The 2011 Challenge: August Update -- Slow Down, You Move Too Fast
The end of August marks the eighth update on the the #Reverb10 prompt for my blog-along with MathNerd314 and SunflowerAKB.
Here is the prompt for those who may have missed the first post:
What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011?
How will you go about eliminating them?
How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?
My list of 11 things.
*********************************************************************
I was forced to slow down this month, come to a screeching halt, really.
During the warm-up song at a Combat class, quite literally 15 seconds into class, I moved forward and my left foot did not. For those keeping track, yes, it was THAT foot. I hobbled out of the studio and tried to massage out the pain, but it was no use. I couldn't put any weight on that foot. ChemGuy turned the car around and rescued me. I spent the rest of that day and half of the next on two crutches, then 36 hours after that on 1 crutch, then ditched the crutches for a slow hobble. My ankle is just fine, but I seem to have aggravated a tendon in the side of my foot. I saw a foot specialist who confirmed the absence of stress fractures (something I was quite concerned about, actually, considering how many times I've messed this foot up in the same way over the last 18 months. The foot specialist wanted me to put essentially no weight on the foot for 3 weeks. I suggested that if the symptoms didn't improve with me taking things easier and having my massage therapist torture it, I would consider her aggressive treatment. But for the time being, as long as there were no stress fractures, staying off of it completely was not an option. I'll slow down a little, temporarily, but stopping is out of the question. It's been nearly 2 weeks now, and everything is much, much better. The bones/soft tissue in my foot are not quite right yet, but I'm hoping with another aggressive massage session, we can get things back in the right place and me back on the path to no foot pain that I'd been running along before the tumble.
Maybe I had been moving a little too fast. Maybe I had to fall to learn something. I would like to assign some meaning to it, find the existential lesson in it, if only to feel less stupid about falling on my face in Combat class. The thing is, though, I think I was moving at a good speed for me, and I was not doing it to run away from something. I'd been getting my yoga in and trying to figure out where to put more. Instead of walking a couple of leisurely miles on the treadmill before Combat in the morning, I'd found the courage to hit the "5K" button and finished that longer distance faster than my usual pre-Combat walk. (I only did that once because the next time I was at the gym, I hobbled out.) I'd had enough courage to wear an exceedingly fitted top that I'd never worn in public out to dinner. (The top was really not something I ever would've picked for myself, but I kept it because my Aunt bought it for me. I couldn't wear it comfortably when she bought it. Now I can.) I wasn't making much progress on my own research at the time, but with 7 undergrads in the lab for the summer, I spent most of my day keeping them moving. And 7 bits of projects moving forward is better than ONLY my 1 bit of a project moving forward. I spent an entire Sunday going through all of my clothes and found 6 big bags of items to donate. We'd purchased some new furniture for the house and parts of the main floor were really starting to feel like home. I'd gotten out the boxes of photos and trinkets and "us" things and started putting them out for display. I was doing my best to cook meals (or at least make us big salads with tasty farm veggies), work, and keep the house running. I was getting a lot done, not all of it, not everything I thought needed to get done, but things were moving forward on many, many fronts.
And then I fell. And had to stop it all. The fall was mostly due to an equipment failure. I'd been doing Combat in my running shoes. Very, very grippy running shoes are not conducive to lateral movements on carpet in a fitness studio. One's shoe (and foot) stays put, and then down one goes. I've had to make space in my gym bag for another pair of shoes. The running shoes stay because (shock of all shocks), I seem to have started running. I added some less grippy (and so cute!) cross-trainers to the bag for my return to Combat. I did one class so far in my recovery because I knew the teacher was worried about me, and I wanted to show her that all was on the right track. Also, my gym had a summer promotion for sticking with a fitness routine, and I needed to get 1 more visit in to complete my summer. I didn't bounce around (one foot on the ground at all times) and mostly worked my upper body, but I could tell that the less grippy shoes were a significant improvement. I never thought I'd be the girl with 2 pairs of exercise shoes in her gym bag. I never thought I'd be the one to say that I did 5K on the treadmill before getting into work at 9A, either.
It's good for me to move at that pace. All of that activity helps me release my nervous stress energy. The one day that I found myself utterly overwhelmed during August was after the fall, on a day when I was confronted with work stress and homeowner stress. I got overwhelmed because I couldn't even walk around the "circle" of four blocks with houses on them that is my little neighborhood. I hadn't been to the gym or yoga in a week, and both work and homeownership were presenting me with things for which I felt ill-prepared. I usually "process" while walking; fitness and yoga classes take my mind off it and expend some of the nervous energy. All of my usual coping strategies were blocked. It wasn't ideal, but a good talk with ChemGuy helped a lot.
When I make time for my priorities, everything is better. I like being the girl with a gym bag and a yoga bag. I like being the girl who cooks dinner after she gets home late because she planned well. I also like being the girl who can say "I don't want to cook dinner tonight." and not be really stressed about spending extra money or calories on an unplanned meal out. I hope to get the house in order well enough that I can be the girl who, with a quick clean on a Saturday morning, can have people over "whenever" because she knows the guest toilet is clean enough and the living room isn't "decorated" in clean underwear and socks from the last laundry day. (This may have to be a goal for 2012...) I want to keep seeing my massage therapist because she's very gifted in the arts of healing torture. I want to make a whole bunch of research progress because ChemGuy's grants get great marks when preliminary data aren't required. I want to be happier about the way I look and never wear the way-too-big clothes that I just donated (or their dumpy equivalents) again.
It probably sounds like "I want it ALL." Here's the thing, though; I don't. There's not a lot on that list that I would want to add to my life. I don't have time for more. I can't "do it all perfectly, without breaking a sweat". More of the time I remember this.
I guess I just looked stupid when I fell over.
Here is the prompt for those who may have missed the first post:
What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011?
How will you go about eliminating them?
How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?
My list of 11 things.
*********************************************************************
I was forced to slow down this month, come to a screeching halt, really.
During the warm-up song at a Combat class, quite literally 15 seconds into class, I moved forward and my left foot did not. For those keeping track, yes, it was THAT foot. I hobbled out of the studio and tried to massage out the pain, but it was no use. I couldn't put any weight on that foot. ChemGuy turned the car around and rescued me. I spent the rest of that day and half of the next on two crutches, then 36 hours after that on 1 crutch, then ditched the crutches for a slow hobble. My ankle is just fine, but I seem to have aggravated a tendon in the side of my foot. I saw a foot specialist who confirmed the absence of stress fractures (something I was quite concerned about, actually, considering how many times I've messed this foot up in the same way over the last 18 months. The foot specialist wanted me to put essentially no weight on the foot for 3 weeks. I suggested that if the symptoms didn't improve with me taking things easier and having my massage therapist torture it, I would consider her aggressive treatment. But for the time being, as long as there were no stress fractures, staying off of it completely was not an option. I'll slow down a little, temporarily, but stopping is out of the question. It's been nearly 2 weeks now, and everything is much, much better. The bones/soft tissue in my foot are not quite right yet, but I'm hoping with another aggressive massage session, we can get things back in the right place and me back on the path to no foot pain that I'd been running along before the tumble.
Maybe I had been moving a little too fast. Maybe I had to fall to learn something. I would like to assign some meaning to it, find the existential lesson in it, if only to feel less stupid about falling on my face in Combat class. The thing is, though, I think I was moving at a good speed for me, and I was not doing it to run away from something. I'd been getting my yoga in and trying to figure out where to put more. Instead of walking a couple of leisurely miles on the treadmill before Combat in the morning, I'd found the courage to hit the "5K" button and finished that longer distance faster than my usual pre-Combat walk. (I only did that once because the next time I was at the gym, I hobbled out.) I'd had enough courage to wear an exceedingly fitted top that I'd never worn in public out to dinner. (The top was really not something I ever would've picked for myself, but I kept it because my Aunt bought it for me. I couldn't wear it comfortably when she bought it. Now I can.) I wasn't making much progress on my own research at the time, but with 7 undergrads in the lab for the summer, I spent most of my day keeping them moving. And 7 bits of projects moving forward is better than ONLY my 1 bit of a project moving forward. I spent an entire Sunday going through all of my clothes and found 6 big bags of items to donate. We'd purchased some new furniture for the house and parts of the main floor were really starting to feel like home. I'd gotten out the boxes of photos and trinkets and "us" things and started putting them out for display. I was doing my best to cook meals (or at least make us big salads with tasty farm veggies), work, and keep the house running. I was getting a lot done, not all of it, not everything I thought needed to get done, but things were moving forward on many, many fronts.
And then I fell. And had to stop it all. The fall was mostly due to an equipment failure. I'd been doing Combat in my running shoes. Very, very grippy running shoes are not conducive to lateral movements on carpet in a fitness studio. One's shoe (and foot) stays put, and then down one goes. I've had to make space in my gym bag for another pair of shoes. The running shoes stay because (shock of all shocks), I seem to have started running. I added some less grippy (and so cute!) cross-trainers to the bag for my return to Combat. I did one class so far in my recovery because I knew the teacher was worried about me, and I wanted to show her that all was on the right track. Also, my gym had a summer promotion for sticking with a fitness routine, and I needed to get 1 more visit in to complete my summer. I didn't bounce around (one foot on the ground at all times) and mostly worked my upper body, but I could tell that the less grippy shoes were a significant improvement. I never thought I'd be the girl with 2 pairs of exercise shoes in her gym bag. I never thought I'd be the one to say that I did 5K on the treadmill before getting into work at 9A, either.
It's good for me to move at that pace. All of that activity helps me release my nervous stress energy. The one day that I found myself utterly overwhelmed during August was after the fall, on a day when I was confronted with work stress and homeowner stress. I got overwhelmed because I couldn't even walk around the "circle" of four blocks with houses on them that is my little neighborhood. I hadn't been to the gym or yoga in a week, and both work and homeownership were presenting me with things for which I felt ill-prepared. I usually "process" while walking; fitness and yoga classes take my mind off it and expend some of the nervous energy. All of my usual coping strategies were blocked. It wasn't ideal, but a good talk with ChemGuy helped a lot.
When I make time for my priorities, everything is better. I like being the girl with a gym bag and a yoga bag. I like being the girl who cooks dinner after she gets home late because she planned well. I also like being the girl who can say "I don't want to cook dinner tonight." and not be really stressed about spending extra money or calories on an unplanned meal out. I hope to get the house in order well enough that I can be the girl who, with a quick clean on a Saturday morning, can have people over "whenever" because she knows the guest toilet is clean enough and the living room isn't "decorated" in clean underwear and socks from the last laundry day. (This may have to be a goal for 2012...) I want to keep seeing my massage therapist because she's very gifted in the arts of healing torture. I want to make a whole bunch of research progress because ChemGuy's grants get great marks when preliminary data aren't required. I want to be happier about the way I look and never wear the way-too-big clothes that I just donated (or their dumpy equivalents) again.
It probably sounds like "I want it ALL." Here's the thing, though; I don't. There's not a lot on that list that I would want to add to my life. I don't have time for more. I can't "do it all perfectly, without breaking a sweat". More of the time I remember this.
I guess I just looked stupid when I fell over.