Toe-touching update!
It's been a long time since I last updated you on my epic quest to touch my toes. And, now, I'm happy to report that...
I DID IT! WOOOOOO!
Okay, I actually did it a couple of months ago, and never bothered to report it on here. Now I can put my fingers just about flat onto the ground, and I'm thinking about working my way to my palms. Let's not rush things, though.
It turns out that stretching every night does actually make you more flexible. Who woulda thought? For those of you that would also like to be as flexible as a normal human being, here is my extremely rigorous nightly routine. I think I'll call it P91X:
1) Stand several feet away from a wall, bend backwards, and put your palms on the wall. Bend over as far backwards as you can and hold it for 30 seconds. If you're really flexible, you can do that backwards bridge thing, but then if you're capable of doing that, you don't have to bother reading these steps.
2) Cross one leg over the other, bend over as far as you can, hold for 30 seconds. Switch legs and do it again.
3) Sit on the ground, extend your right leg, bend over it as far as you can and grab your toes, and hold for 30 seconds. Do the same with your left leg.
4) In a doorway, put one leg up vertically on the doorframe with your other leg extending through the door. Lean forward as far as you can. Hold for 30 seconds. Switch legs and do it again.
5) Finally, stand up with your legs together, bend over as far as you can, and try to touch your toes. Hold for 30 seconds.
This whole routine can be done in six or seven minutes, unless, like me, you get to a part you don't like and dawdle for five minutes checking your fantasy baseball team or sipping Cherry Coke.
It's often been said that, the more you do some sort of exercise routine (if this even counts as exercise), the less obnoxious it becomes. Let me tell you that this is not true at all. I've been doing this dumb routine for months, and I still absolutely hate it. The thing about stretching is that, even when you become more flexible, you just try to stretch farther the next day. The whole point is to stretch until it hurts and then hold it there. And it freaking sucks.
Other than the pride that comes with touching one's toes, I have seen absolutely no benefit from my newfound flexibility. It's not like I was pulling muscles before, and I rarely have occasion to pick things up without flexing my knees. But at least I don't feel like a toad every time I bend over.
Buoyed by my success, I decided to try that "100 Pushups" thing that is all the rage these days. The idea of that program, of course, is to get to the point where you can do 100 straight pushups without stopping. I figured that would be good for my self-esteem, and maybe put some oomph into my tennis strokes. In a couple of weeks, I worked my way up from 31 to 44. Then, in straining to finish off pushup number 44, I wrenched something awful in my back.
So, you know, maybe I'll stick to stretching.
I DID IT! WOOOOOO!
Okay, I actually did it a couple of months ago, and never bothered to report it on here. Now I can put my fingers just about flat onto the ground, and I'm thinking about working my way to my palms. Let's not rush things, though.
It turns out that stretching every night does actually make you more flexible. Who woulda thought? For those of you that would also like to be as flexible as a normal human being, here is my extremely rigorous nightly routine. I think I'll call it P91X:
1) Stand several feet away from a wall, bend backwards, and put your palms on the wall. Bend over as far backwards as you can and hold it for 30 seconds. If you're really flexible, you can do that backwards bridge thing, but then if you're capable of doing that, you don't have to bother reading these steps.
2) Cross one leg over the other, bend over as far as you can, hold for 30 seconds. Switch legs and do it again.
3) Sit on the ground, extend your right leg, bend over it as far as you can and grab your toes, and hold for 30 seconds. Do the same with your left leg.
4) In a doorway, put one leg up vertically on the doorframe with your other leg extending through the door. Lean forward as far as you can. Hold for 30 seconds. Switch legs and do it again.
5) Finally, stand up with your legs together, bend over as far as you can, and try to touch your toes. Hold for 30 seconds.
This whole routine can be done in six or seven minutes, unless, like me, you get to a part you don't like and dawdle for five minutes checking your fantasy baseball team or sipping Cherry Coke.
It's often been said that, the more you do some sort of exercise routine (if this even counts as exercise), the less obnoxious it becomes. Let me tell you that this is not true at all. I've been doing this dumb routine for months, and I still absolutely hate it. The thing about stretching is that, even when you become more flexible, you just try to stretch farther the next day. The whole point is to stretch until it hurts and then hold it there. And it freaking sucks.
Other than the pride that comes with touching one's toes, I have seen absolutely no benefit from my newfound flexibility. It's not like I was pulling muscles before, and I rarely have occasion to pick things up without flexing my knees. But at least I don't feel like a toad every time I bend over.
Buoyed by my success, I decided to try that "100 Pushups" thing that is all the rage these days. The idea of that program, of course, is to get to the point where you can do 100 straight pushups without stopping. I figured that would be good for my self-esteem, and maybe put some oomph into my tennis strokes. In a couple of weeks, I worked my way up from 31 to 44. Then, in straining to finish off pushup number 44, I wrenched something awful in my back.
So, you know, maybe I'll stick to stretching.