declaration of war : battle of the bastard.
WOW. so, i was going to post yesterday, but then some friends i haven't seen in months came over. actually, it works out better this way, so i can just make one huge monster post.
so. i'm currently waging war with mr. basford. for full details, as always, follow the cut.
sunday. things begin innocently enough. christine, kate and i work our butts off to make this history booklet for fourth graders all freakin' day, and we actually end up having a lot of fun with it (surprise, much?). we're all like, YES. one history assignment that we don't ABSOLUTELY HATE. it's like, a miracle.
monday. the book is done. we show it to mr basford. i can't remember all of the conversation, but here are some snippets :
basford : now, if you'll just follow me into my office... *gestures to a desk*
kate and christine : YOU DON'T HAVE AN OFFICE.
me : guys, don't ruin his game of let's pretend! students shouldn't be the crushing a teacher's imagination! that's the TEACHER'S job!
and then, as the conversation goes on :
b : *reading from the book* "there once was this scottish dude named lord selkirk, who was filthy rich." *looks up* hmm, filthy rich. i don't think you can use that phrase. that's a pejorative.
me : no it's NOT. it's IDIOSYNCRATIC language. (note : it wasn't really, i meant to say IDIOMATIC, but it's not like he can tell the difference anyway.)
b : which side of this desk are you on?
m : well, since this IS an imaginary office, i can tell which of our chairs is supposed to be the plushier one.
then, it goes on :
b : now, do you really think fourth graders will understand this?
kate, christine, me : yes, they'll understand.
basford : but do you think their teachers will understand?
us : yes, they'll understand.
b : see, YOU don't understand. just because they're filthy doesn't mean they're rich. i know you're from the north end, but...
wait. stop. rewind. some of you will probably think i'm making this up. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP. he actually went and said :
"i know you're from the north end, but..."
yeah. i just needed to have that stated for the record.
so things continue on in this vein for the next ten minutes. kate, christine and i are all smiling and nodding as he continues being a condescending asshole. i smile so hard my teeth start to hurt, and i just get madder and madder and madder and madder until i finally snap, slam my hands on the desk, and shout :
"IT DOESN'T MEAN THEY'RE DIRTY!"
unfortunately, i happened to forget that we were in a library.
(you have to understand, this was after a week of drama classes where we shouted as loud as we could, every single day, for vocal warm ups. just needed to add that)
so the WHOLE LIBRARY turns. and looks at me. and all i managed to get out is, "i need to go the washroom", and i book it out of there as fast as i can, before the librarians can throw me out. to tell the truth, the librarians were staring too.
so i get out of there, and cool my head (literally) in the washroom, and as soon as i get out of the washroom, i take one look at the library - and just WALK AWAY. just walk away. i go all the way to corvino's, rant to her about the whole thing, and she gives me candy and pointers on what to say to him the next day. i had the strangest mixture of feelings - first, there was the pissed off- ness. but almost over riding it was this feeling that what just happened was TOTALLY SURREAL. i mean, it was so RIDICULOUSLY STUPID, i can't believe that it actually happened.
and, you know, there was elation. cause i finally got to let out some steam.
as my dad put it later on, "so you handed it to your teacher, eh?"
later on, kate, christine, katia, and dom all come upstairs, "looking" for me. apparently this was how their conversation with basford went, after it was apparent i wasn't coming back :
them : do you want us to look for chen?
b : oh, no, it's all right, i can handle it.
them : .... do you want to die?
and then they went and found me in corvino's, and told me that basford wanted to talk to me. my answer to that was pretty much, "FUCK that, i'm not gonna talk to him until i'm ready to talk to him, and i am not ready to talk to him. i'm reasonable enough to know when i'm being unreasonable, and if i go back there now, i am going to BITE HIS HEAD OFF."
so they go back to the library and tell basford that they searched for me everywhere with no success. (i love my friends. you guys rock so hard.) i come back to my locker when the bell rings, to cheers of "YOU'RE MY HERO" and i do a little stage bow.
i go home, tell this story to my mother. she gasps and says, "are you going to be SUSPENDED?"
i snort, and say, "MOM. it's BASFORD. if he suspends me, i'll just yell at him until he unsuspends me."
oh. also. apparently, he's making us change "filthy rich" to "really, really, really rich". corvino says we should change it to "overwhelmingly, fantastically, BEYOND IMAGINING-LY rich." she also says that i should say to basford, "the way you act makes me want to scream."
i love ms corvino so much.
tuesday (today). so. today. i have a game plan. i have a good idea of what i'm going to say to basford. i tell this whole story to mary and donna and say, "yeah. i'm going to be as objective and reasonable as possible. i'm going to be reasonable if it KILLS me. i'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt. i'm going to tell him, i apologize for not handling my emotions in a mature way, but that does NOT change the way that i feel."
apparently mr basford talked to mr tulner this morning about how we act up in his class, and tulner (who apparently rolled his eyes and looked irritated when mr basford called on him XD) was very kind and defended us, saying that we were good kids, we just got a little "emotional" sometimes. (i think the word "histrionics" might have too many syllables [and too many i's!] for mr basford to understand.)
i've already decided that i'm not going to throw a temper tantrum and be like I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU, i'm going to give him a list of solid reasons as to why i hate his class and the way that he treats us (mostly like we're five years old). unfortunately, tulner is out of the room when i make this speech, so he is forced to make a very similar speech to our entire class in english. but he says pretty much the exact same thing i did, he just uses different words ; instead of "objective and reasonable", he says "professional, civil, and courteous".
and, as i found out later, apparently other teachers have complained to tulner about us, and there have been several "incidents" with our class. (btw, mckenzie is my hero - she's battled basford as well). so yay, we're all horrible together.
so i'm like, okay. i'll be the better man. woman. teenager. teenage girl. i'll be the better whatever.
so. after history today. i go. and i fucking APOLOGIZE to him, blah blah mature blah blah emotional blah blah blah. and he says, he says. "i accept your apology. this is jut our first semester together." (ONLY, i think in my head. ONLY.) "and i'm starting to understand that you're all capable young women, you're just a little high strung."
what. the. FUCK.
(as ms ianone said afterwards, "what is THAT supposed to mean?")
and it's like BANG. I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS. after we've just got this thing dealt with, he goes back to being the same condescending asshole that he's been the WHOLE TIME. he doesn't realise that it's not about THIS incident, it's about the way he treats us ALL THE TIME. as if this whole thing has been ENTIRELY my fault, and that he didn't play ANY PART IN IT WHATSOEVER. i confess that i was partly at fault, but so was he. and now he decides to FORGIVE me? get off your high fucking horse.
so i sat there, and i remembered what tulner said, and i figured it out : yeah, this guy doesn't get it. he's never going to get it. ever. and i'm not gonna bother explaining to him. so i said, "i have to go to law." and i booked it out of there.
and i didn't even manage to get into the law classroom before i started crying. i was so extraordinarily PISSED off at him, that i was actually crying. bandfield was super worried, and he asked me if would go talk to ms ianone. and i said i would, after i talked to ms corvino. so i got up to corvino's, told her it went horrible, and she said, "mr heshka and ms ianone were just here. mr bandfield actually talked to them and said, 'i have a student named gretchen derige who is visibly upset over an incident with a teacher'.
so we went to the office and i had this huge long talk not only with ms ianone but with mr heshka. and i told them pretty much EVERYTHING. not just about yesterday, but the whole year, about how godawful it's been. oh wait, this one part was great :
me : so he says, 'just because they're rich doesn't mean they're filthy. i know you're from the north end, but -'
ms i and mr h : WAIT. WHAT did he say? can you repeat that?
me : *repeat what i just said*
ms i : WOW. does he realise that all 1700 students AT THIS SCHOOL, and that a whole bunch of the 100 staff, are all from the NORTH END? that his school is IN the north end? mr heshka, you're from the north end, aren't you?
mr h : yes i am, AND PROUD OF IT.
ms i : see, that comment was made in complete ignorance. filthy rich is a statement in literature. that's not pejorative. what HE just said, about the north end? THAT'S pejorative.
so. now they want me to write this letter, telling mr basford pretty much everything i told them, about everything that i think about his teaching, about him being unreasonable, and not having any respect for us or our opinions, or just being outright offensive and ignorant. about filthy rich! about that STUPID history field trip! about the free university for aboriginals! all of them. and ms ianone thought of the greatest title :
We're Only From the North End, But...
and she told me to get all of my other friends from accel who are in his class to help write it, anybody who's in history who's pissed off and fed up and has had enough. and ms i wants a personal copy for mr heshka, they want to see it before anybody else. ms i's like, "and you should write, 'i have had the opportunity to talk to mr heshka, and he said that HE grew up and was raised in the north end. are you aware of what you're implying about mr heshka, our principal?'"
and, oh, a beautiful moment :
mr h : i'm not sure how he'll react about this letter. but if he acts in any way that makes you feel uncomfortable, or if he chastises you, just excuse yourself and come straight HERE. because this office is supporting you.
me : is it okay if i bring people?
mr h : oh yes, definitely.
me : even if it's seven or eight?
ms i : definitely! bring them ALL! you know, you and your friends should ALL write this letter together! it will be a labour of love! tell him that you're an A+ student, who's represented sisler at the canada wide science fair, who's involved with student council, taking over freshly pressed as a co-editor, and generation peace as the president. tell him all of that. make him listen to you. and slant the whole thing around the north end.
and then, later on, she called me down to the office again to show me this beautiful, beautiful thing :
http://www.yourdictionary.com/ahd/f/f0123150.html
i have learned many things today. mostly that heroes DO exist, and that they are our teachers. our teachers who are awesome : corvino, tulner, bandfield - and our admin people who are equally awesome : ms ianone and mr heshka. and also my parents, who were highly entertained and extremely proud of me for standing up for myself. and of course all of my friends, including you guys, and all the other people at school who have backed me up (even the illiterate! even SHE said she would back me up!) having what little faith in mr basford get completely destroyed just restored my faith in the rest of the human race.
so. anybody in history who has any ideas for the letter, just leave a comment! i'll be working on on this, and on english, all day today. =D
EDIT : my mother expressly says, "i told you so" because she told me to march straight up to heshka the second i started complaining about history. moral of the story : mommy knows best.
2ND EDIT : wow, so apparently a bunch of people keep linking to this entry. XD all you people who don't have LJs, feel free to post an anonymous comment just so's i have an idea of who's reading. seems like everyone likes a good rebellion? XD
so. i'm currently waging war with mr. basford. for full details, as always, follow the cut.
sunday. things begin innocently enough. christine, kate and i work our butts off to make this history booklet for fourth graders all freakin' day, and we actually end up having a lot of fun with it (surprise, much?). we're all like, YES. one history assignment that we don't ABSOLUTELY HATE. it's like, a miracle.
monday. the book is done. we show it to mr basford. i can't remember all of the conversation, but here are some snippets :
basford : now, if you'll just follow me into my office... *gestures to a desk*
kate and christine : YOU DON'T HAVE AN OFFICE.
me : guys, don't ruin his game of let's pretend! students shouldn't be the crushing a teacher's imagination! that's the TEACHER'S job!
and then, as the conversation goes on :
b : *reading from the book* "there once was this scottish dude named lord selkirk, who was filthy rich." *looks up* hmm, filthy rich. i don't think you can use that phrase. that's a pejorative.
me : no it's NOT. it's IDIOSYNCRATIC language. (note : it wasn't really, i meant to say IDIOMATIC, but it's not like he can tell the difference anyway.)
b : which side of this desk are you on?
m : well, since this IS an imaginary office, i can tell which of our chairs is supposed to be the plushier one.
then, it goes on :
b : now, do you really think fourth graders will understand this?
kate, christine, me : yes, they'll understand.
basford : but do you think their teachers will understand?
us : yes, they'll understand.
b : see, YOU don't understand. just because they're filthy doesn't mean they're rich. i know you're from the north end, but...
wait. stop. rewind. some of you will probably think i'm making this up. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP. he actually went and said :
"i know you're from the north end, but..."
yeah. i just needed to have that stated for the record.
so things continue on in this vein for the next ten minutes. kate, christine and i are all smiling and nodding as he continues being a condescending asshole. i smile so hard my teeth start to hurt, and i just get madder and madder and madder and madder until i finally snap, slam my hands on the desk, and shout :
"IT DOESN'T MEAN THEY'RE DIRTY!"
unfortunately, i happened to forget that we were in a library.
(you have to understand, this was after a week of drama classes where we shouted as loud as we could, every single day, for vocal warm ups. just needed to add that)
so the WHOLE LIBRARY turns. and looks at me. and all i managed to get out is, "i need to go the washroom", and i book it out of there as fast as i can, before the librarians can throw me out. to tell the truth, the librarians were staring too.
so i get out of there, and cool my head (literally) in the washroom, and as soon as i get out of the washroom, i take one look at the library - and just WALK AWAY. just walk away. i go all the way to corvino's, rant to her about the whole thing, and she gives me candy and pointers on what to say to him the next day. i had the strangest mixture of feelings - first, there was the pissed off- ness. but almost over riding it was this feeling that what just happened was TOTALLY SURREAL. i mean, it was so RIDICULOUSLY STUPID, i can't believe that it actually happened.
and, you know, there was elation. cause i finally got to let out some steam.
as my dad put it later on, "so you handed it to your teacher, eh?"
later on, kate, christine, katia, and dom all come upstairs, "looking" for me. apparently this was how their conversation with basford went, after it was apparent i wasn't coming back :
them : do you want us to look for chen?
b : oh, no, it's all right, i can handle it.
them : .... do you want to die?
and then they went and found me in corvino's, and told me that basford wanted to talk to me. my answer to that was pretty much, "FUCK that, i'm not gonna talk to him until i'm ready to talk to him, and i am not ready to talk to him. i'm reasonable enough to know when i'm being unreasonable, and if i go back there now, i am going to BITE HIS HEAD OFF."
so they go back to the library and tell basford that they searched for me everywhere with no success. (i love my friends. you guys rock so hard.) i come back to my locker when the bell rings, to cheers of "YOU'RE MY HERO" and i do a little stage bow.
i go home, tell this story to my mother. she gasps and says, "are you going to be SUSPENDED?"
i snort, and say, "MOM. it's BASFORD. if he suspends me, i'll just yell at him until he unsuspends me."
oh. also. apparently, he's making us change "filthy rich" to "really, really, really rich". corvino says we should change it to "overwhelmingly, fantastically, BEYOND IMAGINING-LY rich." she also says that i should say to basford, "the way you act makes me want to scream."
i love ms corvino so much.
tuesday (today). so. today. i have a game plan. i have a good idea of what i'm going to say to basford. i tell this whole story to mary and donna and say, "yeah. i'm going to be as objective and reasonable as possible. i'm going to be reasonable if it KILLS me. i'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt. i'm going to tell him, i apologize for not handling my emotions in a mature way, but that does NOT change the way that i feel."
apparently mr basford talked to mr tulner this morning about how we act up in his class, and tulner (who apparently rolled his eyes and looked irritated when mr basford called on him XD) was very kind and defended us, saying that we were good kids, we just got a little "emotional" sometimes. (i think the word "histrionics" might have too many syllables [and too many i's!] for mr basford to understand.)
i've already decided that i'm not going to throw a temper tantrum and be like I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU, i'm going to give him a list of solid reasons as to why i hate his class and the way that he treats us (mostly like we're five years old). unfortunately, tulner is out of the room when i make this speech, so he is forced to make a very similar speech to our entire class in english. but he says pretty much the exact same thing i did, he just uses different words ; instead of "objective and reasonable", he says "professional, civil, and courteous".
and, as i found out later, apparently other teachers have complained to tulner about us, and there have been several "incidents" with our class. (btw, mckenzie is my hero - she's battled basford as well). so yay, we're all horrible together.
so i'm like, okay. i'll be the better man. woman. teenager. teenage girl. i'll be the better whatever.
so. after history today. i go. and i fucking APOLOGIZE to him, blah blah mature blah blah emotional blah blah blah. and he says, he says. "i accept your apology. this is jut our first semester together." (ONLY, i think in my head. ONLY.) "and i'm starting to understand that you're all capable young women, you're just a little high strung."
what. the. FUCK.
(as ms ianone said afterwards, "what is THAT supposed to mean?")
and it's like BANG. I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS. after we've just got this thing dealt with, he goes back to being the same condescending asshole that he's been the WHOLE TIME. he doesn't realise that it's not about THIS incident, it's about the way he treats us ALL THE TIME. as if this whole thing has been ENTIRELY my fault, and that he didn't play ANY PART IN IT WHATSOEVER. i confess that i was partly at fault, but so was he. and now he decides to FORGIVE me? get off your high fucking horse.
so i sat there, and i remembered what tulner said, and i figured it out : yeah, this guy doesn't get it. he's never going to get it. ever. and i'm not gonna bother explaining to him. so i said, "i have to go to law." and i booked it out of there.
and i didn't even manage to get into the law classroom before i started crying. i was so extraordinarily PISSED off at him, that i was actually crying. bandfield was super worried, and he asked me if would go talk to ms ianone. and i said i would, after i talked to ms corvino. so i got up to corvino's, told her it went horrible, and she said, "mr heshka and ms ianone were just here. mr bandfield actually talked to them and said, 'i have a student named gretchen derige who is visibly upset over an incident with a teacher'.
so we went to the office and i had this huge long talk not only with ms ianone but with mr heshka. and i told them pretty much EVERYTHING. not just about yesterday, but the whole year, about how godawful it's been. oh wait, this one part was great :
me : so he says, 'just because they're rich doesn't mean they're filthy. i know you're from the north end, but -'
ms i and mr h : WAIT. WHAT did he say? can you repeat that?
me : *repeat what i just said*
ms i : WOW. does he realise that all 1700 students AT THIS SCHOOL, and that a whole bunch of the 100 staff, are all from the NORTH END? that his school is IN the north end? mr heshka, you're from the north end, aren't you?
mr h : yes i am, AND PROUD OF IT.
ms i : see, that comment was made in complete ignorance. filthy rich is a statement in literature. that's not pejorative. what HE just said, about the north end? THAT'S pejorative.
so. now they want me to write this letter, telling mr basford pretty much everything i told them, about everything that i think about his teaching, about him being unreasonable, and not having any respect for us or our opinions, or just being outright offensive and ignorant. about filthy rich! about that STUPID history field trip! about the free university for aboriginals! all of them. and ms ianone thought of the greatest title :
We're Only From the North End, But...
and she told me to get all of my other friends from accel who are in his class to help write it, anybody who's in history who's pissed off and fed up and has had enough. and ms i wants a personal copy for mr heshka, they want to see it before anybody else. ms i's like, "and you should write, 'i have had the opportunity to talk to mr heshka, and he said that HE grew up and was raised in the north end. are you aware of what you're implying about mr heshka, our principal?'"
and, oh, a beautiful moment :
mr h : i'm not sure how he'll react about this letter. but if he acts in any way that makes you feel uncomfortable, or if he chastises you, just excuse yourself and come straight HERE. because this office is supporting you.
me : is it okay if i bring people?
mr h : oh yes, definitely.
me : even if it's seven or eight?
ms i : definitely! bring them ALL! you know, you and your friends should ALL write this letter together! it will be a labour of love! tell him that you're an A+ student, who's represented sisler at the canada wide science fair, who's involved with student council, taking over freshly pressed as a co-editor, and generation peace as the president. tell him all of that. make him listen to you. and slant the whole thing around the north end.
and then, later on, she called me down to the office again to show me this beautiful, beautiful thing :
http://www.yourdictionary.com/ahd/f/f0123150.html
i have learned many things today. mostly that heroes DO exist, and that they are our teachers. our teachers who are awesome : corvino, tulner, bandfield - and our admin people who are equally awesome : ms ianone and mr heshka. and also my parents, who were highly entertained and extremely proud of me for standing up for myself. and of course all of my friends, including you guys, and all the other people at school who have backed me up (even the illiterate! even SHE said she would back me up!) having what little faith in mr basford get completely destroyed just restored my faith in the rest of the human race.
so. anybody in history who has any ideas for the letter, just leave a comment! i'll be working on on this, and on english, all day today. =D
EDIT : my mother expressly says, "i told you so" because she told me to march straight up to heshka the second i started complaining about history. moral of the story : mommy knows best.
2ND EDIT : wow, so apparently a bunch of people keep linking to this entry. XD all you people who don't have LJs, feel free to post an anonymous comment just so's i have an idea of who's reading. seems like everyone likes a good rebellion? XD