(no subject)
It feels so real that all of this is going on...
It was almost exactly a year ago when all the other shit was hitting the fan.
And now, why again?
I am very excited for the tatoos. Honestly, when I explain it to most people, I hear the same things:
" That is Stupid, what if you don't stay friends?"
" Your so young and this will be on your body forever!"
" Its not even anything meaningful"
Well I do have responses to these "Concerns":
" If we don't stay friends I will look at the tatoo everyday and remember when we were friends and how no matter what happened or what anyone thought of our friendship, we were always there for eachother when we needed it. ALWAYS."
" It will be on my body forever, and I've been thinking about this for a long time, and I decided that I would rather regret something that I did, rather than something that I didn't, and I hope that I will look at it always and smile, because there is a great story behind it."
" It may not be anything meaningful to people who arn't us, but it def. has meaning for Crystal and I, I"m not getting a name or anything tattooed on me, its simply a symbol, and it doesn't have to mean anything to anyone but us."
So thanks to everyone for giving me things to think about and making me confirm what I feel is best. In the end its my body.
Anyways, College is really just around the corner, and I have so much to do in these few short weeks, and yet I still sit here and accomplish none of them. I always say I'm waiting for "this or that", but the truth is I'm scared. I know that once I start packing time will past quicker, and what will I have to show for my time, a couple of boxes that will lead me to my new life. But on the other hand I can't wait to just leave. I want it to be August 21st, the day before I move, because I am excited. I'm growing up, and finally I feel like its the right time. So many times in my life I've felt like I've grown up too fast, that I let my childhood pass me by, afraid to make mistakes, afraid to be young.
Gosh I am such a girl.
New Topic:
Last year around this same time, I couldn't understand why everything was happening.
I guess now I've come to terms with that and I understand it, however..I don't understand what is happening. My best friend Crystal is going through some rough stuff right now, I just don't understand why bad things happen to good people. A question that will daunt humanity for eternity, but honestly? Why? I know one way or another things will turn out, because while it may be hard, things always work out. I do think that going away couldn't happen at a worse time. Although a lot may change in a month.
I guess this is just ONE of the MANY things in life I can't control, I can't make lists for to understand, and no matter how hard I try it won't make sence. I do need to just relax a little bit and let things happen as they may, to let the cards fall where they want. That is a hard thing for me, becasue I always have some sort of plan, and I like logical things.
Things arn't logical.
I'm glad that I have something that takes my mind off of school in the fall, lately that is all that I have been thinking about, and it is stressing me out. But I am thankful for lazy days, and time spent trying to figure other things out.
This turned out longer than expected and now I have to wake up in 5 hours.