(no subject)
the other day I realized that I do not have a single picture
of my entire family together.
is this indicative of something?
it makes me feel so sad, empty
to realize that I can't even look back in pictures
and remember what things used to be.
maybe I could search through old photo albums
for a glint of happiness on someone's face.
I wondered if one day we'd all get together
and say
"let's get a family portrait taken anyways, because family is family forever,"
but a photograph now,
would be a photograph of the aftermath.
it would be
stiff
posed
false
but I guess what's even worse
is that this is exact same result we would have gotten
had we gotten together for that photograph
before everything fell apart.
I don't even have a picture of my Dad.
I wonder if I'll ever forget his face.
I wonder if he'll ever remember mine.