2011 Challenge: May Update, Clarification
After further rumination this evening, I realized that I didn't express myself with as much clarity as I could have.
My disproportionate emotional responses stemmed not from a lack of maturity or self-reliance, but from the fact that because of my worry and anxiety about ChemGuy's Lab Challenges, I was continually operating about a nanometer below my breaking point. Each additional set-back or frustration or issue, however small, pushed me over the edge. Now that I am operating in a substantially healthier mindset, I am much more able to assess a situation and respond appropriately. I've always stepped up when I needed to; I've never been one to cower or cry or freak out when it really mattered. I've got plenty of big girl undies, and I wear them every day. That's possibly the most vexing part of this for ChemGuy: he sees that I am in control under far worse conditions, so why do minor things result in major reactions? Happily, now that my overall outlook is more positive, the overwhelming fear and worry rises up and boils over less frequently. In hindsight, I can't imagine that I ever would've "lost it" during a Freezer Fiasco, but my reaction to minor lab frustrations is re-aligning itself with what is appropriate, and that is definitely a good sign. I suppose consideration of the Freezer Fiasco helped me come to that realization; I just hadn't put my finger upon it when I finalized the update entry.
My disproportionate emotional responses stemmed not from a lack of maturity or self-reliance, but from the fact that because of my worry and anxiety about ChemGuy's Lab Challenges, I was continually operating about a nanometer below my breaking point. Each additional set-back or frustration or issue, however small, pushed me over the edge. Now that I am operating in a substantially healthier mindset, I am much more able to assess a situation and respond appropriately. I've always stepped up when I needed to; I've never been one to cower or cry or freak out when it really mattered. I've got plenty of big girl undies, and I wear them every day. That's possibly the most vexing part of this for ChemGuy: he sees that I am in control under far worse conditions, so why do minor things result in major reactions? Happily, now that my overall outlook is more positive, the overwhelming fear and worry rises up and boils over less frequently. In hindsight, I can't imagine that I ever would've "lost it" during a Freezer Fiasco, but my reaction to minor lab frustrations is re-aligning itself with what is appropriate, and that is definitely a good sign. I suppose consideration of the Freezer Fiasco helped me come to that realization; I just hadn't put my finger upon it when I finalized the update entry.