High-Fear Patients
I've never had a problem going to the dentist. In fact, I've always rather liked it. My old dentist, in Ohio, had a hygienist who filled her little corner of the office with zebras. She had a gentle touch and would let me read while she cleaned my teeth.* It was kind of relaxing. So I never understood people who were afraid of the dentist, and I scoffed when I saw an ad promising "Sedated dentistry for High-Fear Patients!"
*This isn't easy, but if you're nerdy enough, you can make it work.
Well, I've got a new dentist in North Carolina, and... I'm a little scared of him. It started the first time I went there, when his hygienist hacked my gums to ribbons with her brutal little hook. When he came to take a look for himself, he proceeded to do the same. My mouth hurt for a solid two days afterwards. The second time I went, only the hygienist hacked at my gums, which made me think that things were getting better. Still, I told myself that I would get another dentist when the time for my next appointment rolled around.
It's a funny thing about that sort of decision, though. After six months, when it was finally time for another appointment, my resolve had worn off. After that much time, you kind of forget what you hated about the dentist. Maybe it wasn't really that bad. Maybe you just played it up in your head. And hey, you already have an appointment scheduled, and it would be a lot of trouble to change it, and the new dentist would probably want to take x-rays again, and... oh, I'll just give Dr. Thompson another chance.
Well, I went back to that same dentist this week, and settled into the chair as the hygienist pulled out her pick, and SON OF A GUN THAT FREAKING HURTS!
That hygienist picked at me like she was trying to break up a frozen chunk of ice. I yelped and spat out blood and tried to think about World Cup Soccer. But the worst part was when the dentist himself showed up to check me out, and had the nerve to say "It looks like your gums are all red and puffy. They don't look good at all. I think you may have an early stage of gingivitis."
I wanted to say something like, "I think they were in pretty good shape until Freddy Krueger here went to town on them." But instead I said something overly polite, like "Well, maybe the cleaning puffed them up a bit."
Look, I'm not a big flosser, and I know I should be. I've always liked the Mitch Hedberg joke where he muses that "People always tell me how hard it is to quit smoking. I know how hard it is to quit smoking. It's exactly as hard as it is to START FLOSSING." And I'm going to try to be better -- I've flossed every day since the appointment. But I've never had a cavity, no dentist has ever said a bad word about my teeth until this one, and to be honest, that hygienist probably caused me more pain than any tooth issue I've ever had.**
**That's not entirely true. When my first orthodontist put a ROW OF SPIKES on the inside of my teeth to keep me from pushing on them with my tongue, that was more painful. But I'm not counting the work of sadists.
So I'm going to try to take better care of my teeth, but I'm also going to see a different dentist next time around. Not the sedation guy, but somebody different. For real this time.
And if I write this same entry in six months, somebody smack me.
*This isn't easy, but if you're nerdy enough, you can make it work.
Well, I've got a new dentist in North Carolina, and... I'm a little scared of him. It started the first time I went there, when his hygienist hacked my gums to ribbons with her brutal little hook. When he came to take a look for himself, he proceeded to do the same. My mouth hurt for a solid two days afterwards. The second time I went, only the hygienist hacked at my gums, which made me think that things were getting better. Still, I told myself that I would get another dentist when the time for my next appointment rolled around.
It's a funny thing about that sort of decision, though. After six months, when it was finally time for another appointment, my resolve had worn off. After that much time, you kind of forget what you hated about the dentist. Maybe it wasn't really that bad. Maybe you just played it up in your head. And hey, you already have an appointment scheduled, and it would be a lot of trouble to change it, and the new dentist would probably want to take x-rays again, and... oh, I'll just give Dr. Thompson another chance.
Well, I went back to that same dentist this week, and settled into the chair as the hygienist pulled out her pick, and SON OF A GUN THAT FREAKING HURTS!
That hygienist picked at me like she was trying to break up a frozen chunk of ice. I yelped and spat out blood and tried to think about World Cup Soccer. But the worst part was when the dentist himself showed up to check me out, and had the nerve to say "It looks like your gums are all red and puffy. They don't look good at all. I think you may have an early stage of gingivitis."
I wanted to say something like, "I think they were in pretty good shape until Freddy Krueger here went to town on them." But instead I said something overly polite, like "Well, maybe the cleaning puffed them up a bit."
Look, I'm not a big flosser, and I know I should be. I've always liked the Mitch Hedberg joke where he muses that "People always tell me how hard it is to quit smoking. I know how hard it is to quit smoking. It's exactly as hard as it is to START FLOSSING." And I'm going to try to be better -- I've flossed every day since the appointment. But I've never had a cavity, no dentist has ever said a bad word about my teeth until this one, and to be honest, that hygienist probably caused me more pain than any tooth issue I've ever had.**
**That's not entirely true. When my first orthodontist put a ROW OF SPIKES on the inside of my teeth to keep me from pushing on them with my tongue, that was more painful. But I'm not counting the work of sadists.
So I'm going to try to take better care of my teeth, but I'm also going to see a different dentist next time around. Not the sedation guy, but somebody different. For real this time.
And if I write this same entry in six months, somebody smack me.