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Aug 16, 2015 18:31


ONTDBB BB SEASON FOUR DIARY ROOM: WEEK FIVE!


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joyriders August 17 2015, 18:39:53 UTC
so clearly i am awful at this game. sometimes i am almost okay at it, but overall i think it's pretty clear i'm no good t this shit. i always seem to have an inkling that something is up but still always manage to end up getting screwed over by it.



i really don't know what to do at this point. i think the whole group is 100% lying to me in order to keep me ~in line~ and preventing me from exposing them. not that exposing them would even matter, vitalshot is HOH and the rest of the group controls the numbers so even if everybody left joined forces against them, they still wouldn't be able to do a ding dang thing.

so here i sit at the bottom of the totem pole. where if i don't get put up this week, i'll be the first to go the second there isn't any other option. awesome.

star tried to completely downplay the situation and act like she wouldn't have been bothered/upset if it had been done to her and i call bullshit to the highest degree. she is constantly messaging me for reassurance/to ease or indulge her paranoia so there is no way in hell she wouldn't have flipped out if i had schemed behind her back like that.

kali came for me in a really surprisingly aggressive way which honestly is what made the whole situation as dramatic as it was. it was really weird and unnecessary. also her logic has me rolling my eyes. she tried to make it out like wanting out momo was a selfish move that wasn't good for the group because momo was only coming after me and not them but then said the reasoning for getting rid of simprov was being she was going after star. which is a totally valid reasoning given it was star's HOH. but....last week when it was *my* HOH, nobody gave a shit what my preference was and that momo was coming for me. just that they thought laha was a "bigger threat" overall. which again...fine, but the double standard here is glaring.
she also outed to the group that i didn't tell vital and sofa about the alliance with dobby/wendy/simp which was rude. never mind that SHE HERSELF (and star and OMG) also agreed that vital and sofa were sort of question marks at times in our group. star in particular has come to me several times about how if anybody would flip on us, it would be vital and that sofa can be a bit "flighty" or whatever. but did i turn around at out that to the group in response? of course not. like i said, i suck at this game.

so now i've just got to sit there and pretend like everything is fine and like i don't know that everyone is lying to my face and that they have no loyalty to me whatsoever.

at the end of the night vital asked the group for suggestions on noms and i was just like, "hey whatever works for me" and star messaged me and was like, "don't you have an opinion?" and it's like...since when do you or anyone else actually give a fuck about my opinion? i had an opinion the last two weeks and look where it got me.


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