The uncertainties of life
Thanksgiving seems to be a bad time for my dad. Two years ago he fell the day before Thanksgiving and broke his arm. Afterward, and since then I've tried to get him to move into an assisted-living facility because he's 81 years old and has Parkinson's disease. But, no go. He insisted on moving back to his trailer in the trailer-park in Nehalem. That is a two hour drive over the mountains which makes it impossible for me to be there for him on a regular basis.
Cheryl and I found a lovely place about a half hour away in St. Helens that WE could live in. It has apartments that are really nice and good food (we asked the residents there) and it is clean and bright and cheerful and deer come to browse in the back gardens. They leave you alone if you want that or there are buses to take you shopping or to movies or doctor appointments or whatever. Someone will come in to clean your apartment once a week. It's really nice. But dad would have no part of it. He wouldn't even come to have lunch there and look it over. This, despite the fact that he is fragile and can't get up and down easily and he can barely totter around. Parkinson's has ravaged his body, though his mind remains fairly alert and normal.
So, last weekend on Sunday I got a phone call from Life-Alert, which is the company that has those necklaces you wear where you can push a button if you fall and get help. I got him one of those to wear before he fell and broke his arm. This time, he saw on the TV that it was going to be windy so he went out (after dark) to pull in the trash can, lost his balance, and fell. He pushed the Life-Alert thing but it took about ten minutes for them to call his phone, get no answer, and call a nearby responder who went to check on him. During that time, my dad lay in the rain, calling for help and getting none. When the man came and found him, he threw a blanket over him not wanting to move him and called 911. Another fifteen minutes or so and the ambulance came and they took him to a hospital.
Well, he broke his hip. His doctor said he was anemic, (he doesn't eat enough) dehydrated, (he doesn't drink enough fluids) and his calcium level was very low which is why his hip broke (he doesn't watch his diet or take vitamin/mineral supplements). So on Friday they replaced his hip. The next day when Cheryl and I went to see him, no one could wake him up which concerned me a lot. He looked - terrible, like an old, wasted man who is about to die. This is my tall, strong, handsome dad who fought in World War II and the Korean War and was in the Navy for 21 years. It hurts to see him this way. They gave him 3 pints of blood and the next day his color was a lot better but his future is uncertain. I hope fervently that he will NOT be able to go back to his trailer. I know he won't want to leave it but I can't help him or check on him when he's so far away and although a woman comes in once a week to clean and she also takes him to his doctor appointments and shopping, I feel very helpless with him so far away. I can't drive over the mountains once it starts to get icy and that's a lot of the winter. The jury is still out on what will happen to him now.
Add to this that both dogs picked up some weird parasite called Strongalaides (sp), probably at the beach last weekend, that causes diarrhea. Lucy, the 8-month old pug/terrier mix has been losing it regularly in her kennel while we are at work or gone to see dad or during the night and that means that all her blankets have to be pulled out and double-washed in hot water and bleach and the kennel has to be sterilized. Both dogs are on a course of medicine for five days but so far it hasn't helped with the poop issue. We are getting pretty good at snapping into poop-mode, in fact we have it down to a science. One person takes blankets outside and hits them with a hose, the other one starts the washing machine and takes the kennel apart, and so on.
Add to this a change of work at work to new duties, and the fact that we are having the pond redone to make it work better and stop the pump hose from backing out of the upper pond and draining the pond (let me tell you that 4 koi and some very fat goldfish do NOT like it when the pond is only a foot deep and they are swimming around mostly exposed) and a Cam event next weekend that my character is hosting and which I'm decorating for and trying to make gifts for and well...I think my stress level has peaked. We were supposed to catch all the fish this weekend and put them in barrels to ride out the pond remake but never got to it so had to put the whole thing off. We got the nets, we got the barrels. This week will be "catch the fish" week. In addition to "run see dad every night after work" week, and "the Poop Game" week. Oh, and the "make beaded stuff for the Potlatch" week.
Normally I do stress pretty well but I have to admit that I'm twitchy right now. Thank God for Cheryl, who hadn't once complained about the poop thing though she comes home first and has born the brunt of it.
What do I want for Christmas this year? Well...for dad to agree to go into a place that he can live with someone near by if he needs help - and - SOLID poops for both dogs. Just...solid poops. Surely that is not too much to ask.
Cheryl and I found a lovely place about a half hour away in St. Helens that WE could live in. It has apartments that are really nice and good food (we asked the residents there) and it is clean and bright and cheerful and deer come to browse in the back gardens. They leave you alone if you want that or there are buses to take you shopping or to movies or doctor appointments or whatever. Someone will come in to clean your apartment once a week. It's really nice. But dad would have no part of it. He wouldn't even come to have lunch there and look it over. This, despite the fact that he is fragile and can't get up and down easily and he can barely totter around. Parkinson's has ravaged his body, though his mind remains fairly alert and normal.
So, last weekend on Sunday I got a phone call from Life-Alert, which is the company that has those necklaces you wear where you can push a button if you fall and get help. I got him one of those to wear before he fell and broke his arm. This time, he saw on the TV that it was going to be windy so he went out (after dark) to pull in the trash can, lost his balance, and fell. He pushed the Life-Alert thing but it took about ten minutes for them to call his phone, get no answer, and call a nearby responder who went to check on him. During that time, my dad lay in the rain, calling for help and getting none. When the man came and found him, he threw a blanket over him not wanting to move him and called 911. Another fifteen minutes or so and the ambulance came and they took him to a hospital.
Well, he broke his hip. His doctor said he was anemic, (he doesn't eat enough) dehydrated, (he doesn't drink enough fluids) and his calcium level was very low which is why his hip broke (he doesn't watch his diet or take vitamin/mineral supplements). So on Friday they replaced his hip. The next day when Cheryl and I went to see him, no one could wake him up which concerned me a lot. He looked - terrible, like an old, wasted man who is about to die. This is my tall, strong, handsome dad who fought in World War II and the Korean War and was in the Navy for 21 years. It hurts to see him this way. They gave him 3 pints of blood and the next day his color was a lot better but his future is uncertain. I hope fervently that he will NOT be able to go back to his trailer. I know he won't want to leave it but I can't help him or check on him when he's so far away and although a woman comes in once a week to clean and she also takes him to his doctor appointments and shopping, I feel very helpless with him so far away. I can't drive over the mountains once it starts to get icy and that's a lot of the winter. The jury is still out on what will happen to him now.
Add to this that both dogs picked up some weird parasite called Strongalaides (sp), probably at the beach last weekend, that causes diarrhea. Lucy, the 8-month old pug/terrier mix has been losing it regularly in her kennel while we are at work or gone to see dad or during the night and that means that all her blankets have to be pulled out and double-washed in hot water and bleach and the kennel has to be sterilized. Both dogs are on a course of medicine for five days but so far it hasn't helped with the poop issue. We are getting pretty good at snapping into poop-mode, in fact we have it down to a science. One person takes blankets outside and hits them with a hose, the other one starts the washing machine and takes the kennel apart, and so on.
Add to this a change of work at work to new duties, and the fact that we are having the pond redone to make it work better and stop the pump hose from backing out of the upper pond and draining the pond (let me tell you that 4 koi and some very fat goldfish do NOT like it when the pond is only a foot deep and they are swimming around mostly exposed) and a Cam event next weekend that my character is hosting and which I'm decorating for and trying to make gifts for and well...I think my stress level has peaked. We were supposed to catch all the fish this weekend and put them in barrels to ride out the pond remake but never got to it so had to put the whole thing off. We got the nets, we got the barrels. This week will be "catch the fish" week. In addition to "run see dad every night after work" week, and "the Poop Game" week. Oh, and the "make beaded stuff for the Potlatch" week.
Normally I do stress pretty well but I have to admit that I'm twitchy right now. Thank God for Cheryl, who hadn't once complained about the poop thing though she comes home first and has born the brunt of it.
What do I want for Christmas this year? Well...for dad to agree to go into a place that he can live with someone near by if he needs help - and - SOLID poops for both dogs. Just...solid poops. Surely that is not too much to ask.