(no subject)
I often feel as if my life is on rails - that is, that I'm not really in control of very much. Life just happens to me. Similar to how the ebb and flow of the great bodies of water are controlled primarily by the moon - an outside source. I don't know if this is a negative thing, but I don't much care for feeling like a puppet just acting out his part in the bigger scheme of things. Not to say I'm unhappy - a number of great things have happened: bought a house, got my 2 year degree, got married, started a business that's doing well, and most recently - became a father.
Life is good. But am I completely satisfied? There's absolutely so much more that I want to do. Maybe even need to do. Things to See. Experience. Live. If I died tomorrow I don't think I'd feel as if my life had been complete. I'm sure that's natural as I'm only 24 so I'll try to postpone meeting that fate any time soon. :)
And old friend came back into my life, David. We were homeslices back in high school then he ran off to university and seemed to want to spend more time with his frat brothers when he was in town than keep in touch with me. I was slightly bitter but really more disappointed than anything. Well - the nature of facebook helped mend that. Reconnected on there and he found out he finished his Masters just recently. Sent him a message essentially saying "I'm still proud of what you've accomplished despite you being such an arse sometimes." We ended up hanging out a couple weeks later and talked a lot about what went down so that was resolved on both sides fairly easily. More importantly we talked about his experiences with school and mine with...well, life.
It felt like we were in the Prince and the Pauper scenario (to which I always think of Mickey Mouse, hah!). I envied his accomplishments and he envied mine. It helped me find some balance in my life. I just needed someone in that world to help me stop and look around and where I am in life compared to my peers. I'm doing friggin great and will probably continue to do so. If I really wanted it bad enough I could arrange my situation better so I can focus more on school again in a couple years so not all is lost. Just delayed.
I need to find more control and balance in my life. It's fairly often that things just feel absolutely chaotic to me which starts off a whole separate chain of topics to write about. The two most recent things are trying to adjust to having a baby in the house and also dealing with mom's nonsense.
TO BE CONTINUED!
Life is good. But am I completely satisfied? There's absolutely so much more that I want to do. Maybe even need to do. Things to See. Experience. Live. If I died tomorrow I don't think I'd feel as if my life had been complete. I'm sure that's natural as I'm only 24 so I'll try to postpone meeting that fate any time soon. :)
And old friend came back into my life, David. We were homeslices back in high school then he ran off to university and seemed to want to spend more time with his frat brothers when he was in town than keep in touch with me. I was slightly bitter but really more disappointed than anything. Well - the nature of facebook helped mend that. Reconnected on there and he found out he finished his Masters just recently. Sent him a message essentially saying "I'm still proud of what you've accomplished despite you being such an arse sometimes." We ended up hanging out a couple weeks later and talked a lot about what went down so that was resolved on both sides fairly easily. More importantly we talked about his experiences with school and mine with...well, life.
It felt like we were in the Prince and the Pauper scenario (to which I always think of Mickey Mouse, hah!). I envied his accomplishments and he envied mine. It helped me find some balance in my life. I just needed someone in that world to help me stop and look around and where I am in life compared to my peers. I'm doing friggin great and will probably continue to do so. If I really wanted it bad enough I could arrange my situation better so I can focus more on school again in a couple years so not all is lost. Just delayed.
I need to find more control and balance in my life. It's fairly often that things just feel absolutely chaotic to me which starts off a whole separate chain of topics to write about. The two most recent things are trying to adjust to having a baby in the house and also dealing with mom's nonsense.
TO BE CONTINUED!