(no subject)
I never post on here anymore. but i need to let out some..well..stuff.
I'm trying so hard to better myself, and accept that i have a problem. and it's really fucking hard. REALLY fucking hard. especially when most of the people that i am friends with here drink. bars bars bars. My life is upside down at the moment and I'm seriously freaking out. I don't know what to do, and I am confusing myself. I NEED support. I NEED my friends to be there for me. I NEED people to understand.
I am a bit depressed right now, and I have been throwing little pity parties. I know that, and I want to stop. But no one knows how I feel and how bad this all is for me. I have a had an interesting couple of years. I'm really trying to figure myself out, and man. It aint easy. I finally had a good boy. made me feel like a beautiful young woman. i felt confident. i felt happy. i felt cared for. but that didnt work, it wasnt the right time for us. and i am trying to get past that and know that there is someone out there for me that will make me feel the same way and is ready for what i want.
I am just tired. i want the life i deserve. i am a good fucking person with a huge heart. im tired of feeling like im not good enough. feeling sorry for myself. its stupid. its not worth it. and these weak moments i have are going to happen again. im just going to have to deal with it and move the fuck on.
right now, friends. i love you all. but i only have room for people who are really to be supportive and helpful for the next couple months. this is hard to do alone, but im going to get my life together. i would love for people to be a part of that.
I'm trying so hard to better myself, and accept that i have a problem. and it's really fucking hard. REALLY fucking hard. especially when most of the people that i am friends with here drink. bars bars bars. My life is upside down at the moment and I'm seriously freaking out. I don't know what to do, and I am confusing myself. I NEED support. I NEED my friends to be there for me. I NEED people to understand.
I am a bit depressed right now, and I have been throwing little pity parties. I know that, and I want to stop. But no one knows how I feel and how bad this all is for me. I have a had an interesting couple of years. I'm really trying to figure myself out, and man. It aint easy. I finally had a good boy. made me feel like a beautiful young woman. i felt confident. i felt happy. i felt cared for. but that didnt work, it wasnt the right time for us. and i am trying to get past that and know that there is someone out there for me that will make me feel the same way and is ready for what i want.
I am just tired. i want the life i deserve. i am a good fucking person with a huge heart. im tired of feeling like im not good enough. feeling sorry for myself. its stupid. its not worth it. and these weak moments i have are going to happen again. im just going to have to deal with it and move the fuck on.
right now, friends. i love you all. but i only have room for people who are really to be supportive and helpful for the next couple months. this is hard to do alone, but im going to get my life together. i would love for people to be a part of that.