And as far as what I want to know about dope... I guess I would want to know how one develops connections for that kind of drug... does it happen just coincidentally or do you really have to be seeking it out? And if you do seek it out... why would you start doing it at 63 years old? Is it a cry for help? I don't know. I mean obviously he's trying hard to hide it... but I don't know not quite hard enough. I mean I have confronted him about finding hard drugs in his room when I was snooping ... so he knows I have snooped, I'd think he'd realize there was a chance I'd snoop again.
I guess ultimately the main thing I want to know is if it's my fault... which I guess is a pretty situation specific thing so it's not the kind of thing someone else can answer... but I just know that even though he doesn't show it he's been more and more depressed over the years and I'm he's self medicating for a condition that I'm afraid I'm contributing to it by not being the kind of daughter that would make him proud. I know he loves me but I know he's disappointed in some of the decisions I've made recently... not going back to school, not being more responsible with money, yada yada yada. And my sister is looking more and more every year like she'll never be able to have a normal life. She's had problems adjusting to adulthood and ever since the cancer and the stroke she suffered very early in life and she still lives at home and hasn't held a job in almost a year now. So he's definitely dealing with some serious stuff, but like... I can't make it better. It's just not the kind of relationship we have. I don't know. I guess that's the biggest anxiety though... that he's either self-medicating or intentionally harming himself because he doesn't get much pleasure out of life anymore. I just want to know if he's using, and if he's using is it because he just likes to have fun every once in awhile or is it something deeper that should cause more concern. Which again, I guess is pretty situation specific.
well considering he uses other substances, it could be concidental, or possibly maybe someone offered it to him.. im not sure what else to say, im sorry
I guess ultimately the main thing I want to know is if it's my fault... which I guess is a pretty situation specific thing so it's not the kind of thing someone else can answer... but I just know that even though he doesn't show it he's been more and more depressed over the years and I'm he's self medicating for a condition that I'm afraid I'm contributing to it by not being the kind of daughter that would make him proud. I know he loves me but I know he's disappointed in some of the decisions I've made recently... not going back to school, not being more responsible with money, yada yada yada. And my sister is looking more and more every year like she'll never be able to have a normal life. She's had problems adjusting to adulthood and ever since the cancer and the stroke she suffered very early in life and she still lives at home and hasn't held a job in almost a year now. So he's definitely dealing with some serious stuff, but like... I can't make it better. It's just not the kind of relationship we have. I don't know. I guess that's the biggest anxiety though... that he's either self-medicating or intentionally harming himself because he doesn't get much pleasure out of life anymore. I just want to know if he's using, and if he's using is it because he just likes to have fun every once in awhile or is it something deeper that should cause more concern. Which again, I guess is pretty situation specific.
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