Making History (drabble)
Making History; g; Kris-centric; Kris/Tao, Kris/Lay; 871 w.; general, angst
In which Yifan breaks down into bits and pieces during and after the Billboard Awards.
Making History;
Yifan's hands remain quivering even as he rests them on his mid thighs, pressing stiff fingers into his skin and he's sure there would be marks later. He can feel bile rising in his throat and funny thing is, they were all still in the confinements of their hotel rooms, getting dressed for the Billboard Awards.
His mind remains blank, uncaring about repeating his already prepared speech and instead, moments of the past when he was still living in Canada with his family relayed in his mind over and over. Such as when he's watch his mother prepare gourmet meals for them every night, taking in all the spices and aromas that filled the kitchen constantly. Or when he's spend weekends with his father playing catch as his mother and grandmother watch with adoring smiles and quiet little cheers, just like when Yifan announced he was moving to Korea to become an idol. To this day, he remains thankful that his parent's didn't force him to abandon his dreams, but to chase after it, make them his forever.
"Yifan, are you alright?" Yifan almost jumps in his seat when he feels the bed dip slightly from added weight. When did Zitao get here? The leader closes his eyes, leaning his head into Zitao's palm when the latter starts stroking his hair from the side, all loving and with a worried pair of eyes gazing at him. "I'm fine," Yifan says, and is surprised to say the least when Zitao suddenly has his arms locked around the former's neck. Yifan feels fresh, hot tears against his neck, and he laughs, throat quivering and everything. "You're such a crybaby Zitao." Yifan says as he presses into the latter, soothing his back as he quietly shushes him.
"I'm not," Zitao pulls away, his expression defiant, and Yifan laughs even harder, this time more stable than before. "I'm so nervous for today, Yifan. Aren't you?" Yifan freezes. No, he doesn't feel nervous walking on stage at the Billboard Awards. He's not wondering constantly if their efforts for all these years have gone wasted, that in the end, they've failed themselves, but worst of all, everyone else. He just doesn't know, and to this moment, those uncertain feelings still haunt him. "Of course not, I'm so pumped!" He cheers with glimmering crescents, and thankfully, Zitao buys his fake enthusiasm.
Bile still lingers in his throat even after Zitao exits the room.
Now they're all on stage, Yifan the first to enter and he swears his legs are about to give out at any given moment. The rest trail behind him, Yixing silently clinging onto him and unnoticed by others, Yifan grabs him by the waist, hand shaking and knuckles turning white as he grips the fabric of Yixing's shirt just a little too hard. "Yifan, it's okay. You can do this. We can do this, together." Yixing whispers as the MC begins talking, and Yifan can only nod, his expression completely solemn as beads of sweat roll down both sides of his temples.
Bile is still lodged in his throat, and suddenly the air feels tight, and the entire room seems to be spiraling and he feels like he's about to pass out at any given moment, if it weren't for Yixing acting as his personal wall for support, whispering encouraging words to him in his left ear. Suddenly, the MC announces that they won the most popular group award and Yifan stops breathing.
He suddenly remembers blocking his family's numbers from his cell phone, purposely deleting their loving emails towards him, and all the painstaking hours of him and the rest of the members practicing the rigorous dance routines from dawn till dusk. He remembers all the sweat, blood and tears they shed together, crying in the practice rooms late at night, talking among each other about how much they're missing from their families, all the get-togethers, everything.
And when they all watch the slideshow together, of all of them together from the moment of their debut, his vision suddenly becomes blurry, saltwater slowly trickling down his skin. He peers to his side, and he watches as all the members direct their attention to the screen, their noses running and eyes glistening with tears. And when he watches as Zitao and Yixing, little Yixing shed their tears, Yifan finally breaks down.
After years of holding back his tears for the sake of his family, his friends, himself, and his dreams, they finally decide to let go, and Yifan doesn't realize that he's sobbing into his hands until the MC hands him a clean tissue. He slightly bows, taking hold of the cloth and he turns to Yixing, all smiles and tears and the latter says, "Yifan, we did it."
Yifan nods rigorously, and when they all meet up together backstage, Yifan pulls them all together, into one figure, and for a few minutes, they're all clinging to each other, laughing and crying all at the same time. Yifan looks at each and every one of them, sharing charitable smiles and knows that, for as long as he's still alive, he will continue loving his members, being there for them as they all make history together.
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I'm so proud of our 12 dorks <3 We are one!
In which Yifan breaks down into bits and pieces during and after the Billboard Awards.
Making History;
Yifan's hands remain quivering even as he rests them on his mid thighs, pressing stiff fingers into his skin and he's sure there would be marks later. He can feel bile rising in his throat and funny thing is, they were all still in the confinements of their hotel rooms, getting dressed for the Billboard Awards.
His mind remains blank, uncaring about repeating his already prepared speech and instead, moments of the past when he was still living in Canada with his family relayed in his mind over and over. Such as when he's watch his mother prepare gourmet meals for them every night, taking in all the spices and aromas that filled the kitchen constantly. Or when he's spend weekends with his father playing catch as his mother and grandmother watch with adoring smiles and quiet little cheers, just like when Yifan announced he was moving to Korea to become an idol. To this day, he remains thankful that his parent's didn't force him to abandon his dreams, but to chase after it, make them his forever.
"Yifan, are you alright?" Yifan almost jumps in his seat when he feels the bed dip slightly from added weight. When did Zitao get here? The leader closes his eyes, leaning his head into Zitao's palm when the latter starts stroking his hair from the side, all loving and with a worried pair of eyes gazing at him. "I'm fine," Yifan says, and is surprised to say the least when Zitao suddenly has his arms locked around the former's neck. Yifan feels fresh, hot tears against his neck, and he laughs, throat quivering and everything. "You're such a crybaby Zitao." Yifan says as he presses into the latter, soothing his back as he quietly shushes him.
"I'm not," Zitao pulls away, his expression defiant, and Yifan laughs even harder, this time more stable than before. "I'm so nervous for today, Yifan. Aren't you?" Yifan freezes. No, he doesn't feel nervous walking on stage at the Billboard Awards. He's not wondering constantly if their efforts for all these years have gone wasted, that in the end, they've failed themselves, but worst of all, everyone else. He just doesn't know, and to this moment, those uncertain feelings still haunt him. "Of course not, I'm so pumped!" He cheers with glimmering crescents, and thankfully, Zitao buys his fake enthusiasm.
Bile still lingers in his throat even after Zitao exits the room.
Now they're all on stage, Yifan the first to enter and he swears his legs are about to give out at any given moment. The rest trail behind him, Yixing silently clinging onto him and unnoticed by others, Yifan grabs him by the waist, hand shaking and knuckles turning white as he grips the fabric of Yixing's shirt just a little too hard. "Yifan, it's okay. You can do this. We can do this, together." Yixing whispers as the MC begins talking, and Yifan can only nod, his expression completely solemn as beads of sweat roll down both sides of his temples.
Bile is still lodged in his throat, and suddenly the air feels tight, and the entire room seems to be spiraling and he feels like he's about to pass out at any given moment, if it weren't for Yixing acting as his personal wall for support, whispering encouraging words to him in his left ear. Suddenly, the MC announces that they won the most popular group award and Yifan stops breathing.
He suddenly remembers blocking his family's numbers from his cell phone, purposely deleting their loving emails towards him, and all the painstaking hours of him and the rest of the members practicing the rigorous dance routines from dawn till dusk. He remembers all the sweat, blood and tears they shed together, crying in the practice rooms late at night, talking among each other about how much they're missing from their families, all the get-togethers, everything.
And when they all watch the slideshow together, of all of them together from the moment of their debut, his vision suddenly becomes blurry, saltwater slowly trickling down his skin. He peers to his side, and he watches as all the members direct their attention to the screen, their noses running and eyes glistening with tears. And when he watches as Zitao and Yixing, little Yixing shed their tears, Yifan finally breaks down.
After years of holding back his tears for the sake of his family, his friends, himself, and his dreams, they finally decide to let go, and Yifan doesn't realize that he's sobbing into his hands until the MC hands him a clean tissue. He slightly bows, taking hold of the cloth and he turns to Yixing, all smiles and tears and the latter says, "Yifan, we did it."
Yifan nods rigorously, and when they all meet up together backstage, Yifan pulls them all together, into one figure, and for a few minutes, they're all clinging to each other, laughing and crying all at the same time. Yifan looks at each and every one of them, sharing charitable smiles and knows that, for as long as he's still alive, he will continue loving his members, being there for them as they all make history together.
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I'm so proud of our 12 dorks <3 We are one!