39. This Story, That Ending
Title: This Story, That Ending
For: yunsias
Rating: PG-13
Other pairings: bff!Xiumin/Baekhyun, Chen/D.O, Xiumin/Kris
Summary: A relationship is composed of two people with two perspectives.
When it crumbles, no one is truly at fault, just two sides waiting to be known.
Jongdae's biggest worry in working at a coffee shop is too mess up. Either by spelling a customer's name wrong, saying Ma'am instead of an obvious Sir (because you can’t be too sure with pronouns these days), or by accidentally switching iced drinks with orders of hot chocolate (coffee and cocoa drinks are surprisingly shades too alike, Jongdae learns) except Jongdae knew he full on messed up big time after giving into the temptation of kissing his boss Junmyeon at the back of the room one late afternoon leading to something so much more while he’s still in a four year relationship with a sunbae from college that goes by the name of Kim Minseok.
Jongdae knows he loves his workaholic hyung, in fact he is proud of him since he achieved the position of Advertising Art Director just two years after graduating. But achievements don't come without sacrifices especially when it comes to relationships. Minseok rarely spends the night in their apartment, too busy preparing materials for tomorrow's presentation, never being able to attend dinner dates because he is too full from a dinner meeting with the clients. Jongdae is a growing boy with needs and Junmyeon has no other commitments that are stopping him to meet said needs. Minseok doesn't need to know but then again CCTVs don't lie.
Minseok finds out two hours after he just closed a deal with a client he has been courting for 3 months. Earlier that day, Byun Baekhyun was constantly sending messages on their chat room while he was in the meeting causing him to excuse himself and call the poor excuse he calls his best friend. As soon as the other picks up the call he started talking in random and jumbled words, good thing Minseok is a master of words and he was able to decipher that he needed to tell him something very urgent that happened in the cafe he and Jongdae works in.
Baekhyun was assigned to review the previous weeks' CCTV when he saw two figures coming out of the storage room with messy hair, undone uniforms and somehow as if they have both forgotten of the existence of said CCTV was showering sloppy kisses to each other's mouths on their way out. He has seen the way Junmyeon looks at Jongdae. He knew that Junmyeon will do anything, be anything just so he can get what he wants. What he didn't expect was Jongdae to give in. As much as Baekhyun loves Jongdae, he is more loyal to his bestfriend of 10 years.
While showing the video, no words were spoken and Baekhyun expected Minseok to explode. But it never came. Minseok was calm - too calm. After the screen has faded to black, he simply puts down the phone, turns away, dials a number on his own phone and heads to his room even before the person on the other line picks up leaving the usually loud and jolly Byun feeling helpless and guilty.
Minseok doesn't come out for the rest of the night and Baekhyun knows that he needs to settle things on his own. So after the sun has set and no other sound is coming from the other side of the room, he heads home to his own apartment 10 minutes away and leaves him a message in their chat room telling the older to ring him if he ever needs anything. Jongdae calls Baekhyun just before he reaches his apartment. He almost doesn't recognize the voice on the other line. The sweet and orotund voice he was used to is now very hoarse and out-of-breath. He knows it's over. Minseok won't settle for being second best. And Jongdae knows that. He also knows how Minseok values love over other things. How Minseok is a hopeless romantic, where the older gets giddy when watching romantic movies. How the awesome senior, Kim Minseok asked the sophomore Kim Jongdae out on a date, because he fell for his smile. How Minseok gave him soft kisses behind the school bleachers because he wants every kiss they have special and intimate. And today he learns something new. Minseok was working doubly hard so that he can close the deal and surprise Jongdae when they can finally move in the apartment in Gangnam that the barista has been dreaming of since he graduated.
It's not entirely Jongdae's fault why their relationship crumbled. The problem lies with both of them: Minseok being occupied with work, making a world of his own, not letting Jongdae see even a glimpse. Jongdae, occupied by another man, because he doesn’t even try to take a closer look around what he already has. 2 hours in in their conversation, Jongdae is a sobbing mess and decides that they should just break up. Minseok doesn’t spend another second to think about it and just agrees, mumbling “Okay”. And the line went dead.
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
Just like a relationship, this story isn’t one-sided. Choose a side but keep your mind open.
Jongdae Minseok
[Jongdae]JONGDAE
Two years passed and Jongdae hasn't heard anything from Minseok. Minseok immediately moved out of their apartment the same night they broke up crashing in at Baekhyun's place. Taking only few pieces of his clothing (not really the ones with Jongdae's scent), the things he needed for work and nothing else. Minseok left behind everything that may have a trace of his and Jongdae's relationship. He tried calling him a few days after but the older has already changed his number, Baekhyun immediately submitted his resignation from the cafe, and whenever he asks about Minseok, the other just apologizes.
Jongdae and Junmyeon officially starts dating a week after the split despite Jongdae feeling bad about the matter, or was it had been guilt and regret at the same time? Jongdae pushes all qualms aside because there’s Junmyeon who’s making it easier for him by always giving a chaste kiss on the younger's lips in hopes of taking the heavy feeling away. Junmyeon tried to make it work. Before, he wanted Jongdae because they both have needs, but now he wanted Jongdae the same way Minseok did.
They eventually break up after 5 months leaving Jongdae jobless and broken as ever.
♪
Jongdae goes back to his hometown and starts setting up his own business. For a year, he was living a kind of stable life (meaning wake up, prepare for the day, work, finish work, head back home, sleep). No attachments, no night parties, no excitement. A routinary life wallowing him up in hopes of trying to fix himself. He is most thankful for Kyungsoo, a childhood friend and an amazing chef that helped him even though he was such a wreck. After they have successfully established “변화”, they decide to expand in Seoul and try their luck. Also, mostly because Kyungsoo has heard so much about Minseok and he wants to convince Jongdae that the only way he can be totally okay is if he sees that Minseok is doing fine and he doesn't need to carry the weight of the mistake he made for the rest of his life.
Jongdae wants everything to be perfect when they move to their 2 room apartment 20 minutes away from their restaurant location. Instead of the original plan of driving to Seoul together with Kyungsoo, Jongdae leaves 3 days earlier so that he can settle in the apartment earlier to personally check out the preparations being made for the opening.
He gazes out to see the familiar buildings, some new ones that he can’t wait to see and explore. As soon as he steps out from the van, he takes a big intake of the Seoul air he deeply missed. He turns around only to bump into someone. The sun is shining brightly that day and Jongdae is high from excitement that he barely makes out the figure he just bumped to.
“I’m sorry.” Jongdae says as he tries to get up but a hand is suddenly helping him up. Jongdae bows at the same time trying to fix his plaid shirt and jeans.
“I apologize for my clumsiness, are you okay?” And he knows that voice; he knows that gentle manner of speaking. It’s been too long but he hasn’t forgotten and he can only hope that he’s wrong. There are thousands of men in Seoul, it just can’t be him. Jongdae all but whimpers when he comes face to face with the stranger.
There he was. Staring right at him was Kim Minseok. He look better, healthier, nicer than the last day Jongdae has said a half-meant I love you to the said man. This Kim Minseok doesn’t look broken, rather he is looking at Jongdae with full of concern the same way he did few years back when they were overflowing with love and had only eyes for each other. No man, no occupation in between. Just them. It may have been only a few seconds in reality, but for Jongdae it felt like an eternity waiting for the next words Minseok will say to him. His mind slightly drifts to a scenario where the other will let out the frustration he had from 2 years ago, punching Jongdae to take the pain away but it never came. Minseok was just staring at him.
“Minseok, I-“Jongdae has no idea what to say, all brain functions stops whenever it’s Minseok. The other suddenly let’s go of Jongdae’s arms which the younger didn’t even notice.
“How did you know my name?” Minseok grabs the bag Jongdae has dropped while he remains frozen in his place trying to process what the other just said.
“Have we met before? Look, I’m really sorry, I tend to forget easily. If you’ll just tell me where we met, maybe I can rack my head and…” Minseok keeps on talking as if they were acquaintances of some sort, and it just doesn’t make sense. Jongdae feels as if this is straight from a terrible drama.
Minseok waves his hands in front of the stunned boy with full of worry.
“Look, I got to run, I need to be somewhere. If you’re not feeling well, or if you want to catch up just give me a ring,” Minseok says while handing a business card with a carefully written number at the back. The older just gives him a pat in the back and walks away.
Jongdae doesn’t notice the tears rolling and maybe the ringing in his ears wasn’t too loud as the pounding on his head because he can hear his heart breaking all over again.
♪
Jongdae dials a familiar number he has on his phone (saved until now) as soon as he gets his head together, hoping the other hasn’t changed numbers.
When the other line picks up and it is the voice Jongdae just wanted to hear, he gives a slight sigh. “Hey it’s me, Jongdae, can we meet up? I kind of need to see you right now.”
♪
He meets Baekhyun in an ice cream parlor near his workplace just 3o minutes after, the barista already have a bubblegum flavored dessert while playing some games on his phone when Jongdae arrives.
Baekhyun smiles brightly at him when he sees the other and immediately stands up to give the other a slight hug.
“Since when have you been back in Seoul?” flashing Jongdae a smile while grabbing a spoonful to place in his mouth.
“Just early this morning actually” he settles in his seat. “Sorry, I dragged you all the way here while you’re still on duty.”
“No biggie, I was done for the day to be honest.” Baekhyun laughs heartily just the same way he remembers.
“So, what’s up? You sounded kind of urgent earlier.”
Jongdae relaxes his shoulder trying to compose of a good thing to say. Meeting Minseok on the first day he got back and the other not remembering him was not what he was expecting.
“Earth to Jongdae, are you okay? You’re looking a little pale, do you want to go..”
“I met Minseok earlier and why the hell doesn’t he remember me?!?” Jongdae starts off with a tone lined normally but the timbre raises higher and he’s speaking too loud that the workers have all turned their heads their way with curious faces. Good thing there was just one other customer in the parlor and he has earphones on, not noticing the ruckus Jongdae just made.
Baekhyun looks at them, bows and mumbles apologies. He then turns back to Jongdae who is heaving. He really thought he was okay, that he can manage but he still can’t be calm and be not angry with himself when it’s all about Minseok.
The barista is now sitting beside Jongdae running a comforting hand in his back.
“It’s kind of a long story, will you be okay?” Baekhyun turns off his phone as he narrates the past two years.
♪
The day Kyungsoo arrives is the same day he meets Minseok. He was just on the way of carrying the third box up to their apartment on the fourth floor, when someone offers assistance. Not really knowing what Minseok looks like, he casually accepts and offers some drinks after they have successfully carried the 7th box. In the middle of their conversation, Jongdae walks in after visiting the restaurant with a plastic of fresh fish cake in hand. As soon as he sees the person sitting in the sofa, he drops the plastic; good thing they have finished setting up the carpet, slightly saving the food from spilling.
“Oh Jongdae, you’re home?” Kyungsoo eyes the dropped plastic and hurriedly tries to pick it up. He pinches Jongdae so that he would get back his senses. “Min... Minseok-ah…” and that’s when Kyungsoo realizes he invited the devil in.
“Hi, Jongdae-ssi” Minseok says brightly as he stands up to put the used cup to their counter.
Jongdae’s eyes are starting to hurt and he knows the tears are going to spill soon.
But before he can even turn around, Minseok has grabbed his wrist and slowly settles him down on the sofa.
“I gave you my number, but I haven’t heard from you ever since.” Minseok takes out his phone while Jongdae just stares at him again for the nth time.
Kyungsoo comes back with a water in hand eyeing Minseok but the other did not pay any attention. Jongdae takes hold of the glass trying to calm himself down.
Minseok puts his hands behind Jongdae’s back trying to ease the younger and Jongdae can’t help but to miss the warm hand. The soft touches of reassurance Minseok always gave him in college before taking tests. When Minseok held his hand while they were searching where Jongdae’s younger brother ran away to. That the only promise Minseok made him is that he’ll be okay if he’s with him. And Jongdae knows that the past 2 years, he was never okay. That the guilt is eating him up each passing day. That he was scared that he broke Minseok, good guy Minseok that only thought of him.
“Are you feeling better?” Minseok says with a smile in his lips.
“I haven’t heard you say another word other than my name you know?”
“I’m sorry, I-- it’s just been too long since we last saw each other.” Jongdae pauses. He puts down the glass and stands up to head to the kitchen.
“Sunbaenim, how have you been doing?” He walks towards the table to plate up the fish cakes.
“Sunbae? Just call me hyung… if I may ask Jongdae-ssi, were we on the same department in college?”
“Hyung…” Jongdae laughs to himself. Never in his life did he think that Minseok will ask him to call him hyung. Despite the 2 year age gap, Minseok was never strict when it came to Jongdae. They always called each other by their first name, because Minseok always told him that Jongdae was mature for his age. Comparing to Baekhyun who was the same age with Jongdae that is.
“Not really, I was under the Business department, we met because of Baekhyun. We were in the same class for that one semester and then we became… friends.” Jongdae comes back with a full plate and it’s just then that he notices Kyungsoo hasn’t sat down nor moving to look away from Minseok.
‘Kyung-ah, what’s the problem? I know you don’t like him but please be nice,’ announces Jongdae as he whispers to Kyungsoo’s ears.
“I’m going down to get something in the car.” Kyungsoo grabs the keys and surprises Jongdae with a peck in the lips.
At the sound of the door closing, Jongdae turns back to Minseok who was eating the rice cake heartily. Minseok saying “So is Kyungsoo, your boyfriend?” in between bites not looking towards Jongdae’s direction. Somehow he can see the other’s eyes starting to tear up. But it might just be because the rice cake is hot. He knows that Minseok doesn’t do well with temperature.
But the question is still pending. He tries to rack his head on why would Kyungsoo do that right in front of Minseok so he decides to be honest.
“Uhh, no. Well technically, we aren’t dating. But I like him. He likes me. But we are not in a commited relationship.”
And it’s the truth because Kyungsoo did confess to him that one night, when everything was a mess and Jongdae had 2 bottles of soju 3 weeks after he came back. Kyungsoo has picked him up from the bar and dragged him home, changing Jongdae’s clothes full of vomit, preparing his bed, lecturing him how he is starting an unhealthy habit. And in between scolding, Kyungsoo has told him that he had a crush on him when they were kids, and how somehow his feelings are starting to come back. And all other events that night was forgotten after he passed out.
They talk about it the following day, when Jongdae has sobered up and Kyungsoo is back to being the silent and deadly friend he is. And Jongdae tells him, that he appreciates but he isn’t ready to be with someone. Jongdae knows he does have feelings for Kyungsoo but he needs to fix himself first so he can love the other fully when the time comes. Kyungsoo just smiles at him and says “I know. I’ll help you.”
Minseok nods in understanding, thanks him for the food, promises Jongdae that they would catch up more next time. Jongdae invites him to the opening of their restaurant where Minseok gives him a surprised look but congratulates him nonetheless. He accompanies him down where Baekhyun is waiting.
“Hyung! Jongdae!” and Minseok snorts after seeing Baekhyun doing embarrassing gestures in public.
“Cut that out! Have you no shame, Byun!” Jongdae just laughs at them because he always does when Minseok has this urge to kill Baekhyun. It somehow feels good to know that some things haven’t changed even after these years.
“See you soon, Jongdae-ssi.”
“Just call me Jongdae, hyung.” Minseok chuckles a little and does a small wave and that’s when Jongdae notices that silver band in the ring finger of the older.
Jongdae knows he won’t be able to fall asleep tonight unless he talks to Baekhyun.
♪
Kyungsoo punches Jongdae 3 days before the opening of their restaurant without any guilt whatsoever after his colleague has mildly joked with tears in his eyes that they should crash Minseok and Kris’s wedding six months from now.
Now, Jongdae was freaking out on how to cover his face up without looking like a zombie neither looking like a punching bag on the most important day of their careers. And Kyungsoo knows he succeeded in distracting Jongdae from unimportant things.
“Seriously though, you could have just slapped me and I would have stopped crying, asshole.” As Jongdae wipes his face for the 5th time because he still haven’t got the correct skin tone concealer.
“Everyone will look at the food and not you, so stop being a baby.” Kyungsoo is now in his phone trying to contact the staff to tell them they’re on the way.
“Chanyeol’s waiting. We should get going.” So Jongdae stops all his crazy antics and focuses his mind on that one certain thing he has to make sure won’t fail.
♪
When he meets Minseok’s fiancee’, he doesn’t feel sadness or anger, but pure jealousy. His fiance’ is tall, has short auburn hair, thick eyebrows, looks really good in a suit, and if Jongdae was being brutally honest, he’ll think that the man is working in productions not behind it. He faintly recognizes the guy because as far as he remembers when they were still together, Kris was Minseok’s partner-slash-copywriter. He has seen their pictures together and Minseok was always full of praise for the said man. But they were never introduced because Jongdae never really visited the older during work hours nor did he interfere with the other’s work life.
Baekhyun couldn’t make it tonight but he offered his congratulations via phone call and promises that he’ll drop by the day after.
“Congratulations Jongdae & Kyungsoo! This restaurant already looks exquisite. I’m pretty sure we’ll enjoy our evening. Also, I would like you to meet my fiance’, Kris Wu.” Minseok looks dashing in his own suit that the entrepreneur didn’t notice when Kris held out his hand.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Jongdae-ssi.” the low voice brings him back to his senses and he gives Kris a guilty smile and greeting back with a handshake.
“The pleasure is mine as well. Thank you for taking your personal time off to be able to attend tonight. I hope you’ll enjoy the food specially the main course which is Do Kyungsoo’s personal recipe.” Jongdae is quick to cover up his emotions when it comes to his business. He and Minseok exchanges a soft smile when Kyungsoo starts to guide the couple to the reserved table as Jongdae welcomes the next set of people waiting to offer their congratulatory messages.
He has to concentrate. Not even Kim Minseok can mess up this night.
And it goes smoothly, as it should be. But after the official ceremony, Jongdae was too busy with all the guests, that he wasn’t able to see, nor talk to Minseok. Kyungsoo does tell him in the middle of the event that Minseok and Kris has excused themselves and left.
After a tiring and successful night, Jongdae is satisfied but not contented.
♪
What hurts Jongdae the most is that Minseok is still the same guy he fell in love with. And he’s even better now.
He gets to call Minseok in the middle of the day and the other will pick up because he needs a break from all the deadlines and they’ll casually talk about random stuff. Minseok drops by the restaurant at least twice a week because he really enjoys the place and the food. Minseok brings him to Baekhyun’s coffee shop and they enjoy messing with the other while he tries to act all cool running the certain chain.
Except now, Minseok has to pause their conversation because Kris needs to talk to him about their wedding details. Now, Minseok has to leave a little early and Jongdae can see Minseok give a kiss to Kris when he comes to pick him up from the restaurant. Now, they are friends and that’s all they will ever be.
♪
Jongdae knows that Minseok hasn’t forgotten him. He just really has no clue who he is - correct that - who Jongdae was in Minseok’s life. What they are - correct that, again - what they had been and it just feels so damn unfair when Minseok certainly knows what they will be but Jongdae can only think of what they could have become.
On the day of the wedding, Jongdae wears his best suit, a smile on his face, and a heart hanging on his sleeve, ready to be healed. For the past six months, he saw that the older was still the same guy but much happier. Minseok may have no idea of their unsaid past but that’s perfectly fine for Jongdae because if he’s being completely honest with himself, he’d prefer not remembering their ending as well. And Jongdae needs to move on. It’s time.
So as Minseok says his vows to another man. A promise of love and protection (the same one he promised the younger - but of course he doesn’t know that), Jongdae lets go as well.
Minseok will always be his first love.
♥-------------------------------------------------♥---------------------------------------------♥
Once out of sight, he rushes to a cab. He selects the first contact on his phone and after three rings…
“I saw Jongdae.” Minseok’s voice is trembling.
[Minseok]MINSEOK
“I saw Jongdae..”Minseok’s voice is trembling.
“What?! When? Where? Hyung, are you okay?” Baekhyun has put down his apron. He is done for the day and was just out to catch a movie when he hears that ringtone he set for Minseok and he immediately knows it’s an emergency because Minseok never calls him in the middle of the day when he’s usually busy finishing a presentation.
“I was checking out that new apartment we’re moving in and I decided to ride the bus, you know for a change. But I accidentally bumped to someone and when I saw who it was.. I just, I didn’t want to get mad, so I pretended that I have no idea who he is. God, Byun what the hell am I supposed to do.” Minseok never panicked. The last time Baekhyun saw him like this was when he was too busy preparing the surprise event he prepared for Jongdae for their second anniversary-slash-graduation celebration and that time everything went completely wrong from the music, the lights flicking to the bug in their dessert but none of it mattered to Jongdae when he grabbed Minseok with his tie kissing him passionately in the middle of the garden saying “thank you, I appreciate everything. It’s perfect because it’s you.” And Minseok forgets all the little things that went wrong because of that one thing that was perfectly right.
“Hyung, calm down.” Baekhyun is a few meters away from his car.
“I’ll go to your office now, we’ll talk about this.”
♪
“You’re shitting too much for a successful 27 year old man, you know that right?” Baekhyun just laughs it off when he sees Minseok is sweating so much in a high temperature air-conditioned room.
“It’s not funny, Baek, what if I see him again?” Minseok is pacing behind his desk and ignoring the light from his phone that has been flicking continuously.
“So what if you see him again, then just tell him it was just a joke. You moved on right?” and with the last sentence Minseok froze. Baekhyun looks at him in surprise. “Wait, don’t tell me -“
The door to Minseok’s office suddenly opens with a tall, brown haired guy walking in without bothering to knock. “Babe, why didn’t you pick up my call?” Kris heads straight to Minseok who has snapped from his thoughts, automatically wrapping their arms together.
Baekhyun pretends to gag and mutters “Kris and his possessiveness.”
"Oh hey Baek, didn't see you there." Kris said snuggling close to Minseok and giving the barista a little smirk.
Minseok turns Kris around "Sorry, I was caught up with something.." Just then Baekhyun's phone rings with an unknown number showing in the screen. Hoping it was a new client, Baekhyun answers without hesitation "Byun Baekhyun speaking."
Minseok looks back at Kris as Baekhyun excuse himself to continue the conversation outside of the room.
Kris fixes the growing hair that is starting to cover Minseok's forehead. "You're coming over to celebrate tonight, right?"
Minseok looks at Kris and licks his lips. "Celebrate?" And Kris takes the chance to kiss the other right in the lips before giving him a sweet smile. "Dragonfire Productions just signed the deal with us and I'm finally heading that dream project with the art gallery, I’ve been telling you about." Minseok smiles as he kisses Kris back, he will definitely celebrate it with his fiance' rather than thinking of what could be if it was Jongdae.
♪
"Hyung, I don't think you mentioned that you practically told Jongdae you never met him before. That you guys weren’t previously in a relationship. That he was your first fuck and all sorts." Baekhyun slightly chuckles in the situation he is in, he just wish that his hyung would just face Jongdae properly. But he knows that Minseok isn’t ready, not after seeing him that he hasn’t totally moved on.
“I’m really sorry, Baek. What did you tell him?” Minseok sighs to the phone and he can hear papers being organized.
“I told him you were in an accident a year ago leading to a post-traumatic amnesia.”
“Are you serious?” Of course, Minseok’s voice is serious. And a thud is heard, probably the stapler dropping to the floor.
“Yes, hyung. And it’s quite fascinating how he bought it to be quite honest.” Baekhyun heads to his car, wanting to just take a long sleep. When the other doesn’t answer, he knows that his precious hyung is in deep thought that doesn’t want to be disturbed. “I’m going home, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
♪
He has no idea what he’s doing here. He should have refrained from helping the guy he met at the street. He should have not stayed for a drink. He should have not met Kyungsoo. He is definitely regretting now that he can feel an indescribable pain when he lays his eyes on Jongdae who is standing at the door with a plastic in hand. And when Jongdae says his name it takes great resistance to go up to him and make everything go back the way they were two years ago.
So he tries to be the guy who he was when he first met the younger and be the gentleman he was once.
“Hi, Jongdae-ssi” he says brightly as he stands up to place the used cup in their counter and when he comes back a few seconds after, he doesn’t know what comes over him when he grabs the other’s hand and assists him to sit down on the sofa. The moment their hands touch, Minseok doesn’t feel anger but 95% familiarity & 5% longing. It’s been too long. The silence in between them isn’t awkward but rather painful to bear so he breaks it.
“I gave you my number, but I haven’t heard from you ever since.” Minseok thinks of the time, he kept asking Baekhyun for Jongdae’s number after changing his own a week after he left their apartment but Baekhyun makes solid decisions and he never gave in, not even once. Kyungsoo keeps giving him unwelcoming looks but he doesn’t pay attention. What he pays attention to is how Jongdae is shaking the same way he did when he took the tests in college, when he was scared to death when he had no idea where his brother ran away too, because he knows that the younger always gets nervous about important things and/or people so he tries his best to calm the other. To let him know, it’s okay, it’s only me.
“Are you feeling better?” Minseok says in a hushed whisper and truly hopes he is.
“I haven’t heard you say another word other than my name, you know?”
“I’m sorry, I-- it’s just been too long since we last saw each other.” Jongdae stands up to go to the kitchen and Minseok can only look down at the blinking light on his phone. Kris will totally flip if he doesn’t call back soon.
He can hear the clanking sounds from the utensils being prepared. “Sunbaenim, how have you been doing?” Minseok flinches at the word ‘sunbae,’ Jongdae never called him that. Kyungsoo notices. Minseok knows he’s caught.
“Sunbae? Just call me hyung… if I may ask Jongdae-ssi, were we on the same department in college?” Minseok’s eyes never left Kyungsoo’s.
When Jongdae comes back with the food in hand, Minseok knows he is explaining something he already knows. Jongdae moves in to whisper something in the chef’s ear and Minseok can’t help but flinch a little and look away. Kyungsoo notices again. Minseok needs to talk to him. Kyungsoo excuses himself, giving Jongdae a slight kiss. Only then does he realize that seeing Jongdae again is hurting him more than he expected. So he eats - the only other time he shed tears is when he eat hot foods. He thanks the high heavens that the food in front of him is a fish cake. He mumbles “So is Kyungsoo, your boyfriend?” in hopes of covering his true emotions. He thinks it does, when Jongdae tells him that they aren’t officially dating but they have mutual feelings.
The light from his phone hasn’t stopped blinking for at least half an hour, he knows he has to leave now. He thanks Jongdae for the meal, promises that they should meet up again and catch up more the next time. What surprises him is Jongdae inviting him to the opening of their restaurant and Minseok can’t wait to see the fruit of hard work and how far the young entrepreneur has reached. They walk in silence down to where Baekhyun is waiting and the only thing Minseok can think of is he needs to talk to Kyungsoo.
♪
Kris is furious. Of course he is, after a dozen missed calls and at least 30+ unanswered text messages that morning, where he has no idea where his fiancé may have been. Minseok explains every detail of his unannounced trip & midway he doesn’t even know why he is explaining too much. He never needed to before but it feels different when the topic is centered around Jongdae.
Kris is mad and hesitant to go to the opening of the restaurant. Minseok feels otherwise. “I already told you. Jongdae thinks that I don’t remember us. And I want to keep it that way. I need closure. We need closure.” Minseok knows he isn’t explaining to Kris anymore, rather to himself.
Kris sits beside Minseok and pats the others head. “I understand your point Minseok, but do you think this is the best way? Faking it? You can just talk to him. I really don’t mind. Jongdae’s your past, I’m your future and I want you to make things right in the present.”
“It’s not that easy, Kris. I miss him. I really do, you know that right?”
Kris bows his head. He isn’t mad at Minseok for not telling him where he was. But when Minseok mentioned that Jongdae is back, he knows that feelings come along with it.
“I know.”
♪
Kris was there the night Minseok didn’t leave the office, three days after he and Jongdae broke up. It was past 9pm and Kris decided to get the unfinished reports he forgot for his flight to Jakarta the next day.
It surprises him that the guards at the lobby told him that there was still an employee in the room. The lights have all been turned off except for one cubicle in the near end of the room. He is aware that Minseok spends some nights to finish presentations but what he sees isn’t something he was expecting.
When he reaches the cubicle, no papers have been scattered, the computer is completely fine, it’s exactly how Minseok’s room is supposed to be - neat and organized. The only thing different is a crying Minseok at the corner of the room.
That was the first and last time he saw Minseok cried. That was the night he learns about Jongdae.
♪
Minseok has learned to detach himself when it comes to his relationship with Kris. He plays the part of a good boyfriend but not a real one. Kris is okay with that. As long as at the end of the day, he gets to keep Minseok, he gets to sleep with the others’ body wrapped around his arms, he gets to kiss Minseok full on the lips. When he asks for the other’s hand in marriage just a year into their special relationship, the other hesitates for a moment but still said yes.
Minseok likes Kris. Kris loves Minseok. They talked about it. They are together like a real couple but Minseok isn’t required to reciprocate Kris’s feelings. No I Love You’s required. They’re satisfied being together. It takes away the loneliness.
Kris doesn’t have a family, and Minseok’s never accepted his sexual preference. There is nothing in between their agreement. On the day of their wedding, their guests will think it’s a happy ever after. Deep inside only they know, it will be just an event to help seal the deal.
♪
Minseok talks to Kyungsoo the day the latter punches Jongdae.
“So, you remember everything?” Kyungsoo is not amused, not one bit. It just doesn’t make sense. Faking his relationship with Jongdae. Faking his relationship with Kris. If everything is fake surrounding the guy right in front of him, how can he believe that what he’s talking about is real.
“I’m fucked up, Kyungsoo. I didn’t deserve Jongdae the first time, I’m not willing to lose him again second time around. We’ve both been hurt. I just want to keep him. At least as a friend.” Minseok’s eyes are pleading. He will go down on his knees if he needs to. Kyungsoo is staring right back at him for a good few seconds when he heaves a sigh.
“You’re hurting him right now.” Kyungsoo takes a sip of the black coffee. He doesn’t know if the bitterness is coming from the drink or from his mouth.
“He deserves closure.”
“We both do. But if I tell him I remember him, I remember every single thing of why I love him. I won’t be able to control myself. I will do everything to get him back. And that’s the thing. I am who I am when I’m with him. Jongdae can only be the one who can keep the real me. That man - may be loving but he is selfish, conceited, and I may not keep my promises again. I’ll end up hurting him again. But I know someone who won’t.” Minseok looks at Kyungsoo straight in the eye. He can feel his heart racing rapidly. It might be the pain from saying that last sentence.
“You don’t know me, Minseok-ssi. Jongdae may have told you something about us. But I can’t guarantee that I can love him better.” It’s the truth. Kyungsoo has his flaws as well but he’s willing to be with Jongdae.
Minseok chuckles. Kyungsoo smirks a little. They’re just running around circles. Minseok’s giving Jongdae away. Kyungsoo is pushing Jongdae back. Reality is, no one is right in this scenario. They never have any right to dictate where Jongdae’s heart should be.
They just laugh it off, keeping all the words said as a reminder. In hopes, that someday one of them is right. Or in this case wrong.
“I try not to meddle with other people’s business. Especially of those that aren’t that familiar with me. I still don’t get your decision, Minseok-ssi. I just hope, you’re making the right one.” And with that they bid each other goodbye.
♪
On the day of the wedding, Minseok wears a tailor-made suit, a practiced smile on his face, and puts his real feelings aside. The 6 months he spent with Jongdae made him feel fixed and broken at the same time. Jongdae may have no idea of his intentions, but at least he can move on. He can be the Jongdae that can love once again. He can be a person, Minseok failed to be.
So as Minseok says his rehearsed words to another man. A promise of love and protection (the same one he promised Jongdae - but Kris doesn’t need to know), Minseok accepts as well.
Jongdae will always be his last love.
♥-------------------------------------------------♥---------------------------------------------♥
Jongdae relaxes his shoulder trying to compose of a good thing to say.
“I met Minseok earlier and why the hell doesn’t he remember me?!?”
Author's note: Read both sides ^_^
I had an amazing time writing this prompt and hope you liked it!
Special thanks to my beta, you know who you are and to my dear maknae line ♥~
A job well done to the other writers! We made it!
For: yunsias
Rating: PG-13
Other pairings: bff!Xiumin/Baekhyun, Chen/D.O, Xiumin/Kris
Summary: A relationship is composed of two people with two perspectives.
When it crumbles, no one is truly at fault, just two sides waiting to be known.
Jongdae's biggest worry in working at a coffee shop is too mess up. Either by spelling a customer's name wrong, saying Ma'am instead of an obvious Sir (because you can’t be too sure with pronouns these days), or by accidentally switching iced drinks with orders of hot chocolate (coffee and cocoa drinks are surprisingly shades too alike, Jongdae learns) except Jongdae knew he full on messed up big time after giving into the temptation of kissing his boss Junmyeon at the back of the room one late afternoon leading to something so much more while he’s still in a four year relationship with a sunbae from college that goes by the name of Kim Minseok.
Jongdae knows he loves his workaholic hyung, in fact he is proud of him since he achieved the position of Advertising Art Director just two years after graduating. But achievements don't come without sacrifices especially when it comes to relationships. Minseok rarely spends the night in their apartment, too busy preparing materials for tomorrow's presentation, never being able to attend dinner dates because he is too full from a dinner meeting with the clients. Jongdae is a growing boy with needs and Junmyeon has no other commitments that are stopping him to meet said needs. Minseok doesn't need to know but then again CCTVs don't lie.
Minseok finds out two hours after he just closed a deal with a client he has been courting for 3 months. Earlier that day, Byun Baekhyun was constantly sending messages on their chat room while he was in the meeting causing him to excuse himself and call the poor excuse he calls his best friend. As soon as the other picks up the call he started talking in random and jumbled words, good thing Minseok is a master of words and he was able to decipher that he needed to tell him something very urgent that happened in the cafe he and Jongdae works in.
Baekhyun was assigned to review the previous weeks' CCTV when he saw two figures coming out of the storage room with messy hair, undone uniforms and somehow as if they have both forgotten of the existence of said CCTV was showering sloppy kisses to each other's mouths on their way out. He has seen the way Junmyeon looks at Jongdae. He knew that Junmyeon will do anything, be anything just so he can get what he wants. What he didn't expect was Jongdae to give in. As much as Baekhyun loves Jongdae, he is more loyal to his bestfriend of 10 years.
While showing the video, no words were spoken and Baekhyun expected Minseok to explode. But it never came. Minseok was calm - too calm. After the screen has faded to black, he simply puts down the phone, turns away, dials a number on his own phone and heads to his room even before the person on the other line picks up leaving the usually loud and jolly Byun feeling helpless and guilty.
Minseok doesn't come out for the rest of the night and Baekhyun knows that he needs to settle things on his own. So after the sun has set and no other sound is coming from the other side of the room, he heads home to his own apartment 10 minutes away and leaves him a message in their chat room telling the older to ring him if he ever needs anything. Jongdae calls Baekhyun just before he reaches his apartment. He almost doesn't recognize the voice on the other line. The sweet and orotund voice he was used to is now very hoarse and out-of-breath. He knows it's over. Minseok won't settle for being second best. And Jongdae knows that. He also knows how Minseok values love over other things. How Minseok is a hopeless romantic, where the older gets giddy when watching romantic movies. How the awesome senior, Kim Minseok asked the sophomore Kim Jongdae out on a date, because he fell for his smile. How Minseok gave him soft kisses behind the school bleachers because he wants every kiss they have special and intimate. And today he learns something new. Minseok was working doubly hard so that he can close the deal and surprise Jongdae when they can finally move in the apartment in Gangnam that the barista has been dreaming of since he graduated.
It's not entirely Jongdae's fault why their relationship crumbled. The problem lies with both of them: Minseok being occupied with work, making a world of his own, not letting Jongdae see even a glimpse. Jongdae, occupied by another man, because he doesn’t even try to take a closer look around what he already has. 2 hours in in their conversation, Jongdae is a sobbing mess and decides that they should just break up. Minseok doesn’t spend another second to think about it and just agrees, mumbling “Okay”. And the line went dead.
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
Just like a relationship, this story isn’t one-sided. Choose a side but keep your mind open.
Jongdae Minseok
[Jongdae]JONGDAE
Two years passed and Jongdae hasn't heard anything from Minseok. Minseok immediately moved out of their apartment the same night they broke up crashing in at Baekhyun's place. Taking only few pieces of his clothing (not really the ones with Jongdae's scent), the things he needed for work and nothing else. Minseok left behind everything that may have a trace of his and Jongdae's relationship. He tried calling him a few days after but the older has already changed his number, Baekhyun immediately submitted his resignation from the cafe, and whenever he asks about Minseok, the other just apologizes.
Jongdae and Junmyeon officially starts dating a week after the split despite Jongdae feeling bad about the matter, or was it had been guilt and regret at the same time? Jongdae pushes all qualms aside because there’s Junmyeon who’s making it easier for him by always giving a chaste kiss on the younger's lips in hopes of taking the heavy feeling away. Junmyeon tried to make it work. Before, he wanted Jongdae because they both have needs, but now he wanted Jongdae the same way Minseok did.
They eventually break up after 5 months leaving Jongdae jobless and broken as ever.
♪
Jongdae goes back to his hometown and starts setting up his own business. For a year, he was living a kind of stable life (meaning wake up, prepare for the day, work, finish work, head back home, sleep). No attachments, no night parties, no excitement. A routinary life wallowing him up in hopes of trying to fix himself. He is most thankful for Kyungsoo, a childhood friend and an amazing chef that helped him even though he was such a wreck. After they have successfully established “변화”, they decide to expand in Seoul and try their luck. Also, mostly because Kyungsoo has heard so much about Minseok and he wants to convince Jongdae that the only way he can be totally okay is if he sees that Minseok is doing fine and he doesn't need to carry the weight of the mistake he made for the rest of his life.
Jongdae wants everything to be perfect when they move to their 2 room apartment 20 minutes away from their restaurant location. Instead of the original plan of driving to Seoul together with Kyungsoo, Jongdae leaves 3 days earlier so that he can settle in the apartment earlier to personally check out the preparations being made for the opening.
He gazes out to see the familiar buildings, some new ones that he can’t wait to see and explore. As soon as he steps out from the van, he takes a big intake of the Seoul air he deeply missed. He turns around only to bump into someone. The sun is shining brightly that day and Jongdae is high from excitement that he barely makes out the figure he just bumped to.
“I’m sorry.” Jongdae says as he tries to get up but a hand is suddenly helping him up. Jongdae bows at the same time trying to fix his plaid shirt and jeans.
“I apologize for my clumsiness, are you okay?” And he knows that voice; he knows that gentle manner of speaking. It’s been too long but he hasn’t forgotten and he can only hope that he’s wrong. There are thousands of men in Seoul, it just can’t be him. Jongdae all but whimpers when he comes face to face with the stranger.
There he was. Staring right at him was Kim Minseok. He look better, healthier, nicer than the last day Jongdae has said a half-meant I love you to the said man. This Kim Minseok doesn’t look broken, rather he is looking at Jongdae with full of concern the same way he did few years back when they were overflowing with love and had only eyes for each other. No man, no occupation in between. Just them. It may have been only a few seconds in reality, but for Jongdae it felt like an eternity waiting for the next words Minseok will say to him. His mind slightly drifts to a scenario where the other will let out the frustration he had from 2 years ago, punching Jongdae to take the pain away but it never came. Minseok was just staring at him.
“Minseok, I-“Jongdae has no idea what to say, all brain functions stops whenever it’s Minseok. The other suddenly let’s go of Jongdae’s arms which the younger didn’t even notice.
“How did you know my name?” Minseok grabs the bag Jongdae has dropped while he remains frozen in his place trying to process what the other just said.
“Have we met before? Look, I’m really sorry, I tend to forget easily. If you’ll just tell me where we met, maybe I can rack my head and…” Minseok keeps on talking as if they were acquaintances of some sort, and it just doesn’t make sense. Jongdae feels as if this is straight from a terrible drama.
Minseok waves his hands in front of the stunned boy with full of worry.
“Look, I got to run, I need to be somewhere. If you’re not feeling well, or if you want to catch up just give me a ring,” Minseok says while handing a business card with a carefully written number at the back. The older just gives him a pat in the back and walks away.
Jongdae doesn’t notice the tears rolling and maybe the ringing in his ears wasn’t too loud as the pounding on his head because he can hear his heart breaking all over again.
♪
Jongdae dials a familiar number he has on his phone (saved until now) as soon as he gets his head together, hoping the other hasn’t changed numbers.
When the other line picks up and it is the voice Jongdae just wanted to hear, he gives a slight sigh. “Hey it’s me, Jongdae, can we meet up? I kind of need to see you right now.”
♪
He meets Baekhyun in an ice cream parlor near his workplace just 3o minutes after, the barista already have a bubblegum flavored dessert while playing some games on his phone when Jongdae arrives.
Baekhyun smiles brightly at him when he sees the other and immediately stands up to give the other a slight hug.
“Since when have you been back in Seoul?” flashing Jongdae a smile while grabbing a spoonful to place in his mouth.
“Just early this morning actually” he settles in his seat. “Sorry, I dragged you all the way here while you’re still on duty.”
“No biggie, I was done for the day to be honest.” Baekhyun laughs heartily just the same way he remembers.
“So, what’s up? You sounded kind of urgent earlier.”
Jongdae relaxes his shoulder trying to compose of a good thing to say. Meeting Minseok on the first day he got back and the other not remembering him was not what he was expecting.
“Earth to Jongdae, are you okay? You’re looking a little pale, do you want to go..”
“I met Minseok earlier and why the hell doesn’t he remember me?!?” Jongdae starts off with a tone lined normally but the timbre raises higher and he’s speaking too loud that the workers have all turned their heads their way with curious faces. Good thing there was just one other customer in the parlor and he has earphones on, not noticing the ruckus Jongdae just made.
Baekhyun looks at them, bows and mumbles apologies. He then turns back to Jongdae who is heaving. He really thought he was okay, that he can manage but he still can’t be calm and be not angry with himself when it’s all about Minseok.
The barista is now sitting beside Jongdae running a comforting hand in his back.
“It’s kind of a long story, will you be okay?” Baekhyun turns off his phone as he narrates the past two years.
♪
The day Kyungsoo arrives is the same day he meets Minseok. He was just on the way of carrying the third box up to their apartment on the fourth floor, when someone offers assistance. Not really knowing what Minseok looks like, he casually accepts and offers some drinks after they have successfully carried the 7th box. In the middle of their conversation, Jongdae walks in after visiting the restaurant with a plastic of fresh fish cake in hand. As soon as he sees the person sitting in the sofa, he drops the plastic; good thing they have finished setting up the carpet, slightly saving the food from spilling.
“Oh Jongdae, you’re home?” Kyungsoo eyes the dropped plastic and hurriedly tries to pick it up. He pinches Jongdae so that he would get back his senses. “Min... Minseok-ah…” and that’s when Kyungsoo realizes he invited the devil in.
“Hi, Jongdae-ssi” Minseok says brightly as he stands up to put the used cup to their counter.
Jongdae’s eyes are starting to hurt and he knows the tears are going to spill soon.
But before he can even turn around, Minseok has grabbed his wrist and slowly settles him down on the sofa.
“I gave you my number, but I haven’t heard from you ever since.” Minseok takes out his phone while Jongdae just stares at him again for the nth time.
Kyungsoo comes back with a water in hand eyeing Minseok but the other did not pay any attention. Jongdae takes hold of the glass trying to calm himself down.
Minseok puts his hands behind Jongdae’s back trying to ease the younger and Jongdae can’t help but to miss the warm hand. The soft touches of reassurance Minseok always gave him in college before taking tests. When Minseok held his hand while they were searching where Jongdae’s younger brother ran away to. That the only promise Minseok made him is that he’ll be okay if he’s with him. And Jongdae knows that the past 2 years, he was never okay. That the guilt is eating him up each passing day. That he was scared that he broke Minseok, good guy Minseok that only thought of him.
“Are you feeling better?” Minseok says with a smile in his lips.
“I haven’t heard you say another word other than my name you know?”
“I’m sorry, I-- it’s just been too long since we last saw each other.” Jongdae pauses. He puts down the glass and stands up to head to the kitchen.
“Sunbaenim, how have you been doing?” He walks towards the table to plate up the fish cakes.
“Sunbae? Just call me hyung… if I may ask Jongdae-ssi, were we on the same department in college?”
“Hyung…” Jongdae laughs to himself. Never in his life did he think that Minseok will ask him to call him hyung. Despite the 2 year age gap, Minseok was never strict when it came to Jongdae. They always called each other by their first name, because Minseok always told him that Jongdae was mature for his age. Comparing to Baekhyun who was the same age with Jongdae that is.
“Not really, I was under the Business department, we met because of Baekhyun. We were in the same class for that one semester and then we became… friends.” Jongdae comes back with a full plate and it’s just then that he notices Kyungsoo hasn’t sat down nor moving to look away from Minseok.
‘Kyung-ah, what’s the problem? I know you don’t like him but please be nice,’ announces Jongdae as he whispers to Kyungsoo’s ears.
“I’m going down to get something in the car.” Kyungsoo grabs the keys and surprises Jongdae with a peck in the lips.
At the sound of the door closing, Jongdae turns back to Minseok who was eating the rice cake heartily. Minseok saying “So is Kyungsoo, your boyfriend?” in between bites not looking towards Jongdae’s direction. Somehow he can see the other’s eyes starting to tear up. But it might just be because the rice cake is hot. He knows that Minseok doesn’t do well with temperature.
But the question is still pending. He tries to rack his head on why would Kyungsoo do that right in front of Minseok so he decides to be honest.
“Uhh, no. Well technically, we aren’t dating. But I like him. He likes me. But we are not in a commited relationship.”
And it’s the truth because Kyungsoo did confess to him that one night, when everything was a mess and Jongdae had 2 bottles of soju 3 weeks after he came back. Kyungsoo has picked him up from the bar and dragged him home, changing Jongdae’s clothes full of vomit, preparing his bed, lecturing him how he is starting an unhealthy habit. And in between scolding, Kyungsoo has told him that he had a crush on him when they were kids, and how somehow his feelings are starting to come back. And all other events that night was forgotten after he passed out.
They talk about it the following day, when Jongdae has sobered up and Kyungsoo is back to being the silent and deadly friend he is. And Jongdae tells him, that he appreciates but he isn’t ready to be with someone. Jongdae knows he does have feelings for Kyungsoo but he needs to fix himself first so he can love the other fully when the time comes. Kyungsoo just smiles at him and says “I know. I’ll help you.”
Minseok nods in understanding, thanks him for the food, promises Jongdae that they would catch up more next time. Jongdae invites him to the opening of their restaurant where Minseok gives him a surprised look but congratulates him nonetheless. He accompanies him down where Baekhyun is waiting.
“Hyung! Jongdae!” and Minseok snorts after seeing Baekhyun doing embarrassing gestures in public.
“Cut that out! Have you no shame, Byun!” Jongdae just laughs at them because he always does when Minseok has this urge to kill Baekhyun. It somehow feels good to know that some things haven’t changed even after these years.
“See you soon, Jongdae-ssi.”
“Just call me Jongdae, hyung.” Minseok chuckles a little and does a small wave and that’s when Jongdae notices that silver band in the ring finger of the older.
Jongdae knows he won’t be able to fall asleep tonight unless he talks to Baekhyun.
♪
Kyungsoo punches Jongdae 3 days before the opening of their restaurant without any guilt whatsoever after his colleague has mildly joked with tears in his eyes that they should crash Minseok and Kris’s wedding six months from now.
Now, Jongdae was freaking out on how to cover his face up without looking like a zombie neither looking like a punching bag on the most important day of their careers. And Kyungsoo knows he succeeded in distracting Jongdae from unimportant things.
“Seriously though, you could have just slapped me and I would have stopped crying, asshole.” As Jongdae wipes his face for the 5th time because he still haven’t got the correct skin tone concealer.
“Everyone will look at the food and not you, so stop being a baby.” Kyungsoo is now in his phone trying to contact the staff to tell them they’re on the way.
“Chanyeol’s waiting. We should get going.” So Jongdae stops all his crazy antics and focuses his mind on that one certain thing he has to make sure won’t fail.
♪
When he meets Minseok’s fiancee’, he doesn’t feel sadness or anger, but pure jealousy. His fiance’ is tall, has short auburn hair, thick eyebrows, looks really good in a suit, and if Jongdae was being brutally honest, he’ll think that the man is working in productions not behind it. He faintly recognizes the guy because as far as he remembers when they were still together, Kris was Minseok’s partner-slash-copywriter. He has seen their pictures together and Minseok was always full of praise for the said man. But they were never introduced because Jongdae never really visited the older during work hours nor did he interfere with the other’s work life.
Baekhyun couldn’t make it tonight but he offered his congratulations via phone call and promises that he’ll drop by the day after.
“Congratulations Jongdae & Kyungsoo! This restaurant already looks exquisite. I’m pretty sure we’ll enjoy our evening. Also, I would like you to meet my fiance’, Kris Wu.” Minseok looks dashing in his own suit that the entrepreneur didn’t notice when Kris held out his hand.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Jongdae-ssi.” the low voice brings him back to his senses and he gives Kris a guilty smile and greeting back with a handshake.
“The pleasure is mine as well. Thank you for taking your personal time off to be able to attend tonight. I hope you’ll enjoy the food specially the main course which is Do Kyungsoo’s personal recipe.” Jongdae is quick to cover up his emotions when it comes to his business. He and Minseok exchanges a soft smile when Kyungsoo starts to guide the couple to the reserved table as Jongdae welcomes the next set of people waiting to offer their congratulatory messages.
He has to concentrate. Not even Kim Minseok can mess up this night.
And it goes smoothly, as it should be. But after the official ceremony, Jongdae was too busy with all the guests, that he wasn’t able to see, nor talk to Minseok. Kyungsoo does tell him in the middle of the event that Minseok and Kris has excused themselves and left.
After a tiring and successful night, Jongdae is satisfied but not contented.
♪
What hurts Jongdae the most is that Minseok is still the same guy he fell in love with. And he’s even better now.
He gets to call Minseok in the middle of the day and the other will pick up because he needs a break from all the deadlines and they’ll casually talk about random stuff. Minseok drops by the restaurant at least twice a week because he really enjoys the place and the food. Minseok brings him to Baekhyun’s coffee shop and they enjoy messing with the other while he tries to act all cool running the certain chain.
Except now, Minseok has to pause their conversation because Kris needs to talk to him about their wedding details. Now, Minseok has to leave a little early and Jongdae can see Minseok give a kiss to Kris when he comes to pick him up from the restaurant. Now, they are friends and that’s all they will ever be.
♪
Jongdae knows that Minseok hasn’t forgotten him. He just really has no clue who he is - correct that - who Jongdae was in Minseok’s life. What they are - correct that, again - what they had been and it just feels so damn unfair when Minseok certainly knows what they will be but Jongdae can only think of what they could have become.
On the day of the wedding, Jongdae wears his best suit, a smile on his face, and a heart hanging on his sleeve, ready to be healed. For the past six months, he saw that the older was still the same guy but much happier. Minseok may have no idea of their unsaid past but that’s perfectly fine for Jongdae because if he’s being completely honest with himself, he’d prefer not remembering their ending as well. And Jongdae needs to move on. It’s time.
So as Minseok says his vows to another man. A promise of love and protection (the same one he promised the younger - but of course he doesn’t know that), Jongdae lets go as well.
Minseok will always be his first love.
♥-------------------------------------------------♥---------------------------------------------♥
Once out of sight, he rushes to a cab. He selects the first contact on his phone and after three rings…
“I saw Jongdae.” Minseok’s voice is trembling.
[Minseok]MINSEOK
“I saw Jongdae..”Minseok’s voice is trembling.
“What?! When? Where? Hyung, are you okay?” Baekhyun has put down his apron. He is done for the day and was just out to catch a movie when he hears that ringtone he set for Minseok and he immediately knows it’s an emergency because Minseok never calls him in the middle of the day when he’s usually busy finishing a presentation.
“I was checking out that new apartment we’re moving in and I decided to ride the bus, you know for a change. But I accidentally bumped to someone and when I saw who it was.. I just, I didn’t want to get mad, so I pretended that I have no idea who he is. God, Byun what the hell am I supposed to do.” Minseok never panicked. The last time Baekhyun saw him like this was when he was too busy preparing the surprise event he prepared for Jongdae for their second anniversary-slash-graduation celebration and that time everything went completely wrong from the music, the lights flicking to the bug in their dessert but none of it mattered to Jongdae when he grabbed Minseok with his tie kissing him passionately in the middle of the garden saying “thank you, I appreciate everything. It’s perfect because it’s you.” And Minseok forgets all the little things that went wrong because of that one thing that was perfectly right.
“Hyung, calm down.” Baekhyun is a few meters away from his car.
“I’ll go to your office now, we’ll talk about this.”
♪
“You’re shitting too much for a successful 27 year old man, you know that right?” Baekhyun just laughs it off when he sees Minseok is sweating so much in a high temperature air-conditioned room.
“It’s not funny, Baek, what if I see him again?” Minseok is pacing behind his desk and ignoring the light from his phone that has been flicking continuously.
“So what if you see him again, then just tell him it was just a joke. You moved on right?” and with the last sentence Minseok froze. Baekhyun looks at him in surprise. “Wait, don’t tell me -“
The door to Minseok’s office suddenly opens with a tall, brown haired guy walking in without bothering to knock. “Babe, why didn’t you pick up my call?” Kris heads straight to Minseok who has snapped from his thoughts, automatically wrapping their arms together.
Baekhyun pretends to gag and mutters “Kris and his possessiveness.”
"Oh hey Baek, didn't see you there." Kris said snuggling close to Minseok and giving the barista a little smirk.
Minseok turns Kris around "Sorry, I was caught up with something.." Just then Baekhyun's phone rings with an unknown number showing in the screen. Hoping it was a new client, Baekhyun answers without hesitation "Byun Baekhyun speaking."
Minseok looks back at Kris as Baekhyun excuse himself to continue the conversation outside of the room.
Kris fixes the growing hair that is starting to cover Minseok's forehead. "You're coming over to celebrate tonight, right?"
Minseok looks at Kris and licks his lips. "Celebrate?" And Kris takes the chance to kiss the other right in the lips before giving him a sweet smile. "Dragonfire Productions just signed the deal with us and I'm finally heading that dream project with the art gallery, I’ve been telling you about." Minseok smiles as he kisses Kris back, he will definitely celebrate it with his fiance' rather than thinking of what could be if it was Jongdae.
♪
"Hyung, I don't think you mentioned that you practically told Jongdae you never met him before. That you guys weren’t previously in a relationship. That he was your first fuck and all sorts." Baekhyun slightly chuckles in the situation he is in, he just wish that his hyung would just face Jongdae properly. But he knows that Minseok isn’t ready, not after seeing him that he hasn’t totally moved on.
“I’m really sorry, Baek. What did you tell him?” Minseok sighs to the phone and he can hear papers being organized.
“I told him you were in an accident a year ago leading to a post-traumatic amnesia.”
“Are you serious?” Of course, Minseok’s voice is serious. And a thud is heard, probably the stapler dropping to the floor.
“Yes, hyung. And it’s quite fascinating how he bought it to be quite honest.” Baekhyun heads to his car, wanting to just take a long sleep. When the other doesn’t answer, he knows that his precious hyung is in deep thought that doesn’t want to be disturbed. “I’m going home, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
♪
He has no idea what he’s doing here. He should have refrained from helping the guy he met at the street. He should have not stayed for a drink. He should have not met Kyungsoo. He is definitely regretting now that he can feel an indescribable pain when he lays his eyes on Jongdae who is standing at the door with a plastic in hand. And when Jongdae says his name it takes great resistance to go up to him and make everything go back the way they were two years ago.
So he tries to be the guy who he was when he first met the younger and be the gentleman he was once.
“Hi, Jongdae-ssi” he says brightly as he stands up to place the used cup in their counter and when he comes back a few seconds after, he doesn’t know what comes over him when he grabs the other’s hand and assists him to sit down on the sofa. The moment their hands touch, Minseok doesn’t feel anger but 95% familiarity & 5% longing. It’s been too long. The silence in between them isn’t awkward but rather painful to bear so he breaks it.
“I gave you my number, but I haven’t heard from you ever since.” Minseok thinks of the time, he kept asking Baekhyun for Jongdae’s number after changing his own a week after he left their apartment but Baekhyun makes solid decisions and he never gave in, not even once. Kyungsoo keeps giving him unwelcoming looks but he doesn’t pay attention. What he pays attention to is how Jongdae is shaking the same way he did when he took the tests in college, when he was scared to death when he had no idea where his brother ran away too, because he knows that the younger always gets nervous about important things and/or people so he tries his best to calm the other. To let him know, it’s okay, it’s only me.
“Are you feeling better?” Minseok says in a hushed whisper and truly hopes he is.
“I haven’t heard you say another word other than my name, you know?”
“I’m sorry, I-- it’s just been too long since we last saw each other.” Jongdae stands up to go to the kitchen and Minseok can only look down at the blinking light on his phone. Kris will totally flip if he doesn’t call back soon.
He can hear the clanking sounds from the utensils being prepared. “Sunbaenim, how have you been doing?” Minseok flinches at the word ‘sunbae,’ Jongdae never called him that. Kyungsoo notices. Minseok knows he’s caught.
“Sunbae? Just call me hyung… if I may ask Jongdae-ssi, were we on the same department in college?” Minseok’s eyes never left Kyungsoo’s.
When Jongdae comes back with the food in hand, Minseok knows he is explaining something he already knows. Jongdae moves in to whisper something in the chef’s ear and Minseok can’t help but flinch a little and look away. Kyungsoo notices again. Minseok needs to talk to him. Kyungsoo excuses himself, giving Jongdae a slight kiss. Only then does he realize that seeing Jongdae again is hurting him more than he expected. So he eats - the only other time he shed tears is when he eat hot foods. He thanks the high heavens that the food in front of him is a fish cake. He mumbles “So is Kyungsoo, your boyfriend?” in hopes of covering his true emotions. He thinks it does, when Jongdae tells him that they aren’t officially dating but they have mutual feelings.
The light from his phone hasn’t stopped blinking for at least half an hour, he knows he has to leave now. He thanks Jongdae for the meal, promises that they should meet up again and catch up more the next time. What surprises him is Jongdae inviting him to the opening of their restaurant and Minseok can’t wait to see the fruit of hard work and how far the young entrepreneur has reached. They walk in silence down to where Baekhyun is waiting and the only thing Minseok can think of is he needs to talk to Kyungsoo.
♪
Kris is furious. Of course he is, after a dozen missed calls and at least 30+ unanswered text messages that morning, where he has no idea where his fiancé may have been. Minseok explains every detail of his unannounced trip & midway he doesn’t even know why he is explaining too much. He never needed to before but it feels different when the topic is centered around Jongdae.
Kris is mad and hesitant to go to the opening of the restaurant. Minseok feels otherwise. “I already told you. Jongdae thinks that I don’t remember us. And I want to keep it that way. I need closure. We need closure.” Minseok knows he isn’t explaining to Kris anymore, rather to himself.
Kris sits beside Minseok and pats the others head. “I understand your point Minseok, but do you think this is the best way? Faking it? You can just talk to him. I really don’t mind. Jongdae’s your past, I’m your future and I want you to make things right in the present.”
“It’s not that easy, Kris. I miss him. I really do, you know that right?”
Kris bows his head. He isn’t mad at Minseok for not telling him where he was. But when Minseok mentioned that Jongdae is back, he knows that feelings come along with it.
“I know.”
♪
Kris was there the night Minseok didn’t leave the office, three days after he and Jongdae broke up. It was past 9pm and Kris decided to get the unfinished reports he forgot for his flight to Jakarta the next day.
It surprises him that the guards at the lobby told him that there was still an employee in the room. The lights have all been turned off except for one cubicle in the near end of the room. He is aware that Minseok spends some nights to finish presentations but what he sees isn’t something he was expecting.
When he reaches the cubicle, no papers have been scattered, the computer is completely fine, it’s exactly how Minseok’s room is supposed to be - neat and organized. The only thing different is a crying Minseok at the corner of the room.
That was the first and last time he saw Minseok cried. That was the night he learns about Jongdae.
♪
Minseok has learned to detach himself when it comes to his relationship with Kris. He plays the part of a good boyfriend but not a real one. Kris is okay with that. As long as at the end of the day, he gets to keep Minseok, he gets to sleep with the others’ body wrapped around his arms, he gets to kiss Minseok full on the lips. When he asks for the other’s hand in marriage just a year into their special relationship, the other hesitates for a moment but still said yes.
Minseok likes Kris. Kris loves Minseok. They talked about it. They are together like a real couple but Minseok isn’t required to reciprocate Kris’s feelings. No I Love You’s required. They’re satisfied being together. It takes away the loneliness.
Kris doesn’t have a family, and Minseok’s never accepted his sexual preference. There is nothing in between their agreement. On the day of their wedding, their guests will think it’s a happy ever after. Deep inside only they know, it will be just an event to help seal the deal.
♪
Minseok talks to Kyungsoo the day the latter punches Jongdae.
“So, you remember everything?” Kyungsoo is not amused, not one bit. It just doesn’t make sense. Faking his relationship with Jongdae. Faking his relationship with Kris. If everything is fake surrounding the guy right in front of him, how can he believe that what he’s talking about is real.
“I’m fucked up, Kyungsoo. I didn’t deserve Jongdae the first time, I’m not willing to lose him again second time around. We’ve both been hurt. I just want to keep him. At least as a friend.” Minseok’s eyes are pleading. He will go down on his knees if he needs to. Kyungsoo is staring right back at him for a good few seconds when he heaves a sigh.
“You’re hurting him right now.” Kyungsoo takes a sip of the black coffee. He doesn’t know if the bitterness is coming from the drink or from his mouth.
“He deserves closure.”
“We both do. But if I tell him I remember him, I remember every single thing of why I love him. I won’t be able to control myself. I will do everything to get him back. And that’s the thing. I am who I am when I’m with him. Jongdae can only be the one who can keep the real me. That man - may be loving but he is selfish, conceited, and I may not keep my promises again. I’ll end up hurting him again. But I know someone who won’t.” Minseok looks at Kyungsoo straight in the eye. He can feel his heart racing rapidly. It might be the pain from saying that last sentence.
“You don’t know me, Minseok-ssi. Jongdae may have told you something about us. But I can’t guarantee that I can love him better.” It’s the truth. Kyungsoo has his flaws as well but he’s willing to be with Jongdae.
Minseok chuckles. Kyungsoo smirks a little. They’re just running around circles. Minseok’s giving Jongdae away. Kyungsoo is pushing Jongdae back. Reality is, no one is right in this scenario. They never have any right to dictate where Jongdae’s heart should be.
They just laugh it off, keeping all the words said as a reminder. In hopes, that someday one of them is right. Or in this case wrong.
“I try not to meddle with other people’s business. Especially of those that aren’t that familiar with me. I still don’t get your decision, Minseok-ssi. I just hope, you’re making the right one.” And with that they bid each other goodbye.
♪
On the day of the wedding, Minseok wears a tailor-made suit, a practiced smile on his face, and puts his real feelings aside. The 6 months he spent with Jongdae made him feel fixed and broken at the same time. Jongdae may have no idea of his intentions, but at least he can move on. He can be the Jongdae that can love once again. He can be a person, Minseok failed to be.
So as Minseok says his rehearsed words to another man. A promise of love and protection (the same one he promised Jongdae - but Kris doesn’t need to know), Minseok accepts as well.
Jongdae will always be his last love.
♥-------------------------------------------------♥---------------------------------------------♥
Jongdae relaxes his shoulder trying to compose of a good thing to say.
“I met Minseok earlier and why the hell doesn’t he remember me?!?”
Author's note: Read both sides ^_^
I had an amazing time writing this prompt and hope you liked it!
Special thanks to my beta, you know who you are and to my dear maknae line ♥~
A job well done to the other writers! We made it!