam.
The "I Know What You Did Last Summer" episode explaining how Sam got to be this insufferable better be really fucking intense, because I am not seeing any way to fix this character assassination. I can understand why S3!Sam would turn to Ruby, I cannot understand how S5!Sam (or really any Sam) can be this fucking stupid.
Samuel and his OMGEVOL!11!phone conversation? I think I'm supposed to care who he's on the phone with. I don't. You know why Ruby was interesting? She was morally ambiguous for a long time there, we genuinely didn't know where to stand on her. This guy? Is not interesting, will never be interesting. I really need this storyline off my show.
Please be honest, Lisa. Because you're kind of perfect.
She told him to leave! Because she is SO RIGHT that she shouldn't have to put up with this every five minutes and Dean is always going to run back to Sam. I love how Lisa knows how much Dean loves Sam. Dean knows how much Dean loves Sam. And Sam is using it against him and not earning it at all. By "I love how..." I mean, "I'm going to kill myself."
I love the part about it not having to be one or the other with them. She's so wonderfully understanding. I cannot wait for Sam and Dean to be lovers again and Dean and Lisa to fizzle out, but for them to stay friendly and DEAN WILL TAKE THE KID TO FOOTBALL GAMES, and then one day, Sam and Dean will have their own kid(s).
"You come when you can, just come in one piece." - ♥ ♥ ♥
I would like to say his brother will keep him in one piece, but luckily Dean can take care of himself.
I kind of felt this was a little premature because I don't think Sam and Dean are at a place where they need to be together yet, but I can see why Lisa is kicking him out, because she knows where it's going and she really shouldn't have to put up with it.
HAHAHHA. GUYS. We are like lab rats with the conditioning. As soon as the music cue starts, we all know it's Impala time. And OMG, the CARPORN. MY GIRL IS BACK. SHE IS SO SEXY. SHE IS THE BEST CHARACTER IN THIS WHOLE SHOW. I WANT MY BABY GIRL, YESSS. AND DEAN'S FUCKING TINY SMILE LOOKING AT HOW SEXY HIS CAR IS AND GETTING TO HIT THE ROAD WITH HER AGAIN. ORGASM. Best part of the whole episode, even if it came earlier in the season than I think it should. It was beautiful. Jensen's acting was beautiful. I love how well he understands that fucking character.
I am v. intrigued by next episode, and excited to see what they do with the returning characters!
Off to crawl into bed and sneeze and be miserable. Or maybe write. Love you guys. <333