(no subject)
i love you. so much. you've affected my life in ways that you'll never know. like most things going on right now, this is absolutely amazing and it hasn't even been very long. i can NOT imagggiinne how insanely incredible it's going to be in the future. that's basically how everything is now. i've been so happy and realized so many things lately. i'm so aware. that's how i feel. very aware. and it hasn't even been very long. it's already paid off for all of the shit i went through. all of the pain, the memories, the fucked-up situations and things that i've done, the tears, and the shame. my life today is already worth what i went through. i cannot even begin to imagine how much change im about to go through. i cannot wait for the future, and i have never had that before. sure i've had good times in my life, but ive always been afraid of what's to come. i've always had fear of myself fucking something or someone up. ruining everything, because that's how it always seemed to be. i don't have that fear anymore. not that i don't have any fear about anything, but not about my future anymore. it's an amazing feeling. i'm overwhelmed with the change and gratitude i have now. i'm greatful for things that i never even realized i had. i know that i have rough roads ahead of me (especially december 28), but i'm ready. and now i have hope and faith that i can get through it. and i will. of course it will be upsetting, but i'll get through it. because i can handle anything now.these past few months have been life and mind changing. i've learned so much from so many new people. i have some of the best friends now. i've grown SO much, and i'll continue that. i'm excited for the future, and that's new too. i'm excited to see what's to come, good and bad.
i am so greatful, so aware, so excited, and so fucking happy.
i am so greatful, so aware, so excited, and so fucking happy.