woops

[chem6ayall]

Lately I've been grapling with the notion that maybe I'm a jerk. Like, really, I might have actually screwed up a thing or two the last nineteen or so years. Up until now I've pulled this really clever line, especially on Christians, where I'm like, "Yeah, you know, it was a crappy time in my life, but I just don't see how I could have had it any

Comments

[blank86]

it sounds like you're referring to anecdotes... while alex is talking about meaningful, life-altering experiences...

sure we get to know each other by sharing our past and our experiences. but if we're changing the stories to better fit to our likings, then we don't really know each other at all, do we? all we would know is the image of anna that anna wants us to see and the image of alex that alex wanted us to see. "revisionist history" in this context is not only being dishonest to your friends, but it's being dishonest to yourself. how can you truly believe in your heart that you've grown if you can't even bring yourself to face the truth of the events and the emotions that are attatched to those occurances?

leaving gaps in history, or not dealing with a truth are also issues. but actually changing your past to better fit who you'd like to be today? that's just a crime against yourself. if you can't be honest with yourself and you can't be honest with your friends, then you're clearly nowhere near you'd like to imagine yourself being (and hence create these quaint little stories where you learned something and grew from it).

[karendela_cruz]

But ry, I'm saying that even our memories are narratives. I mean, what if we only remember what we choose to remember and block out the rest? Then we can't help but construct stories that frame us in a good/naughty/victim/hero/savior light. Or whatever else turns you on. So it's like, life itself is coming at you with all these details and all you can do is stand in the plastic booth and try to grab as many hundred dollar bills as you can.

And even if you didn't turn your experience into anecdote, you still make it into a story to explain it to yourself.

We'd all like to be as honest as we can. Maybe we know when we're growing when we can remember the times we remember doing something shitty and then reach out to someone and say, "Hey, I want to tell you about this one time I did something shitty..."

Or am I totally off base? I hope you're enjoying your new quarter. Ahmad misses you.

[blank86]

i think we're on different pages. you seem to be talking about when we subconsciously choose to remember an event happening a certain way. and it has been proven that the long term memory is fairly inaccurate eventhough subjects often report beliefs of high accuracy in remember the events.

"whether or not you could decided in retrospect what was going on. I did that for a long time, revised my history, so that it would match up with the lessons everyone figured I probably learned. Like, "Oh, yeah, that was really sucky," but really, I don't think I saw it that way."

it just seems to me that based on these sentences, it's more an issue of convincing yourself consciously that something happened a certain way and caused a certain result or led to a specific lesson being learned. all i'm saying is that though we may choose to turn our past into these little stories, it's important to try and keep the main integrity of the truth alive, or else we'll never be who we want to be.

the new quarter is alright so far, i think i'm gonna try and change a little. i miss ahmad and you and pronnie too.