you're gonna carry that weight...
moved into the new house, its nice except for the fact that i can't fit my damn box spring up our stairs to my room, but at least my mattress is up there now so i wont have to sleep on the hardwood floor for a fourth night in a row. our old rental company is bending us over, we're fighting to get our deposit (and our dignity) back but its looking to be a long shot.
doing my best to deal with a bad (from my end) situation concerning someone i really care about. things are difficult when i have so much free time to think about what happened and where i'm at. i try my best to be happy with my life, i feel that if i were to die any given day i want to be able to say i was happy with my life. i dont regret much and i try not to hold grudges, i make my own choices and i can't blame anyone else for where i'm at. right now though it is very hard for me to keep saying i'm happy with where my life is. i know i have a lot to be happy about and i know there are many many people out there who have it much harder than i do, but when i'm laying in bed either falling asleep or waking up and i have just my brain for company i find it very hard to say i have the things in my life that make me happy...and that really scares me.
ugh, it seems all i ever do on this thing is bitch and moan. hopefully i'll kick these bad weather blues and feel better soon, i guess its all up to me though.
my sisters are coming up from NV for christmas, it will be really good to see them. i miss my little sisters very much and i hate not seeing them as often as i used to. i'm starting to realize they aren't so little anymore and if i dont keep in touch with them they will be all grown up without me even knowing.
not much else going on, i need a new job so i should be looking for that but my motivation is always somewhere else and it never picks up the phone. i'm trying to get out more to help with the aforementioned bad situation but i'm broke and i dont know if i even remember how to talk to girls so it is a slow process. if i had the money i probably would have broken down and got a mercury lovelab membership last week, i know its sad but damn me if there aren't one or two girls on there that i'd try talking to. then again, maybe admitting to wanting to sign up to a personals site isn't the most attractive quality so i guess i'll keep that one to myself if i'm talking to someone i'm interested in.
ok, this is long enough. i wont feel bad if most of you dont read this. looking back i realize my journal is one of the most un-entertaining things on the internet but hey its my journal and if i want to be boring as hell (which apparently i do) then i will. my phone doesn't work right now but if anyone would like to go do something this week (something cheap) leave me a comment and i'll give a call to try and set something up. i haven't talked to a lot of you on my friends list in a long time, i feel bad about that but i also know i am notorious for saying i should be more in touch and then not following through. so i just want to say i hope you're all doing well, i know some of you have been going through some rough times, just know i'm still thinking about you guys. i really hope once things get more settled i can get to see some of you. i think a trip up to Seattle to see some old friends is long over due, maybe i'll drag Chuck along with me too.
alright, i'm out of here. later.
doing my best to deal with a bad (from my end) situation concerning someone i really care about. things are difficult when i have so much free time to think about what happened and where i'm at. i try my best to be happy with my life, i feel that if i were to die any given day i want to be able to say i was happy with my life. i dont regret much and i try not to hold grudges, i make my own choices and i can't blame anyone else for where i'm at. right now though it is very hard for me to keep saying i'm happy with where my life is. i know i have a lot to be happy about and i know there are many many people out there who have it much harder than i do, but when i'm laying in bed either falling asleep or waking up and i have just my brain for company i find it very hard to say i have the things in my life that make me happy...and that really scares me.
ugh, it seems all i ever do on this thing is bitch and moan. hopefully i'll kick these bad weather blues and feel better soon, i guess its all up to me though.
my sisters are coming up from NV for christmas, it will be really good to see them. i miss my little sisters very much and i hate not seeing them as often as i used to. i'm starting to realize they aren't so little anymore and if i dont keep in touch with them they will be all grown up without me even knowing.
not much else going on, i need a new job so i should be looking for that but my motivation is always somewhere else and it never picks up the phone. i'm trying to get out more to help with the aforementioned bad situation but i'm broke and i dont know if i even remember how to talk to girls so it is a slow process. if i had the money i probably would have broken down and got a mercury lovelab membership last week, i know its sad but damn me if there aren't one or two girls on there that i'd try talking to. then again, maybe admitting to wanting to sign up to a personals site isn't the most attractive quality so i guess i'll keep that one to myself if i'm talking to someone i'm interested in.
ok, this is long enough. i wont feel bad if most of you dont read this. looking back i realize my journal is one of the most un-entertaining things on the internet but hey its my journal and if i want to be boring as hell (which apparently i do) then i will. my phone doesn't work right now but if anyone would like to go do something this week (something cheap) leave me a comment and i'll give a call to try and set something up. i haven't talked to a lot of you on my friends list in a long time, i feel bad about that but i also know i am notorious for saying i should be more in touch and then not following through. so i just want to say i hope you're all doing well, i know some of you have been going through some rough times, just know i'm still thinking about you guys. i really hope once things get more settled i can get to see some of you. i think a trip up to Seattle to see some old friends is long over due, maybe i'll drag Chuck along with me too.
alright, i'm out of here. later.