"I'm dead!" "Condolences."
I think everyone, whether you loved this episode or hated it, needs this icon in their life right now.
Dark Side of the Moon Squee Post
Lalalalala, brotherfucking is awesomesauce. What? Who said that? Incest is *wrong*.
First thing I want to say? Watching In My Time of Dying half an hour before this episode aired? Possibly my poorest life decision ever. I don't think I have ever cried so much over Supernatural as I did today, not even the first time I watched What Is and What Should Never Be. It wasn't cute. You will see a lot of "according to Olivia's" and that is because I hated the world and the Show until she talked me through it and made me see sense. Which is funny because I was loving the entire episode and then the last ten seconds convinced me the whole thing was evil. Where I would be without her, I do not know. Not in fandom, that's for damn sure, and that would mean really sad things for my life.
THAT SAID--THIS IS A POSITIVE REVIEW. You are welcome if you disliked it, but if you only have bad things to say, we're going to disagree. This is my second favorite episode of Season 5 so far.
RECAP: This was kind of a hilarious recap, not even going to lie.
SO MANY BEER CANS IN THAT HOTEL ROOM. Fucking-A, Boys. You really, really need to rethink your living strategy.
I loved Dean's casual "Good morning" to Sam while they had the guns pointed in their faces. Ah, just another day with the Winchesters.
"If you're Walt, then that must be Roy."
Because the two don't exist apart. OIC. You met Sam and Dean at a gay hunter's convention, Y/Y?
DEAN'S FACE WHEN SAME GOT SHOT WAS SO DESTROYED. It was perfect. It wasn't the pain we saw in All Hell Breaks Loose it was just this painfully resolved shattered expression like "How many times am I going to have to live through this?"
Then I loved his response. "Just do it." HE DIDN'T WANT TO LIVE WITHOUT HIS SAM. Which is kind of annoying, because I am totally writing something like that for a Wincest fic I'm working on and now it's going to a) look like I lifted it out of the episode and b) feel really melodramatic considering how much more woeful my scene was going to be. Goddamn you, Show. Can you slow down on Kripkeing my fanfiction until *after* I've written it? Goddamn.
I feel so bad that he knows he'll have to be back. Because we keep getting these Boys saying they wished they'd never been born and, poor things, they can't stop being resurrected. Life is hard for the Winchesters.
OMG. MY SEXUAL ATTRACTION TO THE LINE ABOUT NOT WANTING DEAN WINCHESTER ON YOUR ASS. It really, really excites me when you get someone else's take on how good they are. This is 90% of the reason I can't get enough of Henrickson. I also really adore that they know how much trouble they would be in for killing Sam if Dean's still around.
The Impala is in Dean's Heaven. Yes, yes, MFYES.
COLIN FORD. SEEING HIS FACE BRINGS ME SO MUCH JOY IT IS UNBEARABLE. I don't even think I can make intelligent commentary on this scene. It is, by far, one of my favorite scenes in the entire series. Even when you don't take into account that I have read that Wincest fic before. But seriously, him and Jensen have great chemistry and we've never gotten to see them work together, but Colin really gets that character and has the perfect big brother aww. The way he looked at Dean. And Jensen's faces in this scene. I just. The volume I was crying at made my roommate (who is generally really accepting and does her best not to say anything about how crazy I am over this show) say "Seriously? You're crying already?" WHEN SAM HUGGED HIM. THIS IS THE FIRST THING HE SEE IN HEAVEN. OMG, HIS FACES. LOOKING AT HIS LITTLE BROTHER. SO PROUD TO BE MAKING HIM THAT HAPPY. And then when they are looking at the fireworks. I swear, Dean Winchester has never once in the history of this Show looked so happy. I. fuck. My heart. Fuck. FUCK YOU, SHOW.
So Dean says "Strange dream." when he first sees Sam and clearly is happy about that dream. When Cas starts talking through the radio? "Cas, you need to stay out of my dreams, I need some me time." Do I need to go into this, or is just throwing the underlines out there for consideration enough?
Cas talking through the radio was very Good Omens, though in a fun ironic way since that's how Hell talked to its minions. Just thought that was fun.
Dean: I'm dead.
Castiel: Condolences.
Me: ♥_♥
I love, love, LOVE that it was a road for Dean. OF COURSE it's going to be a road for Dean.
If you follow the road, you will find Sam. Drive into Heaven and you will find Sam. Down the road in Dean's Heaven is Sam's thanksgiving memory. Yes, that means they share space. Yes, that means that later on in the episode when you find out that only happens to soul mates, it's pointing at them. Yes this is one of about 800 references to that line I will make in this entry and, in all honesty, in every conversation I have for the rest of my life. Deal with it.
Wow, Dean is epic judging your Heaven. I am, too, Sammich.
So, Olivia pointed this out to me and I cannot help repeating it because on my second viewing (yeah, I watched it again, suck my dick) of this scene, I caught it and it was perfect. Sam asks what he's doing in his dream and Dean winks at him. Not in an overt playful way. Just in an intimate "I got your number, kid." way. It was sexy. It screamed "I know you dream about us having sex, even when we're not having sex." Which is not to say that am going back on my thinking that they've been having sex since My Bloody Valentine, though I do think they won't be having it again after this episode for a good long time. But when they get it back? It will be for good. Also: the dreamwalking!Sam wandering into Dean's dream about them? Also just got Kripke'd. SHOW, GIVE ME FIVE MINUTES TO WRITE MY WINCEST FIC BEFORE YOU BRING IT UP.
SAM WINCHESTER. DOES NOT THINK. HE BELONGS IN HEAVEN. Allow my to show you my heart. I have it in this box over here, which is carrying the THREE THOUSAND PIECES IT HAS BEEN BROKEN INTO. You're such a good person, Sammy. And Dean's response? "You had good intentions." He doesn't even entertain the idea that his baby brother is supposed to go to Hell. BOYS.
I am so saddened by all of their holiday memories. As someone who never had real holiday celebrations, I totally understand why this Thanksgiving meant so much to him. Those of us who didn't have to suffer through traditions get pretty attached to the idea. But I also understand where poor Dean is coming from. He tried so hard to give his Sammy a happy childhood and all Sam has to say is "A bucket of extra crispy and Dad passed out on the couch." THEIR LIVES WERE SO FUCKING SAD FOR SUCH DIFFERENT REASONS BUT I LOVE THEM BOT SO MUCH FOR IT AND WOE.
Ok! A lot of this is Olivia and a little bit of it is me, but all of it is necessary. This road to Heaven is when you relive your greatest hits, life flashing before your eyes, etc. This is not the same as your Heaven, which is a solid place: the Roadhouse for Ash, a concert for Pamela. The Winchesters did not stay long enough to settle into their Heaven, so this is not their (shared!) Heaven, though it is their happiest memories and that means the angst this episode causes is still relevant, but no need to gauge out our eyes. Also? As we learn later in the episode, Zachariah is in control of their Heaven. OBVIOUSLY Sam's happiest memories did not all exclude Dean. He let Dean have his happy memories, let him catch on to the fact that that's what they were seeing, and then carefully chose which of Sam's memories got played out. They were happy, yes, but I think if this was a less biased selection of memories, we would be seeing a lot of Sam's favorite big brother moments, including the first time they had sex. It's also worth mentioning (and again, this is all Olivia) that Dean's memories, while happy, were not perfect. The kitchen scene? He got something he loved and lost, but he also had to deal with his parent's unhappiness and that is about the most hurtful thing a kid can go through. Sam going to Stanford? He got something he wanted: independence and escaping from Dad, that doesn't mean it was perfect and that letting Dean go (and knowing that by leaving him, his parent figure will be unhappy) was a good part of the memory to him or he didn't care (also, he didn't realize just how much it would hurt Dean--little brother syndrome is accurate). His life was flashing before his eyes. His whole life.
Don't go into the light. - LOL. Thanks, Cas. Invaluable advice.
ZACHARIAH IS LOOKING FOR YOU. RUN, MOTHERFUCKERS, RUN.
Oh my God, did I love touchy!Cas. He is getting so human!
Cas can't return to Heaven. :(
Dean is praying now! Last hope of a desperate man. And it is about to be crushed. Like. my. soul.
Dean thinks the road is in the closet. Sam thinks that's a stupid idea. It's like playing Where's Waldo?: Find the Proud Homosexual edition. Dean is clearly Odlaw, Waldo's evil brother. Only instead of evil, he just needs a little more time to accept his incestuous sexuality.
Also trippy? Apparently, you WUV HUGZ. - Ahem. I Love these Boys.
Dean's Heaven makes me cry. So many mommy issues this season, jesus.
Poor Sammy doesn't get to join in on mommy time :(
Jensen is so good at being a little kid. But this scene was so sad. Dean's golden soul does not begin with carrying Sam out of the nursery! And he is emotionally stunted in this moment. I am so fucking tragic right now it's disgusting. This character, I don't even know how to handle it.
Pie--Dean's the only thing about Dean left that was not tragic. And now it's tied to mommy issues. He is officially 100% tragic. Kill me, please kill me. It would be a mercy. DON'T ANY OF YOU PEOPLE HAVE EMOTIONS?
"It wasn't perfect until after she died." - Alright, show. Between this episode and My Bloody Valentine, I wash my hands of the John/Mary ship forever.
Sam's face when he was looking at Dean comforting their mom? It was falling in Love with him allover again. It was so sad and perfect.
I really, really loved how much they learned about each other in this episode. I mean, what Dean learned was bad, but it will eventually lead to a healthier relationship between them. Sam's repeated "I never thought about it that way." ? Or the "I never realized how long you've been cleaning up Dad's messes." It's SO little brother of him. Dean really raised him to that and realizing it hurt him, maybe he didn't understand it, but it's character appropriate and they will both understand each other so much better after they recover from this.
Jared's face glows when he gets to play with Bones. *_* ILUSFM, Jared.
And Dean is still upset with baby!Sam. Though, running away for two weeks was maybe a little excessive. But I am just so sad for them. They wanted different things and neither ever got it. At least Sam tried to get it, and you know what Dean? It's because you tried to give it to him that he went for any of those things.
OMG. THE NIGHT SAM LEFT FOR STANFORD. "This is one of the worst night's of my life." DEAN WINCHESTER. YOU ARE SO, SO SAD. I LOVE THAT CHARACTER, I LOVE HIM. I LOVE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH. HE IS SO SAD. AND SAM. SAM NEVER GOT THE CRUSTS CUT OFF HIS PB & J. I just. I don't want to go into a pity party here, but I really understand where both of them are coming from. Resenting Dean a little for having those memories? I'm a little sister, too, Sammy. I know where you're coming from, dude. And the fact that Dean clings to so many memories of his mom from when he was 4? He did a hell of a better job at that than I did, and he's way more screwed up about it as a result, but it's really really sad. He never had anything else to be happy about just for himself after four years old. All the rest of his happiness came from giving to Sammy (see: July 4th, 1996). I just wish they could understand each other, because neither of them is wrong here, they're just different people.
BOYS AGAINST THE WORLD.
Zachariah. I live in fear. He is officially the #1 scariest bad guy on Supernatural IMO. Sorry, Azazel. I really hope Dean gets that kill. Cas can has Michael. And SAM IS GANKING THE DEVIL, MOTHERFUCKERS.
I love seeing Ash and I love how happy they were to see the Roadhouse. And Ash talking about Heaven. "It's a buttload of places." He's my favorite super genius in the history of ever.
"Like Disneyworld without all the anti-semitism...and in the center? Magic Kingdom." - YES, ACTUALLY. MY HEAVEN IS MAGIC KINGDOM.
I...am really, really shocked I am about to say this, because I have weird death issues and never like to think a bout it because no answer has ever been satisfactory to me, but I sort of like this take on Heaven. Soul mates share. That's important. Olivia--are you ready for eternity in Magic Kingdom? Because you are so coming to my Heaven :)
I already squeed about this but: SAM AND DEAN SHARE HEAVEN. SOUL MATES SHARE HEAVEN. And when he said this? Dean did this really great stealth glance over while they were trying not to acknowledge it. THEY SHARE A HEAVEN AND THEY RECOGNIZED IT AND THEY ARE SOUL MATES. THEY. SAID. THAT. OUT LOUD. IN CANON. I don't need anything else to survive. For the rest of my life. No food, no water. Sam and Dean Winchester are canonically soul mates.
Jo and Ellen went down fighting alright. Love those girls. Loved that death. WARRIORS DEATH, FTMFW. <33333
Wow, Pamela get the fuck out. Who cares about you? I already disliked your character and now I hate you even more. Bringing Ash back for fanservice was at least useful. She was worthless and a douche. DIAF, Pamela.
Dean: We got Ash killed, too.
Ash: I'M COOL WITH IT!
Dean: He's cool with it!
ASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! ♥_♥
You need Ash's crazy skillz to Heaven jump. Unless you are Dean and want to get to Sam's or Sam and want to get to Dean's, in which case you need only drive a little in your own Heaven. Because you share. Because you are soul mates. In canon. I'm a shark, I'm a shark, suck my dick, I'm a shark.
LOL. Ash will be seeing you guys again soon. And eww, dude. Stop kissing Dean, Pamela. You are way too old for that.
WOW. MAKING MARY SAY THOSE THINGS. THIS IS LOW, EVEN FOR YOU ANGEL DICKS. OMG. IT IS SO SICK. I swear this is like all the Wincest fic I have read where Dean's in Hell and it's Sam being mean to him, etc. EXCEPT IT'S NOT HELL, IT'S HEAVEN. THEY ARE SO SICK. ANGELS ARE SO SICK.
And I really love how angry and protective Sam gets when Zach shows up and reveals that he's responsible for warping Dean's Heaven.
monjinator--I FINALLY SAW YOUR TAMPON COMMERCIAL! \o/
OMFG. HE KISSED MARY. OMFG. I SQUIRMED AND CRIED OUT NO. SO WRONG. SO DIRTY. SO TERRIFYING.
"In Heaven, I have 6 wings and 4 faces, one of which is a lion." - GET A BIGGER DICK, ZACHARIAH.
HEY, HEY. THEY ARE MY PATHETIC FLANNEL WEARING MAGGOTS.
Zachariah actually in all honesty IS the last person in the history of creation I want as my enemy. I can think of no character off the top of my head who terrifies me like he does.
Thank God this guy interfered. I WAS TREMBLING IN MY WEE BOOTS.
"It's nice...ish." - Cleveland Botanical Garden. They went on a field trip. Dean was Sam chaperon. He probably didn't have as much fun there as Sam did. But they both see it. Because like any soul mates, they share Heaven. I am just saying. Just saying, that is what I am doing.
God is on Earth! OH YEAH.
"My heart is breaking for him." - ♥
Back off?!?! SERIOUSLY, GOD? SHOW, ILU. GOD HAS LEFT THE BUILDING. \o/
"Just another dead beat dad with a bunch of excuses." - I really like that you hate John Winchester as much as I do this season, Deancakes.
Oh, good. God is rooting for the Boys. At least he has good taste in heart throbs!
CASTIEL. SO HEART BROKEN. OMG. HIS FACE. HE HURT ME. HE HURTS ME SO MUCH. OMG. CASTIEL. Castiel, OMG. HE CURSED AT GOD. HE HAS LOST HIS FAITH. NO LOSING FAITH, BOYS. Dean was finally getting some and IT GOT SHIT ALLOVER. And Sam? Sam still believes. Sammmmmmmmyyyy.
Alright, the Amulet of Incestuous Glory! This is a hell of a subject to tackle. I know most of you hate it. I hated it, too, at first. I cried for an hour after the show ended, I called my mother and told her I was done with the show, and I was literally ready to quit. I just want you all to know that I am not someone who takes this amulet lightly, okay? I have been bitching about it all. season. long. But I love, love, love what they did with it now, because I am blessed with a best friend who is both brilliant and who will sit on the phone with me for an hour somehow understanding me through my sobs and talking me off the ledge. I WAS ON THE LEDGE FOR REAL AND SHE PULLED ME BACK! If you have her added as a friend, I highly recommend you read her post because she says it better than I will ever be able to and wins at thinky thoughtness.
If you don't have her added, I will briefly cover it as her thoughts are now my thoughts on the subject, and they are positive, life-affirming thoughts. For starters, I did not even when I was hating my life doubt that Sam was going to fish that amulet out of there. We will see it again. Sam's heart broken face watching Dean throw it away was truly awful, but Sam still has faith and when he proves himself to Dean--and we know he knows he will and he wants to, because we can assume without a doubt that he grabbed that out of there to give it back to him once he's proven himself. He's going to give it back, and Dean is going to cherish it, and we will know better than with all of the long conversations we have written into our post-Apocalyptic schmoop fics in that moment that they will be good again, though in a healthier way in which they see each other as equals. It's going to be a beautiful moment, guys, and we will be so thankful for it by then, because there's going to be a lot more pain before we get it. AND THEN SAM IS GOING TO GANK THE MOTHERFUCKING DEVIL WITH HIS BROTHER AT HIS SIDE. And as much as I wanted to see him put it on, him throwing it out is not as dismal as it seems. Let's recall that if Dean was going to throw it away as a sign of his disregard for Sam, he would have done this around When the Levee Breaks or Lucifer Rising, but he keeps wearing it and is super reluctant to let it go even after Lucifer is freed and Dean tries to dump him in the parking lot. It's now when he's been without it for months, even as he and Sam have been healing, now that it is tied to things other than Sam, including Castiel's failed search for God and how much that crushed his own desperate try for faith, that he lets it go. And yes, it is also a reaction to what he saw in Heaven regarding Sam's memories, but it was impulsive--he is heart broken and constantly being crushed by everything he believes in and he's tired of holding onto things he loves only to have them crushed. So he tried to let go of that on impulse. You bet your sweet ass he's going to regret it pretty quickly, and when Sam gives it back to him? It's going to be one of my favorite Wincesty moments ever.
In conclusion: I, too, am fucking done with this Apocalypse. I want this season to be over (not that I don't like it, I just can't handle the stress of not knowing). I want to know it all for sure. I am tired of waiting and worrying. I was not built for this "watching TV live" thing. Season 6? Is going to be awesome. I just want my in Love Boys to be them again.
Also, I am staying completely spoiler-free for the next episode just to see if I like it because I've never tried it before. All I know about it right now is that Sam Winchester has 99 Problems and they all bitches. Who else thinks I'll crack in three says? Two days? Wanna start a betting pool? :P
Why yes I do have to be up in 45 minutes. This was incredibly bad planning. But I had to take 7 hours to heal and collect myself after this episode. Besides I'MA GET DRUUUNKKK tomorrow night. So I clearly will be sleeping like a baby all day Saturday :D.
Dark Side of the Moon Squee Post
Lalalalala, brotherfucking is awesomesauce. What? Who said that? Incest is *wrong*.
First thing I want to say? Watching In My Time of Dying half an hour before this episode aired? Possibly my poorest life decision ever. I don't think I have ever cried so much over Supernatural as I did today, not even the first time I watched What Is and What Should Never Be. It wasn't cute. You will see a lot of "according to Olivia's" and that is because I hated the world and the Show until she talked me through it and made me see sense. Which is funny because I was loving the entire episode and then the last ten seconds convinced me the whole thing was evil. Where I would be without her, I do not know. Not in fandom, that's for damn sure, and that would mean really sad things for my life.
THAT SAID--THIS IS A POSITIVE REVIEW. You are welcome if you disliked it, but if you only have bad things to say, we're going to disagree. This is my second favorite episode of Season 5 so far.
RECAP: This was kind of a hilarious recap, not even going to lie.
SO MANY BEER CANS IN THAT HOTEL ROOM. Fucking-A, Boys. You really, really need to rethink your living strategy.
I loved Dean's casual "Good morning" to Sam while they had the guns pointed in their faces. Ah, just another day with the Winchesters.
"If you're Walt, then that must be Roy."
Because the two don't exist apart. OIC. You met Sam and Dean at a gay hunter's convention, Y/Y?
DEAN'S FACE WHEN SAME GOT SHOT WAS SO DESTROYED. It was perfect. It wasn't the pain we saw in All Hell Breaks Loose it was just this painfully resolved shattered expression like "How many times am I going to have to live through this?"
Then I loved his response. "Just do it." HE DIDN'T WANT TO LIVE WITHOUT HIS SAM. Which is kind of annoying, because I am totally writing something like that for a Wincest fic I'm working on and now it's going to a) look like I lifted it out of the episode and b) feel really melodramatic considering how much more woeful my scene was going to be. Goddamn you, Show. Can you slow down on Kripkeing my fanfiction until *after* I've written it? Goddamn.
I feel so bad that he knows he'll have to be back. Because we keep getting these Boys saying they wished they'd never been born and, poor things, they can't stop being resurrected. Life is hard for the Winchesters.
OMG. MY SEXUAL ATTRACTION TO THE LINE ABOUT NOT WANTING DEAN WINCHESTER ON YOUR ASS. It really, really excites me when you get someone else's take on how good they are. This is 90% of the reason I can't get enough of Henrickson. I also really adore that they know how much trouble they would be in for killing Sam if Dean's still around.
The Impala is in Dean's Heaven. Yes, yes, MFYES.
COLIN FORD. SEEING HIS FACE BRINGS ME SO MUCH JOY IT IS UNBEARABLE. I don't even think I can make intelligent commentary on this scene. It is, by far, one of my favorite scenes in the entire series. Even when you don't take into account that I have read that Wincest fic before. But seriously, him and Jensen have great chemistry and we've never gotten to see them work together, but Colin really gets that character and has the perfect big brother aww. The way he looked at Dean. And Jensen's faces in this scene. I just. The volume I was crying at made my roommate (who is generally really accepting and does her best not to say anything about how crazy I am over this show) say "Seriously? You're crying already?" WHEN SAM HUGGED HIM. THIS IS THE FIRST THING HE SEE IN HEAVEN. OMG, HIS FACES. LOOKING AT HIS LITTLE BROTHER. SO PROUD TO BE MAKING HIM THAT HAPPY. And then when they are looking at the fireworks. I swear, Dean Winchester has never once in the history of this Show looked so happy. I. fuck. My heart. Fuck. FUCK YOU, SHOW.
So Dean says "Strange dream." when he first sees Sam and clearly is happy about that dream. When Cas starts talking through the radio? "Cas, you need to stay out of my dreams, I need some me time." Do I need to go into this, or is just throwing the underlines out there for consideration enough?
Cas talking through the radio was very Good Omens, though in a fun ironic way since that's how Hell talked to its minions. Just thought that was fun.
Dean: I'm dead.
Castiel: Condolences.
Me: ♥_♥
I love, love, LOVE that it was a road for Dean. OF COURSE it's going to be a road for Dean.
If you follow the road, you will find Sam. Drive into Heaven and you will find Sam. Down the road in Dean's Heaven is Sam's thanksgiving memory. Yes, that means they share space. Yes, that means that later on in the episode when you find out that only happens to soul mates, it's pointing at them. Yes this is one of about 800 references to that line I will make in this entry and, in all honesty, in every conversation I have for the rest of my life. Deal with it.
Wow, Dean is epic judging your Heaven. I am, too, Sammich.
So, Olivia pointed this out to me and I cannot help repeating it because on my second viewing (yeah, I watched it again, suck my dick) of this scene, I caught it and it was perfect. Sam asks what he's doing in his dream and Dean winks at him. Not in an overt playful way. Just in an intimate "I got your number, kid." way. It was sexy. It screamed "I know you dream about us having sex, even when we're not having sex." Which is not to say that am going back on my thinking that they've been having sex since My Bloody Valentine, though I do think they won't be having it again after this episode for a good long time. But when they get it back? It will be for good. Also: the dreamwalking!Sam wandering into Dean's dream about them? Also just got Kripke'd. SHOW, GIVE ME FIVE MINUTES TO WRITE MY WINCEST FIC BEFORE YOU BRING IT UP.
SAM WINCHESTER. DOES NOT THINK. HE BELONGS IN HEAVEN. Allow my to show you my heart. I have it in this box over here, which is carrying the THREE THOUSAND PIECES IT HAS BEEN BROKEN INTO. You're such a good person, Sammy. And Dean's response? "You had good intentions." He doesn't even entertain the idea that his baby brother is supposed to go to Hell. BOYS.
I am so saddened by all of their holiday memories. As someone who never had real holiday celebrations, I totally understand why this Thanksgiving meant so much to him. Those of us who didn't have to suffer through traditions get pretty attached to the idea. But I also understand where poor Dean is coming from. He tried so hard to give his Sammy a happy childhood and all Sam has to say is "A bucket of extra crispy and Dad passed out on the couch." THEIR LIVES WERE SO FUCKING SAD FOR SUCH DIFFERENT REASONS BUT I LOVE THEM BOT SO MUCH FOR IT AND WOE.
Ok! A lot of this is Olivia and a little bit of it is me, but all of it is necessary. This road to Heaven is when you relive your greatest hits, life flashing before your eyes, etc. This is not the same as your Heaven, which is a solid place: the Roadhouse for Ash, a concert for Pamela. The Winchesters did not stay long enough to settle into their Heaven, so this is not their (shared!) Heaven, though it is their happiest memories and that means the angst this episode causes is still relevant, but no need to gauge out our eyes. Also? As we learn later in the episode, Zachariah is in control of their Heaven. OBVIOUSLY Sam's happiest memories did not all exclude Dean. He let Dean have his happy memories, let him catch on to the fact that that's what they were seeing, and then carefully chose which of Sam's memories got played out. They were happy, yes, but I think if this was a less biased selection of memories, we would be seeing a lot of Sam's favorite big brother moments, including the first time they had sex. It's also worth mentioning (and again, this is all Olivia) that Dean's memories, while happy, were not perfect. The kitchen scene? He got something he loved and lost, but he also had to deal with his parent's unhappiness and that is about the most hurtful thing a kid can go through. Sam going to Stanford? He got something he wanted: independence and escaping from Dad, that doesn't mean it was perfect and that letting Dean go (and knowing that by leaving him, his parent figure will be unhappy) was a good part of the memory to him or he didn't care (also, he didn't realize just how much it would hurt Dean--little brother syndrome is accurate). His life was flashing before his eyes. His whole life.
Don't go into the light. - LOL. Thanks, Cas. Invaluable advice.
ZACHARIAH IS LOOKING FOR YOU. RUN, MOTHERFUCKERS, RUN.
Oh my God, did I love touchy!Cas. He is getting so human!
Cas can't return to Heaven. :(
Dean is praying now! Last hope of a desperate man. And it is about to be crushed. Like. my. soul.
Dean thinks the road is in the closet. Sam thinks that's a stupid idea. It's like playing Where's Waldo?: Find the Proud Homosexual edition. Dean is clearly Odlaw, Waldo's evil brother. Only instead of evil, he just needs a little more time to accept his incestuous sexuality.
Also trippy? Apparently, you WUV HUGZ. - Ahem. I Love these Boys.
Dean's Heaven makes me cry. So many mommy issues this season, jesus.
Poor Sammy doesn't get to join in on mommy time :(
Jensen is so good at being a little kid. But this scene was so sad. Dean's golden soul does not begin with carrying Sam out of the nursery! And he is emotionally stunted in this moment. I am so fucking tragic right now it's disgusting. This character, I don't even know how to handle it.
Pie--Dean's the only thing about Dean left that was not tragic. And now it's tied to mommy issues. He is officially 100% tragic. Kill me, please kill me. It would be a mercy. DON'T ANY OF YOU PEOPLE HAVE EMOTIONS?
"It wasn't perfect until after she died." - Alright, show. Between this episode and My Bloody Valentine, I wash my hands of the John/Mary ship forever.
Sam's face when he was looking at Dean comforting their mom? It was falling in Love with him allover again. It was so sad and perfect.
I really, really loved how much they learned about each other in this episode. I mean, what Dean learned was bad, but it will eventually lead to a healthier relationship between them. Sam's repeated "I never thought about it that way." ? Or the "I never realized how long you've been cleaning up Dad's messes." It's SO little brother of him. Dean really raised him to that and realizing it hurt him, maybe he didn't understand it, but it's character appropriate and they will both understand each other so much better after they recover from this.
Jared's face glows when he gets to play with Bones. *_* ILUSFM, Jared.
And Dean is still upset with baby!Sam. Though, running away for two weeks was maybe a little excessive. But I am just so sad for them. They wanted different things and neither ever got it. At least Sam tried to get it, and you know what Dean? It's because you tried to give it to him that he went for any of those things.
OMG. THE NIGHT SAM LEFT FOR STANFORD. "This is one of the worst night's of my life." DEAN WINCHESTER. YOU ARE SO, SO SAD. I LOVE THAT CHARACTER, I LOVE HIM. I LOVE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH. HE IS SO SAD. AND SAM. SAM NEVER GOT THE CRUSTS CUT OFF HIS PB & J. I just. I don't want to go into a pity party here, but I really understand where both of them are coming from. Resenting Dean a little for having those memories? I'm a little sister, too, Sammy. I know where you're coming from, dude. And the fact that Dean clings to so many memories of his mom from when he was 4? He did a hell of a better job at that than I did, and he's way more screwed up about it as a result, but it's really really sad. He never had anything else to be happy about just for himself after four years old. All the rest of his happiness came from giving to Sammy (see: July 4th, 1996). I just wish they could understand each other, because neither of them is wrong here, they're just different people.
BOYS AGAINST THE WORLD.
Zachariah. I live in fear. He is officially the #1 scariest bad guy on Supernatural IMO. Sorry, Azazel. I really hope Dean gets that kill. Cas can has Michael. And SAM IS GANKING THE DEVIL, MOTHERFUCKERS.
I love seeing Ash and I love how happy they were to see the Roadhouse. And Ash talking about Heaven. "It's a buttload of places." He's my favorite super genius in the history of ever.
"Like Disneyworld without all the anti-semitism...and in the center? Magic Kingdom." - YES, ACTUALLY. MY HEAVEN IS MAGIC KINGDOM.
I...am really, really shocked I am about to say this, because I have weird death issues and never like to think a bout it because no answer has ever been satisfactory to me, but I sort of like this take on Heaven. Soul mates share. That's important. Olivia--are you ready for eternity in Magic Kingdom? Because you are so coming to my Heaven :)
I already squeed about this but: SAM AND DEAN SHARE HEAVEN. SOUL MATES SHARE HEAVEN. And when he said this? Dean did this really great stealth glance over while they were trying not to acknowledge it. THEY SHARE A HEAVEN AND THEY RECOGNIZED IT AND THEY ARE SOUL MATES. THEY. SAID. THAT. OUT LOUD. IN CANON. I don't need anything else to survive. For the rest of my life. No food, no water. Sam and Dean Winchester are canonically soul mates.
Jo and Ellen went down fighting alright. Love those girls. Loved that death. WARRIORS DEATH, FTMFW. <33333
Wow, Pamela get the fuck out. Who cares about you? I already disliked your character and now I hate you even more. Bringing Ash back for fanservice was at least useful. She was worthless and a douche. DIAF, Pamela.
Dean: We got Ash killed, too.
Ash: I'M COOL WITH IT!
Dean: He's cool with it!
ASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! ♥_♥
You need Ash's crazy skillz to Heaven jump. Unless you are Dean and want to get to Sam's or Sam and want to get to Dean's, in which case you need only drive a little in your own Heaven. Because you share. Because you are soul mates. In canon. I'm a shark, I'm a shark, suck my dick, I'm a shark.
LOL. Ash will be seeing you guys again soon. And eww, dude. Stop kissing Dean, Pamela. You are way too old for that.
WOW. MAKING MARY SAY THOSE THINGS. THIS IS LOW, EVEN FOR YOU ANGEL DICKS. OMG. IT IS SO SICK. I swear this is like all the Wincest fic I have read where Dean's in Hell and it's Sam being mean to him, etc. EXCEPT IT'S NOT HELL, IT'S HEAVEN. THEY ARE SO SICK. ANGELS ARE SO SICK.
And I really love how angry and protective Sam gets when Zach shows up and reveals that he's responsible for warping Dean's Heaven.
monjinator--I FINALLY SAW YOUR TAMPON COMMERCIAL! \o/
OMFG. HE KISSED MARY. OMFG. I SQUIRMED AND CRIED OUT NO. SO WRONG. SO DIRTY. SO TERRIFYING.
"In Heaven, I have 6 wings and 4 faces, one of which is a lion." - GET A BIGGER DICK, ZACHARIAH.
HEY, HEY. THEY ARE MY PATHETIC FLANNEL WEARING MAGGOTS.
Zachariah actually in all honesty IS the last person in the history of creation I want as my enemy. I can think of no character off the top of my head who terrifies me like he does.
Thank God this guy interfered. I WAS TREMBLING IN MY WEE BOOTS.
"It's nice...ish." - Cleveland Botanical Garden. They went on a field trip. Dean was Sam chaperon. He probably didn't have as much fun there as Sam did. But they both see it. Because like any soul mates, they share Heaven. I am just saying. Just saying, that is what I am doing.
God is on Earth! OH YEAH.
"My heart is breaking for him." - ♥
Back off?!?! SERIOUSLY, GOD? SHOW, ILU. GOD HAS LEFT THE BUILDING. \o/
"Just another dead beat dad with a bunch of excuses." - I really like that you hate John Winchester as much as I do this season, Deancakes.
Oh, good. God is rooting for the Boys. At least he has good taste in heart throbs!
CASTIEL. SO HEART BROKEN. OMG. HIS FACE. HE HURT ME. HE HURTS ME SO MUCH. OMG. CASTIEL. Castiel, OMG. HE CURSED AT GOD. HE HAS LOST HIS FAITH. NO LOSING FAITH, BOYS. Dean was finally getting some and IT GOT SHIT ALLOVER. And Sam? Sam still believes. Sammmmmmmmyyyy.
Alright, the Amulet of Incestuous Glory! This is a hell of a subject to tackle. I know most of you hate it. I hated it, too, at first. I cried for an hour after the show ended, I called my mother and told her I was done with the show, and I was literally ready to quit. I just want you all to know that I am not someone who takes this amulet lightly, okay? I have been bitching about it all. season. long. But I love, love, love what they did with it now, because I am blessed with a best friend who is both brilliant and who will sit on the phone with me for an hour somehow understanding me through my sobs and talking me off the ledge. I WAS ON THE LEDGE FOR REAL AND SHE PULLED ME BACK! If you have her added as a friend, I highly recommend you read her post because she says it better than I will ever be able to and wins at thinky thoughtness.
If you don't have her added, I will briefly cover it as her thoughts are now my thoughts on the subject, and they are positive, life-affirming thoughts. For starters, I did not even when I was hating my life doubt that Sam was going to fish that amulet out of there. We will see it again. Sam's heart broken face watching Dean throw it away was truly awful, but Sam still has faith and when he proves himself to Dean--and we know he knows he will and he wants to, because we can assume without a doubt that he grabbed that out of there to give it back to him once he's proven himself. He's going to give it back, and Dean is going to cherish it, and we will know better than with all of the long conversations we have written into our post-Apocalyptic schmoop fics in that moment that they will be good again, though in a healthier way in which they see each other as equals. It's going to be a beautiful moment, guys, and we will be so thankful for it by then, because there's going to be a lot more pain before we get it. AND THEN SAM IS GOING TO GANK THE MOTHERFUCKING DEVIL WITH HIS BROTHER AT HIS SIDE. And as much as I wanted to see him put it on, him throwing it out is not as dismal as it seems. Let's recall that if Dean was going to throw it away as a sign of his disregard for Sam, he would have done this around When the Levee Breaks or Lucifer Rising, but he keeps wearing it and is super reluctant to let it go even after Lucifer is freed and Dean tries to dump him in the parking lot. It's now when he's been without it for months, even as he and Sam have been healing, now that it is tied to things other than Sam, including Castiel's failed search for God and how much that crushed his own desperate try for faith, that he lets it go. And yes, it is also a reaction to what he saw in Heaven regarding Sam's memories, but it was impulsive--he is heart broken and constantly being crushed by everything he believes in and he's tired of holding onto things he loves only to have them crushed. So he tried to let go of that on impulse. You bet your sweet ass he's going to regret it pretty quickly, and when Sam gives it back to him? It's going to be one of my favorite Wincesty moments ever.
In conclusion: I, too, am fucking done with this Apocalypse. I want this season to be over (not that I don't like it, I just can't handle the stress of not knowing). I want to know it all for sure. I am tired of waiting and worrying. I was not built for this "watching TV live" thing. Season 6? Is going to be awesome. I just want my in Love Boys to be them again.
Also, I am staying completely spoiler-free for the next episode just to see if I like it because I've never tried it before. All I know about it right now is that Sam Winchester has 99 Problems and they all bitches. Who else thinks I'll crack in three says? Two days? Wanna start a betting pool? :P
Why yes I do have to be up in 45 minutes. This was incredibly bad planning. But I had to take 7 hours to heal and collect myself after this episode. Besides I'MA GET DRUUUNKKK tomorrow night. So I clearly will be sleeping like a baby all day Saturday :D.