car crashes bring out the best in us...
im sorry for the person i became...
okay, so this is the first time in 3 days ive slept in my own bed. friday, we had band practice. gaire and dan ended up staying the nite at my house. we woke up, and went back to gaire's for practice. gaires parents left town for the night, so after practice, me, aj, and dan put together a small party. gaire went to work, and we chilled at his house. katie and melissa stopped by for a while. then, katrina and beth showed up. we all chilled on the couches and what not. as katie and beth were leaving, tony and his band (minus a bassist) shows up...bringing goodies. so me, aj, tony, and the drummer went in the shed and got retarded. we all chilled and what not. then, i get a text from katie. it said that her and melissa got hit on rt 9. so i figured it was like a fender bender thing. not at all. i called her, and she was like crying and telling that her leg hurt a lot. they were actually t-boned...some asshole ran a red light and hit them on katie's side. i was freaking out...i didnt know how bad it was. i was crying on the phone with her. i was so scared. i realized that ive been taking things for granted. i dont know what i would have done if i lost her...and the worst thing is, i was too stoned to go to the hospital that night. i should have been there, and frankly, im kicking myself in the ass for this. i feel like such an idiot. i know its not my job to be there, nor my right. i mean, if anyone should have been there, it would be BJ (so everyone has told me...and i guess that makes sense). i just dont know... i feel like im just a bad person.
and this is how i choose to live
as if im jumping off a cliff
knowing that you'll save me
knowing that you'll save me
after all the stupid things i missed
theres nothing left to forgive
you already forgave me
you already forgave me
DEATH AND DECAY CANT TOUCH US NOW
and my feelings right now are so torn. im a little more than useless at this point...
which to bury, us or the hatchet
ill have a bigger update later today, maybe tonite. i think im going to katies today to help the gimp. we'll see.
let it all out,
x j x
okay, so this is the first time in 3 days ive slept in my own bed. friday, we had band practice. gaire and dan ended up staying the nite at my house. we woke up, and went back to gaire's for practice. gaires parents left town for the night, so after practice, me, aj, and dan put together a small party. gaire went to work, and we chilled at his house. katie and melissa stopped by for a while. then, katrina and beth showed up. we all chilled on the couches and what not. as katie and beth were leaving, tony and his band (minus a bassist) shows up...bringing goodies. so me, aj, tony, and the drummer went in the shed and got retarded. we all chilled and what not. then, i get a text from katie. it said that her and melissa got hit on rt 9. so i figured it was like a fender bender thing. not at all. i called her, and she was like crying and telling that her leg hurt a lot. they were actually t-boned...some asshole ran a red light and hit them on katie's side. i was freaking out...i didnt know how bad it was. i was crying on the phone with her. i was so scared. i realized that ive been taking things for granted. i dont know what i would have done if i lost her...and the worst thing is, i was too stoned to go to the hospital that night. i should have been there, and frankly, im kicking myself in the ass for this. i feel like such an idiot. i know its not my job to be there, nor my right. i mean, if anyone should have been there, it would be BJ (so everyone has told me...and i guess that makes sense). i just dont know... i feel like im just a bad person.
and this is how i choose to live
as if im jumping off a cliff
knowing that you'll save me
knowing that you'll save me
after all the stupid things i missed
theres nothing left to forgive
you already forgave me
you already forgave me
DEATH AND DECAY CANT TOUCH US NOW
and my feelings right now are so torn. im a little more than useless at this point...
which to bury, us or the hatchet
ill have a bigger update later today, maybe tonite. i think im going to katies today to help the gimp. we'll see.
let it all out,
x j x