Because Self-Control is Hard (ficlet)
Because Self-Control is Hard; Xiumin/Chen; pg-13; 1,200+ words; humor, general
Jongdae can't stop staring at Minseok and everyone is freaked out by it.
Written for this prompt at seoulfulness!
Because Self-Control is Hard;
Minseok isn't exactly one to go all out when it comes to fashion, because he likes subtleties and casual wear because it just suits him better. On camera during recordings, Minseok’s known to be bubbly and bursting with energy when paired with Luhan, however behind the scenes, he’s mostly somber, quiet, a bit of an observer as he watches everything elsefrom a considerable distance. Jongdae likes that, and how his outer appearance mirrors his personality.
Jongdae’s the same way as well, hands perched under his chin, his head flickering down a bit when he’s observing Minseok pouring out a couple of raspberry lemonades for the both of them, their favorite drinks because they like the way the cloying raspberries compliment the tart lemon juice.
Minseok’s skinny jeans clung much too tightly over his thighs, and sometimes his movements were much too stiff as the thick denim fabric halted certain movements. But when he’d forcefully flex his legs when he’d accidentally dropped a raspberry, Jongdae almost loses it because he thinks the latter’s jeans could burst through the seams at any given moment.
He stares at Minseok much too long and hard to realize the eldest is watching him as Jongdae flickers his eyes down from his thighs to his calves, then up to his thighs again as the former shuffles around with the chilled drinks wrapped around his fingers.
“Jongdae, what are you staring at?” Shit Shit Shit.
“Wha―”
“You’re staring again.” Minseok cuts him off, a bit of a nervous laugh slipping through the crack of his lips and Jongdae’s laughing too or, at least he thinks he is but it sounds more like wheezing as his pulsations suddenly quicken and this is the third damn time this week he’s been caught doing this and he’s sure that everyone by now thinks he’s some sort of freak with a staring problem.
“Right, sorry, I, I guess your outfit looks good today is all.” Jongdae’s mouth is working itself too fast and Minseok barely makes out his words. “Does it really?” There’s a badgering tone lingering at the end of his question when he soothes out the folds of his white polo shirt and a small smile begins to unfurl over his lips and Jongdae’s cheeks are now tinted a dull shade of pink. “Yeah, really, um, good.”
Jongdae’s stuttering again and he almost chokes on air when Minseok raises an eyebrow. Well this is splendid; the latter is silently judging him again. Curse him and his inability to be more subtle, he thinks and he wants nothing more than to just disappear within the midst of Minseok right about now.
“Then why do you sound so unsure? Unless you’re lying about it or something.”
“No! Not at all―”
“ Never mind, let’s just watch this movie shall we?” Jongdae couldn't agree more.
Jongdae’s technically not lying when he says he watches Minseok with close eyes because of his loose fashion sense. He does appreciate that what he wears definitely reflects his somber personality, for example like his light and medium weight polo shirts with muted colors and dark washed skinny jeans, comfortable flat shoes, and simple accessories and a clean cut hairstyle with his fringe swept to the side.
Jongdae’s always thought that with age comes an evolved fashion sense, like transforming from bold colors and prints of juvenile graphic tees to something more moderate, formal, and casual when he'd wear his short sleeved, collared polo shirts when he needed something quick to pull over, or plaid shirts that resembles someone like Paul Bunyan when he was in a particularly airy mood, or even an ironed down dress shirt when he'd want to look more presentable to the fans.
Actually, Jongdae's lying, he really doesn't give two shits about what the fuck Minseok's wearing, he really just likes his exposed arms and thighs showing through. All he really wants presently is to run his tongue over the thick expanse of the latter's skin, delving in the taste― and yes, he's aware that these thoughts are sickening and weird as fuck but it's like fuck everything Minseok is hot and nothing else matters.
And then he'd look up and find judging stares from his band mates all over again, and then he'd wonder to himself how long he'd been staring at Minseok with these dirty thoughts lingering in his mind but most importantly how he was watching the latter, was it an empty stare or all-consuming eyes cutting through Minseok's being? And then Jongdae would refuse to think about it any longer and try to cower deeper into his seat in an attempt to disappear into nothingness, when clearly he knows this is an impossible feat.
"Jongdae, can we ask you something?" Shit Shit Shit. He can already feel the stickiness of sweat forming over his forehead and the crevices of the webs of his fingers, and suddenly the air around him feels tight and he can hardly breathe at this point.
"Yeah?" His answer this time was less forced even though a slight crack resounded and he wanted to just, disappear from sight as usual because unconsciously, he was boring eyes into Minseok at the thought of having the latter trapping him between his thighs, no surprise there.
Luhan starts, hooking an arm around Jongdae and immediately, the latter tenses and the other looks smug, "We've noticed your...staring problem for a while now, particularly at Minseok and we're a little worried about you because, this isn't normal."
"I'm just jealous okay?" Jongdae blurts out without a second thought and he doesn’t even realize the gravity of the situation that he's managed to pull himself into until he watches as everyone's lips part in shock, and finally realization hits him, his eyes suddenly grow wide because this was not what he had intended to say, at all.
“But, why?” Minseok asks and Jongdae suddenly feels lightheaded and he wants to either throw up or pass out, or throw up then pass out but now wasn’t exactly the ideal time to do so. “I mean you have an amazing fashion sense, how do you do it?” Well this excuse will have to do for now.
“Jongdae,” Minseok starts, sheepishly scratching the back of his head because really, what else could he do, “you can always borrow them if you’re that envious of my amazing clothes you know.”
Well, that’s true but Jongdae doesn’t really care about his clothes so―
And then Yixing has his arm slung around Jongdae’s waist lazily, placing his lips on the latter’s ear and says, “Your pupils are dilated, my little hornball,” Yixing pulls away momentarily to chuckle and Jongdae gulps much too hard, “you are one terrible liar you motherfu―”
“Okay then!” Jongdae claps his hands together and shoos Luhan and Yixing away from him because he needs oxygen filling his lungs right about now, “I’ll do that from now on, thanks hyung.” And that was the end of that.
“Well I’m glad that’s resolved.” Minseok chirps and saunters over toward Jongdae and the latter averts his attention to his delicious thighs again because―
“Meet me in my room and we can resolve your other minor issue, hm?” Jongdae finally realizes what he meant and why the fuck Luhan and Yixing were chuckling behind closed fingers when he looks down and―
Yeah.