whoa this is long
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO what can i say?
1. moved out of my old house, it was a fucking crappy house when we moved in and it was a crappy house when we moved out, and so the also crappy rental company stole all our deposit, and then some extra...even though we only made the place BETTER than it was before. trying to dispute this at the IV tenants union
2. new house is AWESOME. things in it actually work, there are no rats, less housemates, a GARBAGE DISPOSAL instead of an eternally clogged sink, and our land lord is...nice!
3. had a CRAZY show last night with baseck
beytah , eustachian , seppuku, etc etc
4. afraid our new house is going to get destroyed =( but it's also really awesome to bring crazy music to isla vista that would otherwise not have a home
5. not sure what i'm doing with my life. summer school session B starts tomorrow and i still don't know what classes i'm taking. being an art major is really shitty, and i feel like people expect a lot from you...like because you're an art major you should have your life all figured out and have a "concentration" and be an established artist.
but really...i don't know. i like 3d works a lot, installations. but the sculpture class i took was kind of crappy, and the teachers at ucsb that teach sculpture are lame. i like drawing and painting too, i guess, but i can't help constantly feeling like there's not point to any of it. photography kind of scares me. print is awesome but it's kind of difficult when a really prominent and opinionated book artist is your housemate--you can't help constantly comparing yourself. i really like digital stuff too, like experimental films and animation that gus shows me. maybe i should have just been a film studies major. i feel like the art i've done that has been most true to myself has been mostly misunderstood and hated on.
i like just taking different art classes, and having fun with them. but not having a particular concentration, especially as a senior art major, is kind of looked down upon. i feel like i need inspiration lately. like i'm trying to force myself into liking something i maybe don't. i like horror films, and breakcore, and crazy colors. i like building things, and painting, and print, and digital media of all kinds. i think i'm just too hard on myself and i'm always like convincing myself everything i do is shitty.
6. luke came to visit, it was awkward obviously but also really cool because i haven't seen him in forever. it's weird being best friends with someone and then only seeing them once every two years.
7. i'm not going to graduate next year, and it sucks. in order for me to graduate i would need to take like like 5 classes every quarter, plus three or four next summer session.. which is kind of impossible. i wouldn't really mind that i'm not graduating on time, but gus is so close to being finished. he only needs a few more classes, and i need like 80 units. you just don't realize that taking three classes per quarter, which is the minimum and pretty normal, won't get you graduating on time if you came in with no AP units. so i'm going to have to graduate next summer i guess, and i probably won't get to take part in the graduation ceremonies. and i feel like a failure pretty much.
1. moved out of my old house, it was a fucking crappy house when we moved in and it was a crappy house when we moved out, and so the also crappy rental company stole all our deposit, and then some extra...even though we only made the place BETTER than it was before. trying to dispute this at the IV tenants union
2. new house is AWESOME. things in it actually work, there are no rats, less housemates, a GARBAGE DISPOSAL instead of an eternally clogged sink, and our land lord is...nice!
3. had a CRAZY show last night with baseck
beytah , eustachian , seppuku, etc etc
4. afraid our new house is going to get destroyed =( but it's also really awesome to bring crazy music to isla vista that would otherwise not have a home
5. not sure what i'm doing with my life. summer school session B starts tomorrow and i still don't know what classes i'm taking. being an art major is really shitty, and i feel like people expect a lot from you...like because you're an art major you should have your life all figured out and have a "concentration" and be an established artist.
but really...i don't know. i like 3d works a lot, installations. but the sculpture class i took was kind of crappy, and the teachers at ucsb that teach sculpture are lame. i like drawing and painting too, i guess, but i can't help constantly feeling like there's not point to any of it. photography kind of scares me. print is awesome but it's kind of difficult when a really prominent and opinionated book artist is your housemate--you can't help constantly comparing yourself. i really like digital stuff too, like experimental films and animation that gus shows me. maybe i should have just been a film studies major. i feel like the art i've done that has been most true to myself has been mostly misunderstood and hated on.
i like just taking different art classes, and having fun with them. but not having a particular concentration, especially as a senior art major, is kind of looked down upon. i feel like i need inspiration lately. like i'm trying to force myself into liking something i maybe don't. i like horror films, and breakcore, and crazy colors. i like building things, and painting, and print, and digital media of all kinds. i think i'm just too hard on myself and i'm always like convincing myself everything i do is shitty.
6. luke came to visit, it was awkward obviously but also really cool because i haven't seen him in forever. it's weird being best friends with someone and then only seeing them once every two years.
7. i'm not going to graduate next year, and it sucks. in order for me to graduate i would need to take like like 5 classes every quarter, plus three or four next summer session.. which is kind of impossible. i wouldn't really mind that i'm not graduating on time, but gus is so close to being finished. he only needs a few more classes, and i need like 80 units. you just don't realize that taking three classes per quarter, which is the minimum and pretty normal, won't get you graduating on time if you came in with no AP units. so i'm going to have to graduate next summer i guess, and i probably won't get to take part in the graduation ceremonies. and i feel like a failure pretty much.